Fearing for their children’s futures, parents search for universal parenting techniques that will put their kids on the route to a prosperous job and a happy life. But times are changing, and the old principles of success are no longer relevant. Sometimes, parents’ actions, intended to be helpful, can actually create challenges for their children’s future.
1. Not allowing their kid to fail
Perfectionist parent often strives for perfection themselves, leading them to expect increasing levels of perfection from their child as they grow older — from the child’s artwork never being good enough to their bed not being made perfectly or not studying hard enough. The child faces constant criticism and reprimands but is never allowed to learn from their mistakes. Children of perfectionist parents may grow up to be perfectionists themselves or develop low self-esteem and lack confidence. Both outcomes can negatively impact their future careers.
- Anna’s mother always compared her to Mary, saying, “Look how tidy Mary is compared to you, Anna!” Despite Anna’s efforts to emulate Mary, she never measured up, and her mother’s criticism only intensified. Anna’s mother never allowed her the chance to improve her habits and learn basic skills. Now at 25 years old, Anna still compares herself to others and always comes up short in her own eyes. Needless to say, this constant comparison has taken a toll on her self-esteem.
2. Paying a child for good grades
This topic remains a subject of debate, but consider this perspective: imagine yourself as a contractor continually paying more for a product or service, with the child as the supplier providing it in exchange for money or rewards. It doesn’t sound like a good idea, does it?
- Alexandra’s parents sought to motivate their daughter to excel in her studies by offering money as an incentive. Initially, Alexandra’s grades improved, suggesting the approach was effective. However, her parents later discovered that she had been fabricating stories about an imaginary illness and sharing them with her teachers. She even falsely claimed that her parents constantly criticized her for poor grades. The sympathetic teacher then raised Alexandra’s grades out of pity. Following this incident, Alexandra’s parents discontinued the practice of paying for grades and sought guidance from a child psychologist.
3. Preventing their child from expressing their feelings
Sometimes, adults dismiss a child’s feelings as wrong — insisting that bruises don’t hurt, feeling anger toward a child who hit them is shameful, or being sad even with a valid reason is incorrect. Parents often do this with good intentions, wanting to teach their children proper behavior. However, it’s crucial to recognize that a fundamental skill for modern individuals is the ability to acknowledge and manage their feelings, emotions, and needs.
- Kate, now 37, vividly remembers how her mother forced her to give away her beloved doll to another girl, admonishing her for being “greedy” and scolding her for getting upset over a “stupid toy.” Kate never got her doll back. Over the years, she has worked hard to assert herself, learning to say “no” to demanding people, including her boss and coworkers. Despite this, Kate often feels guilty whenever she refuses to comply with their requests.
4. Failing to support their child in front of strangers
Every child needs the assurance that their parents will stand up for them in any conflict, regardless of the situation, and won’t blindly trust the words of authority figures like teachers, principals, or neighbors. When parents allow their children to speak up for themselves when they are ready to take responsibility for their actions, it helps them develop healthy self-esteem and a sense of personal accountability.
- Maggy was raised by her grandmother, who often said, “But what will other people think?” Although her grandmother loved Maggy and wanted the best for her, she constantly emphasized the importance of public opinion. As a result, Maggy struggles to make her own decisions and even relies on her friends’ opinions when choosing something as simple as dessert.
5. Drawing inspiration and comparing to successful people
Each generation has its own set of heroes whom young people aspire to emulate. In recent decades, the tales of personal success from wealthy and influential individuals have become widespread. However, it’s not as simple as learning their life story and achieving happiness. If it were that easy, everyone who reads their books would have solved all their financial problems by now.
- Alex developed a passion for computers from a young age. Inspired by the story of Steve Jobs that his dad shared with him, Alex immersed himself in learning everything about Apple. When it came time to choose a university, Alex initially believed he didn’t need higher education because Steve Jobs succeeded without it. Eventually, Alex realized the importance of education for his path and pursued college to advance his career. Now, Alex jokes, “What worked for Steve Jobs is just a waste of time for an ordinary guy like me.”
6. Pressuring their child to decide on their future career
The notion that a person should stick to one career for their entire life is likely outdated and impractical. Many modern occupations didn’t exist a decade ago, while others have already become obsolete.
- Since childhood, Max had a passion for exploring computers and understanding various software programs. Despite his parents’ concerns, he pursued this interest and eventually discovered online courses in software testing. Now, he is thriving in this field, leveraging his potential and skills.
- Laura, at 37, worked as a sociologist for a major consulting firm but found it challenging to maintain her career after having her son. During maternity leave, she rediscovered her love for photography. Starting with unique photos of her child, Laura progressed to offering photoshoots for friends’ and acquaintances’ kids. Over time, she opened her photo studio. Laura now earns as much as her husband and successfully manages her professional life while caring for her family. This shift exemplifies the evolving nature of careers and the importance of embracing new opportunities.
7. Arguing about money
Since children may absorb long-lasting messages from these circumstances, it’s crucial to avoid arguing about money or other matters in front of them. Instead of one-on-one conflicts, which can cause youngsters to take sides and become distressed, talks should be led in a way that promotes involvement.
- Chris grew up witnessing his parents argue about money. When he went to college at 17 and moved away, he struggled with managing his finances and spending on unnecessary items. He now fears starting relationships, believing that money is the root cause of his sadness.
8. Prohibiting the child from using social networks
Social networks have become today’s equivalent of the yards and neighborhoods where we used to play as children. Kids can learn valuable skills through computer programs integrated with social media platforms. While parents should remind their kids about online safety rules, depriving children of this experience can be harsh.
- Aria’s mother was surprised to discover that her 10-year-old daughter had learned to create cool videos. Even more surprising was the realization that Aria had learned this skill from using TikTok. Now, creating short videos has become a family hobby for them.
9. Teaching the kid that they have the stuff at home
Many of us recall times when we asked our parents to buy us things, only to hear, “We already have that at home; we don’t need it.” Some parents repeatedly expose their children to such situations, unintentionally discouraging them from getting what they truly need. This pattern can significantly impact their financial habits as adults. On the other hand, constantly satisfying a child’s every need can also have negative effects.
- Jan’s mother often tells him they have things at home and they don’t buy them from the store. Jan has learned to overlook his needs, and with each subsequent request, he withdraws more, knowing not to ask. When Jan grows up and earns his income, money will go towards trivial things because that’s how he’s learned to live.
10. Preventing children from getting into conflicts
The ability to engage with others is perhaps one of the most crucial professional skills one can possess. It’s important not only to help children make friends but also to teach them how to engage in healthy arguments. People often hold differing opinions, and there are various ways to express emotions. The sooner children grasp this concept, the easier their interactions with others will be, including in professional settings.
- Michaela spent her life avoiding conflicts, preferring to agree with others rather than engage in disputes. She believed that someone always had to be the “smarter” one, but this approach proved more harmful than beneficial. One day, Michaela learned about active listening and decided to apply this approach in her professional life. She excelled at paying attention to others’ perspectives while also expressing her feelings when others attempted to take advantage of her. Initially, people found her communication style unconventional, but conflicts with coworkers became more constructive, leading to mutually beneficial resolutions.
11. Helping their child learn to save money
The world is always changing, and old ways of making or saving money might not work anymore. We can’t predict what skills will be valuable in the future economy. That’s why it’s important to teach kids to be flexible and ready for change, not just to save money.
- Emily’s grandfather saved money his whole life “just in case.” But when that “case” finally happened, a financial meltdown made all his investments lose value. Emily saw this while growing up, and now she’s worried the economy could collapse at any time. She believes the best investment is in her skills and knowledge.
12. Trying to build a strong character with the help of sports
While there’s a widespread belief that sports are beneficial for discipline and character development, excessive competitiveness in professional sports can be detrimental to a child’s physical and mental health. This competitiveness can be fueled by both fellow young athletes and coaches. Only a few individuals become champions, and coaches often prioritize these select few, neglecting the rest of the team. Coping with this unfair treatment at a young age can lead to low self-esteem and confusion about alternative life paths if a child must stop playing sports.
- Tom’s mother pursued rhythmic gymnastics as a child but had to abandon her Olympic dreams due to a leg injury. When Tom was three, his mother enrolled him in gymnastics classes, hoping he would excel. However, Tom struggled in this sport, leading him to lose interest in school, feel like a failure, and struggle to identify his strengths. Now, Tom is studying to become a child psychologist to help parents navigate the challenges of raising children without making the same mistakes.
Being protective of your children is natural, but it’s important to set boundaries. Respecting their privacy is crucial for a healthy parent-child relationship and their personal development. Violating their privacy can have serious negative effects, especially on their mental health.
Christopher Reeve’s son lost both his parents by age 13
Numerous accounts exist of children who have grown up to resemble their famous parents.
A number of famous children make us gasp in disbelief when we look at them, including the twin daughters of Michael J. Fox, the teenage daughter of Julia Roberts who looks just like her, and even the grandson of Elvis Presley.
Will, the 29-year-old son of Christopher Reeve, is striving to carry on his father’s inspirational legacy in addition to being a near-perfect replica of his father.
Sadly, at the age of thirteen, Christopher Reeve’s youngest son had to cope with the loss of both of his parents.
A scene from the 1978 movie “Superman,” starring Christopher Reeve as Superman. (Photo via Getty Images))
How does a hero appear?
Growing up in the late 1970s and early 1980s, Christopher Reeve was a hero to millions of people.
When the DC comic book character Superman first appeared on television in 1978, he won a BAFTA for Most Promising Male Newcomer.
Superman II, Superman III, and Superman IV: The Quest for Peace are the three further superhero films in which the endearing and attractive actor starred.
We will always remember the well-known superhero that goes by his name.
But in addition to being an actor, Christopher Reeve (born in New York in 1952) was also a screenwriter, producer, director of films, campaigner, and horseback rider.
Accident involving Christopher Reeve
Christopher Reeve’s life would forever alter on May 27, 1995.
The well-liked actor suffered a spinal cord injury after falling off his horse Buck at an equestrian competition in Culpeper, Virginia.
The Hollywood actor became wheelchair-bound and paralyzed from the neck down, shocking millions of fans and his family.
Christopher’s mother pleaded with the medical staff to discontinue his mechanical ventilation and allow him pass away, according to the actor’s foundation.
The actor would have died instantly if he had fallen one centimeter farther to the left, according to information subsequently disclosed by the New York Times. In contrast, Christopher would have most likely only sustained a concussion if he had landed slightly to the right.
Christopher became quadriplegic while he was just 42 years old. For the remainder of his life, he needed a portable ventilator and was confined to a wheelchair.
Physicians promptly announced that there was little chance of recovery, telling Reeve in particular that it would be “impossible” for him to regain any movement.
In the early days of his hospital stay, Christopher Reeve was incoherent and highly drugged. He was going through hell. He believed his life had been ruined after learning the terrible diagnosis from the doctor.
In an attempt to spare his family from further hardship, he suggested to his wife Dana Morosini that they might as well end the relationship.
“I will support whatever you want to do because this is your life and your decision,” she said, her eyes welling with sorrow. But I want you to know that no matter what, I’ll be by your side for the entire journey. You remain who you are. I also adore you.
Reeve had the option to give up, but he chose to dedicate himself to activism and founded the Christopher Reeve Foundation with his loving wife Dana. Later on, the Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation became its new name.
Additionally, the pair co-founded the Reeve-Irvine Research Center, which advocates for stem cell research and patients of spinal cord injuries.
To ensure his son had a happy childhood, Christopher Reeve also made the decision to do everything in his power.
In a 2016 interview with PEOPLE, Will talked candidly about his incredible upbringing, which he described as “completely typical.”
Will recalled them with affection, saying, “They were the ones who told me to go to bed, eat my broccoli, and turn off the TV.” “It was a totally normal childhood, but I understand that not every child experiences seeing their dad on the magazine at the checkout aisle when they go to the grocery store.”
Will also recalled the day his father showed him how to use a wheelchair to ride a bike. “I didn’t think it would succeed. “I’m scared, but I can hear my dad saying, ‘Steady, steady, left, right, left, right,’” he remarked. “By the third lap, I’m grinning and waving at my dad, and he’s grinning, too.” That had great meaning for him. I would race in a wheelchair later on. He would permit me to triumph.
Regretfully, just as they were reassembling everything, Will’s father passed away.
Death of Christopher Reeve
Christopher Reeve has numerous health issues even as a small child. His breathing was hampered by allergies and asthma.
He also discovered at the age of sixteen that he had alopecia areata, which was the reason of his hair loss. During his acting career, Christopher managed to manage the condition; nevertheless, upon becoming disabled, he made the decision to completely cut off all of his hair.
Christopher had multiple infections treated in the early 2000s. He was receiving treatment for an infected pressure ulcer that was resulting in sepsis in October 2004. While he was watching his son Will play hockey on October 9, Christopher had a heart attack that same evening as a result of receiving medication for his sickness.
The physicians were at a loss for what to do once he went into a coma.
At 52 years old, Christopher Reeve passed away on October 10, 2004.
Reeve’s death was attributed to a medication response, according to both Mrs. Dana and the doctors.
At Hartsdale, New York’s Ferncliff Cemetery, his corpse was cremated, and his ashes were dispersed.
Death of the wife
Despite never having smoked, Dana, Christopher’s spouse and caretaker, was also diagnosed with lung cancer only ten months after her husband’s passing. But in the early years of her career, Dana used to sing and perform in smokey pubs and hotel lobbies, claims Christopher P. Andersen.
On April 11, 1992, American singer and actress Dana wed actor Christopher Reeve in Williamstown, Massachusetts.
Dana, 44, passed away on March 6, 2006, following several months of fighting a malignant lung malignancy.
Willard Reeve
William Elliot “Will” Reeve, the son of Christopher and Dana, was born on June 7, 1992. Regretfully, Will was abandoned as an orphan when he was just 13 years old.
Nevertheless, Will has grown up to resemble his father, even though he has mostly avoided the spotlight up to this point.
After completing his schooling, Will is pursuing a successful career in the sports press profession.
Will, who is now 29 years old and has been handsomely bequeathed by his father, looks just like him more than ten years later.
However, what really stands out about this young man is that he is carrying on the excellent work that his parents began.
Despite the possibility of a downward spiral or mental instability following such a traumatic experience at such a young age, Will was able to avoid going down this path because of his strong moral principles and the support of his parents.
“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles,” my father once said. I use this quote often to honor his legacy and instill his timeless spirit in a new generation,” he added in a Daily Mail article.
Will told his parents he would succeed in his career and now contributes to ESPN’s SportsCenter. He and his father both enjoy sports.
After serving as a production assistant and intern at “Good Morning America” while attending Middlebury College, he was hired.
He carries on the job his parents began, searching for novel treatments and spearheading the foundation’s fundraising efforts for additional technological advancements that will benefit individuals with spinal injuries.
In an interview with CBS News in 2018, Will discussed a letter he had written to himself following the death of his parents.
“I have both bad and good news to share. I’ll start with the negative because, no matter what, you always need to be aware of the full picture. And no, it won’t change. You’re at the lowest moment in your life, which is the bad news. You’ve just said your last goodbye to Mom and you’re in a hospital room in New York City,” he wrote. “You’re thirteen years old.” She is forty-four. carcinoma of the lung. Never indulged in smoking. Gone, like Dad, who passed away a year and a half ago, when you were at your lowest point. You’ve reached a new low, where you feel scared, perplexed, and incredibly depressed. However! The good news is that this is the bottom. You’re heading straight up, which is the only direction there is.
How motivating is Will Reeve, a young man?
Even though he lost both of his parents when he was quite young, he honors their memories every day with his accomplishments and attitude.
I’m sure his parents were quite proud of the progress this young man has made. He truly is an inspiration.
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