Parenting isn’t just a full-time job, it’s also often a comedy special you didn’t sign up for. From grocery store tantrums to kids with snappy comebacks, these hilarious moments prove kids and their parents are the ultimate jokesters!
The Case of the Missing Ladle
John, a well-to-do bachelor, invited his mother over for dinner one night. During the meal, the mum couldn’t help but notice how attractive her son’s housekeeper was and wondered if there was more going on than meets the eye.
A housekeeper | Source: Pexels
John sensing what his mother was thinking said to her: “I know what you’re thinking, mum, but I assure you my relationship with the housekeeper is purely professional.”
A week later, the housekeeper told John that ever since his mother’s visit a silver gravy ladle has been missing. John sent his mother a note that said: “Mom, I’m not saying you did take the gravy ladle, and I’m not saying you didn’t, but the fact remains one has been missing since you were here.”
A gravy ladle | Source: Midjourney
A few days later he receives a note from his mother. “I’m not saying you’re involved with your housekeeper, and I’m not saying you’re not. But if she were sleeping in her own bed, she would’ve found the ladle by now.”
Mom’s Final Resting Place
A 97-year-old woman sits down with her attorney to discuss her last wishes.
An attorney in his office | Source: Pexels
“I have two requests before I die,” she begins. “First, I want to be cremated.”
The attorney nods respectfully. “Of course, I can arrange that.”
The woman continues, “And second, I’d like my ashes to be scattered over the roof of the Walmart down the road.”
A convenience store | Source: Pexels
The attorney blinks in surprise. “Walmart? Why Walmart?”
The old woman chuckles. “Because that way, I know my daughters will come to see me at least twice a week!”
The Birds, the Bees, and the Backfire
A mom calls her young daughter into the kitchen for “The Talk.”
A mother cooking with her daughter | Source: Pexels
Clearing her throat, she says, “Sweetie, I think it’s time we discussed… you know… sex.”
The daughter smirks and replies, “Alright, Mom! So, what have you heard so far?”
The Whisper Lesson
One evening, a little boy runs into the living room full of guests and shouts, “MOM! I GOTTA PEE!”
A boy shouting | Source: Pexels
Embarrassed, his mom pulls him aside and says, “Sweetie, we don’t say that. Instead, just say you need to whisper if you have to go to the bathroom.”
The next night, he tries it out. “Mom, I need to whisper,” he says quietly, and she takes him to the bathroom, proud of his new manners.
Later, he finds his dad watching TV and says, “Dad, I need to whisper.”
A boy talking to his father | Source: Midjourney
Without looking away from the screen, his dad grins and says, “Alright, buddy — whisper in my ear.”
Secrets Unlocked
A little girl sits in the backseat as her mom drives her to a playdate. Out of the blue, the girl asks, “Mommy, how old are you?”
Her mom sighs and says, “Sweetie, that’s not a polite question to ask someone.”
A serious woman driving | Source: Pexels
The girl thinks for a moment and then asks, “Okay, how much do you weigh?”
Annoyed, the mom responds, “That’s none of your business.”
Not giving up, the little girl asks, “Well, why did you and Daddy get a divorce?”
The mom, now clearly frustrated, snaps, “That’s enough! Stop asking so many personal questions!”
An angry woman driving | Source: Midjourney
Later that day, the little girl is telling her friend about the conversation. Her friend then tells her, “Just go and look at her driving license! It’s like a report card.”
The next day, the girl proudly announces to her mother, “I figured out everything about you, Mommy! I looked at your driver’s license. You’re 35, weigh 145 pounds, and you and Daddy got a divorce because you got an ‘F’ in sex!”
A smiling little girl | Source: Pexels
God Will Provide… Apparently
A young woman brings her fiancé home to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother suggests that her father get to know the young man better, so the father invites him to his study for a drink.
The father begins, “So, what are your plans for the future?”
A family dinner | Source: Pexels
The fiancé replies confidently, “I’m a scholar, sir.”
The father nods, then asks, “That’s admirable, but how will you provide a nice home for my daughter?”
The fiancé smiles. “I will study hard, sir, and God will provide.”
“And what about a beautiful engagement ring?” the father presses.
An engagement ring | Source: Pexels
“I will focus on my studies, and God will provide,” the fiancé repeats.
The father narrows his eyes. “And children? How will you support them?”
“Don’t worry, sir. God will provide.”
Later, the mother asks her husband how the conversation went.
A mature couple talking | Source: Pexels
He sighs and says, “The boy has no job, no plans, and worst of all, he thinks I’m God.”
Missy’s Grocery Store Adventure
A man notices a woman with a three-year-old in her shopping cart.
In the cookie aisle, the little girl screams for cookies. The mom calmly says, “Now, Missy, we’re almost done. Don’t make a fuss.”
A woman with a child in a store | Source: Pexels
In the candy section, the girl starts whining. The mom replies gently, “There, there, Missy. Just two more aisles, and we’ll be checking out.”
At the checkout line, the girl howls for gum. The mom reassures, “Missy, we’ll be home soon for a bottle and a nap.”
Impressed by her patience, the man compliments her in the parking lot. “I admire how calm you stayed with little Missy,” he says.
A man talking to a woman in a store | Source: Midjourney
The woman smiles tiredly. “Oh, no, my daughter’s name is Francine. I’m Missy.”
Family Secrets Unveiled
A son excitedly tells his dad, “Dad, I’m getting married!”
The dad smiles. “That’s great news! Who’s the lucky girl?”
“It’s Sally, the girl next door!” the son replies.
A happy smiling man | Source: Pexels
The dad’s face falls. “Son, I need to tell you something. Years ago, I made a mistake… Sally is your sister.”
Shocked, the son says, “Okay, then I’ll marry Katie, my old high school friend.”
The dad shakes his head. “I’m sorry, son, but Katie is also your sister.”
A smiling mature man | Source: Pexels
Frustrated, the son storms into the kitchen, where his mom is sitting. Having overheard the commotion, she looks up and says, “Marry whoever you want, dear! He’s not your real father anyway!”
Mom Always Knows
A young man says to his mom, “Mom, tonight I’m bringing over three girls. One of them is the one I want to marry. Let’s see if you can figure out which one it is.”
A man talking on his phone | Source: Pexels
That evening, the three girls come over for dinner. After they leave, the son asks, “So, Mom, which one do you think it is?”
Without hesitation, she replies, “It’s the one who sat in the middle.”
Amazed, he asks, “Wow, you’re right! How did you know?”
An excited smiling man | Source: Pexels
She smirks and says, “Because she’s already annoying me.”
Counting Lessons
A kid comes home from school with a black eye. His mom gasps and says, “Didn’t I tell you to be smart and count to a hundred before getting into a fight?”
The kid sighs and replies, “I did, Mom! But while I was counting to a hundred like you said, Billy punched me in the face. His parents only told him to count to fifty!”
A smiling small boy | Source: Pexels
Pantry Predicament
Mom says, “Tom, this morning I left two pieces of cake in the pantry, and now there’s only one. Can you explain that?”
Tom replies, “Well, Mom, it was really dark in there… I didn’t see the second piece!”
A chocolate cake | Source: Pexels
Parenting Logic
My 8-year-old was fighting with her sisters, so I asked, “All right, who started it?”
Without missing a beat, she replied, “You did — when you decided to have so many kids.”
An angry young girl | Source: Pexels
If you liked this, here’s some more jokes to tickle you blue:
7 Jokes with the Most Unexpected Plot Twists
Laughter is the best way to brighten your day, and we’ve got seven hilarious jokes that are sure to do just that! From marriage counseling gone wrong to jaw-dropping family secrets, these stories will have you laughing out loud. Get ready for a fun ride full of surprises!
Who doesn’t love a good laugh? Whether you’ve had a rough day or just need a little pick-me-up, we’ve got you covered.
A group of friends laughing | Source: Pexels
These jokes are guaranteed to brighten your mood. From husbands with some wild misunderstandings to surprising family twists, there’s something here for everyone.
Ready? Let’s dive into the fun!
Marriage Counseling with a Twist
After 30 years of marriage, a husband and wife sit in front of a therapist. The wife starts in on a long list of grievances: “He doesn’t listen to me, he’s distant, we haven’t been close in ages. I feel neglected, lonely, unloved…”
A couple in therapy | Source: Pexels
She keeps going and going, pouring out years of frustration. Finally, the therapist stands up, walks around his desk, and approaches the wife.
He asks her to stand and proceeds to lean in and give her a long, passionate kiss. The husband looks on in surprise, and the wife? She’s left completely speechless by the intensity of their therapist’s kiss.
A shocked woman | Source: Pexels
The therapist turns to the husband and says, “Your wife needs this at least three times a week if you’re serious about saving your marriage. Can you manage that?”
Wanna read the rest of the joke?
After Mom’s Death, Son Kicks Stepdad Out of the House & Posh Car Stops in Front of the Old Man — Story of the Day
A man is abandoned by the stepson he raised as his own after his wife died, and is unexpectedly rescued by a kind young man.
Do you believe in karma? Bob didn’t. He lived his life and made his decisions with no thought for anyone except himself. What he wanted was what was right, no matter the cost to everyone else.
Bob never imagined that his attitude would reverberate down the years until he found himself standing by the side of a lonely road watching his only family drive away, leaving him alone, abandoned.
Bob was stunned when his stepson turned him out like a stray dog | Source: Shutterstock.com
The man driving away from Bob was Sam, his stepson, the boy he’d raised as his own and loved with all his heart from the time he was five years old. Back then, Bob had been on the verge of marriage when he’d met Sam’s mother, Adele.
Adele had been beautiful, charming, exciting, and Bob had walked out on his fiancée without an explanation. He left his old life behind like a dirty shirt and married the wealthy Adele.
For thirty years Bob and Adele had been happy. They traveled around the world living a life of luxury in the inheritance she had received on the death of her wealthy old husband — Sam’s father.
Bob thought they had been a happy family until Adele had become very ill. Unfortunately, not all the money in the world could save her from the terrible cancer that burned through her frail body.
Selfish Bob had walked away from his fiancée to marry a rich woman with a child | Source: Pexels
When they lowered Adele’s coffin into the ground, Bob had stood by the graveside, shaking. “My love,” he whispered, “I will never forget you, never! And I promise you I will look after Sam.”
But unfortunately for Bob, Sam had made no such promises. A few days after Adele’s death, her lawyer called Bob and Sam and explained that she hadn’t left a will, and the estate would be in Sam’s hands provisionally.
Be careful of the examples you give the young because they will surely follow them.
“Until we can ascertain Bob’s rights, Sam,” the lawyer explained. “Since the bulk of the estate was left by your father…”
Sam had smiled. “Of course…That seems very fair to me, and Bob, you can be sure I’ll be fair.” Bob smiled and thanked Sam for his kindness, never imagining the true intention behind his words.
Bob raised Adele’s son as if he were his own | Source: Unsplash
That weekend, Sam invited Bob to go for a drive out in the country to get some fresh air. “Bob,” he said. “We need to get rid of the cobwebs before we can start a new life!”
The two had driven off in Sam’s convertible and Bob had noticed that his stepson was uncharacteristically quiet, even though he smiled a lot, and looked amused.
When they were outside the city limits, Sam stopped the car. “Get out,” he said. “Get out now.”
“Sam?” asked Bob, bewildered. “What’s going on?”
When Adele passed away, Bob was devastated | Source: Pexels
“As I told you, I’m getting rid of the cobwebs, starting a new life,” Sam said with a nasty little smile. “And you’re dead weight, old man.”
“But…I promised your mother I’d look out for you…” Bob gasped.
“But I never made her any promises,” his stepson said. “I don’t owe YOU anything. You lived off her for thirty years, that’s long enough, don’t you think?”
“I love you!” whispered Bob with tears in his eyes. “You were like a son to me, I thought you cared for me!”
“Care?” asked Sam. “What I care about is all that money and I’m not about to share it with you. It’s MY money, old man, so get lost!”
His stepson Sam seemed very supportive, but after the funeral, Bob was in for a surprise | Source: Unsplash
Sam made a threatening gesture and Bob stumbled out of the car trembling. He stood and watched as Sam’s car vanished in a dwindling cloud of dust.
He looked around. The emptiness stretched out in all directions from horizon to horizon, and he had nothing except his walking stick. He started wobbling after Sam’s car, thinking that sooner or later he’d come across a house, or be overtaken by another vehicle.
Surely someone would be kind enough to stop for an old man? But car after car sped by, and no one stopped. After a while, Bob stopped trying to flag them down. He just stopped where he was.
The sun was going down and it was getting very cold when a large expensive-looking car stopped next to him. “Sir,” asked a kindly voice. “Are you alright?”
The lawyer told Sam and Bob that Adele had died without a will | Source: Unsplash
Bob felt tears fill his eyes at the sound of the concern in that stranger’s voice. “No,” he said shakily. “I’ve been abandoned here. Please, if you could take me to the nearest town, a police station? If it’s not too much trouble!”
“Abandoned?” the man sounded shocked. “That’s shocking! Please get in.”
The driver was a young man in his early thirties with a friendly smile and kindly blue eyes. He reminded Bob of someone, but he couldn’t remember who it was. Bob told the man, whose name was Jake Kale his whole story.
Jake was indignant, and when he saw that Bob was shaking from the cold, he decided to take him home. “I’ll take you to the police tomorrow morning, Bob,” he said. “Tonight you get warm and have a good meal and a restful sleep.”
Sam invited Bob to go for a drive | Source: Unsplash
Jake led Bob into a lovely cozy home and introduced him to his wife Angela and his daughter Faye. “My mother is joining us for dinner, Bob,” Jake said. As he was speaking, a cheerful voice called out a greeting and a sweet-faced woman in her sixties walked in.
She had Jake’s eyes, Bob noticed, and once again he had the eery feeling that he knew her from somewhere, but where? Bob was stunned when the woman turned and saw him standing there. She cried out, and Jake had to grab her before she fell.
“Mom!” Jake cried, “Are you OK?”
“That man…” gasped Peggy Kale. “Bob…It’s you!”
“It’s MY money, old man, so get lost!” | Source: Unsplash
“I’m Bob,” said Bob bewildered, “But how did you know?” Then he saw the years fall away from that sweet face. “Peggy! After all these years!”
“How did you get here? How did you find us?” Peggy asked.
Bob shook his head. “It was Jake who found me, rescued me. I was abandoned on the road. He picked me up. He’s your son?”
“Yes,” Peggy said quietly. “My son…and yours.”
A kind man driving by stopped and took Bob home | Source: Unsplash
“Mine?” whispered Bob. “You were pregnant? You didn’t tell me!”
“You walked away a week before our wedding,” Peggy said. “I didn’t know then — and later it didn’t seem to matter. You didn’t want me, and I wasn’t going to use my baby to pressure you.”
Bob lowered his head and cried bitter tears. “I raised Adele’s son!” he whispered. “You knew that?”
And as Peggy nodded, Bob continued bitterly: “It was Adele’s boy — whom I thought was my boy, who abandoned me by the side of the road like a stray dog.”
Jake’s mother was the fiancée Bob had abandoned | Source: Pexels
Peggy smiled. “And it was my son who saved you…Think about that, Bob!”
Bob did. He spent the night tossing and turning, thinking about the choices he’d made, the examples he’d given Sam. He’d raised a selfish, grasping, dishonest man, and Peggy had raised a good, generous one.
The next day, Jake took Bob to a police station and lodged a complaint against Sam. Jake got Bob a good lawyer and the courts awarded Bob half of Adele’s substantial estate.
Shortly after the court’s decision, Bob signed over every cent to his son Jake, and to his granddaughter. He begged Peggy’s forgiveness and he is now working hard at making it up to his son and his ex-fiancée.
Bob found the family he didn’t know he had | Source: Unsplash
What can we learn from this story?
- Be careful of the examples you give the young because they will surely follow them. Bob was a selfish man, and that was the example he gave his stepson.
- Fate will bring you face to face with your greatest mistakes so you can make amends. The man who rescued Bob was his biological son whom he had apparently abandoned before he was born.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
If you enjoyed this story, you might like this one about a woman who is shocked when she sees a homeless stranger wearing the pendant she’d buried with her fiancé after his death in a car crash.
This account is inspired by our reader’s story and written by a professional writer. Any resemblance to actual names or locations is purely coincidental. All images are for illustration purposes only. Share your story with us; maybe it will change someone’s life.
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