You think you’re entering a dream when you marry the person you love. But that dream can quickly become a nightmare when you receive a list of rules about how to be a “good wife.” This is where my revenge started.
As a child, I always imagined that marriage would be different. I pictured Sunday mornings in bed, sharing laughs and secrets, and a partnership based on love and respect. But reality has a strange way of surprising you.
Dan and I had just gotten married. The wedding was perfect—small, intimate, everything I had always dreamed of. For a while, it felt like a fairy tale. Dan was kind and funny, and I truly believed we shared the same ideas about how we wanted to live our lives together. That was until Karen, his mother, gave me a gift after the ceremony.
I remember standing in our living room, still feeling happy from the wedding, when Karen came up to me with her “special” present.
“This is for you, Lucia. A little something to help you as you start your new role.” She handed me a fancy box with a big smile, but her eyes didn’t match her cheerful expression.
Inside the box was a neatly folded piece of paper. When I opened it, my mouth dropped. At the top, in bold letters, it said: “How to Be a Good Wife for My Son.”
At first, I laughed, thinking it was a joke. Maybe Karen was making fun of those old-fashioned ideas about marriage.
But as I kept reading, my smile faded. It was a real list—actual rules I was supposed to follow as Dan’s wife.
I looked at Dan, hoping he’d be as shocked as I was, but he was busy opening his own gift. A check. A big one, too. And me? I got a rulebook.
Later that evening, Dan came to me with a sheepish grin. “You got the rules my mom gave you, didn’t you?” he asked, as if it were just a casual suggestion, not a guide for a life of serving him.
“Yep… I did,” I replied, trying to keep the sarcasm out of my voice but not succeeding.
Dan shifted awkwardly and scratched the back of his neck. “Well, you know, that’s just how it is now. Marriage is different from dating.”
I stared at him, waiting for him to smile, to say it was all a joke. But he didn’t.
“Wait… You’re serious?” I asked, looking at him like I didn’t recognize the man I had just married.
He shrugged. “It’s just how things are. Mom says it’s important to keep order, you know?”
I bit my lip, holding back a sharp reply. Keep order. That’s how they saw me now?
After Dan fell asleep, I read through the list again, my hands shaking with anger. I couldn’t believe the nerve.
At 6 a.m., I had to be fully dressed and made up, cooking a hot breakfast for Dan. No veggies, no milk, no butter—he only likes plain eggs and toast. The toast must be perfectly golden brown, and it has to be served on a blue plate because the green one ruins his appetite.
Do all the grocery shopping myself. Dan hates shopping, and it’s no place for a man. Always buy his favorite beer, but not too much—just enough for football nights, but not so much he gets lazy. And I had to carry everything in myself because it’s unladylike to ask for help.
After dinner, the kitchen had to be spotless before Dan even left the dining room. Men shouldn’t see a mess; they must enter a clean space. And always stack the plates by size, wiping the counters twice because Dan hates crumbs.
Dress conservatively when Dan’s friends come over. We don’t want them thinking I’m too “modern” or that I’m not the “right kind of wife.” A good wife never wears anything above the knee, and the neckline should always be high. Anything else would embarrass Dan in front of his buddies.
Make sure Dan never does his laundry. A good wife always has fresh, ironed clothes ready, and socks folded just right—three folds, not two—because that’s how Dan likes them. He should never have to pick out mismatched socks or wear a wrinkled shirt. It reflects poorly on me if he does.
By the time I finished reading, I was furious. This wasn’t just outdated advice; it was a full-on expectation that I cater to Dan’s every wish like I had no other purpose.
And the worst part? Dan was okay with it. He hadn’t even reacted when I mentioned the rules.
I felt trapped, but I wasn’t going to let them get away with this. If they wanted to play this game, I’d play along, but on my terms.
The morning after I read Karen’s list, I woke up at 6 a.m., just like the rules said. I got out of bed, put on my makeup, and slipped into a nice dress.
I looked at myself in the mirror, quietly laughing at how silly this all was. But if Karen wanted me to play this part, I would—just with a twist.
I went downstairs and made breakfast, just like the rules said: plain toast and eggs. But I didn’t stop there. I took the tiniest slice of toast and a plain boiled egg and put them on Dan’s huge blue plate. The plate was so big that the small meal looked ridiculous.
I carefully set it on the table, smiling sweetly as Dan walked into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes.
He looked at the plate, confused. “Isn’t there… anything else?”
I shook my head, smiling brightly. “Just following the rules. Plain eggs and toast! Want me to make another slice?”
Dan sighed, picking up the toast. “No… this is fine.”
I stood there watching him eat the driest breakfast ever, trying not to laugh. Oh, this was going to be entertaining.
Later that afternoon, I made a big show of going to the grocery store. I took my reusable bags and left the house, making sure Dan saw me go by myself, just like the rules said.
When I got back, I carried in all the bags myself, even the heavy ones. Dan watched from the couch, clearly uncomfortable but saying nothing. As I unpacked, he frowned.
“Where’s the beer? Did you forget it?” he asked.
“Oh no, I didn’t forget,” I said cheerfully. “I just didn’t want you getting lazy. Besides, sparkling water is good for you!”
I pulled out a six-pack of sparkling water, a big bottle of green juice, and some quinoa, knowing he wouldn’t touch any of them. Dan’s eyes narrowed, but he didn’t say anything. I could see he was starting to realize something was off, but I was just getting started.
After dinner, I followed the other rules in the letter. I wiped down the counters, washed the dishes, and cleaned the kitchen—but not really.
Instead of putting everything back where it belonged, I rearranged the whole kitchen. Plates went in the bathroom cupboard, utensils in the laundry room, and the toaster? I put that in the hall closet.
Dan came into the kitchen, looking around in confusion. “Why is everything all over the place?”
I turned to him with a worried look. “I’m doing my best! Maybe I need to wipe the counters three times instead of two?”
He blinked at me, totally confused, but he let it go. The fun was just beginning.
When Dan’s friends came over for football night a few days later, I made sure to follow Karen’s rule about dressing modestly. I dug through my closet and found the most old-fashioned outfit I could: a long skirt, high-collared blouse, and a buttoned-up cardigan that looked like something from the 1800s.
As soon as Dan’s friends arrived, I walked into the living room with a tray of snacks. His friends looked me up and down, confused but polite enough not to say anything.
Dan pulled me aside as soon as he could, whispering, “You know you don’t have to dress like that, right?”
I widened my eyes innocently. “But your mom said I have to dress modestly. We wouldn’t want them getting the wrong idea about me, would we?”
Dan’s friends exchanged awkward glances, but I kept smiling sweetly. The look on Dan’s face was priceless; he was starting to see that I was flipping this whole “good wife” idea upside down, and he was stuck going along with it.
Laundry day came, and I followed the rules again, but with a twist. I washed all of Dan’s clothes together: whites, darks, colors—everything went in one load. When I pulled them out, his once-clean shirts were now a lovely shade of pink, and his socks were either shrunk or mismatched.
Dan opened his drawer the next morning, pulling out one wrinkled pink shirt after another. “What happened to my clothes? These socks don’t even match!”
I walked in with an apologetic look. “Oh no! I must’ve messed up. I’ll try folding them in threes next time, just like the rules say.”
He groaned, putting on his mismatched socks before heading to work, completely defeated. I couldn’t help but smile.
By the end of the week, Dan had had enough. He was trying to eat yet another bland breakfast when Karen arrived, her usual smile on her face. She sat at the table, looking pleased.
“Lucia, I’m so glad to see you following the rules! Isn’t life easier now?”
I laughed quietly. “Oh, Karen, you have no idea.”
Dan slammed his fork down, surprising both of us. “Mom, we need to talk.”
Karen blinked, confused. “Talk about what?”
“These rules… they’re crazy,” Dan said, his voice rising. “I’m miserable, Lucia’s miserable, and this isn’t how we’re going to live.”
Karen looked shocked. “But, Dan, I just want to make sure you’re taken care of! I thought this was how marriage should be!”
Dan shot me a glance, and I shrugged. I was just following the rules, right?
“We need to find our own way,” he said, shaking his head. “You’re my wife, not my maid.”
Karen’s face fell, her smile fading. “I was just trying to help. I didn’t mean to upset you both…”
But it was too late. The damage was done. We spent the next few days talking about what we wanted our marriage to look like, finally finding a balance between his mom’s outdated ideas and our modern life.
The change didn’t happen overnight, but eventually, we found a way to laugh about the whole ordeal, especially when Dan had to explain to his mom why he was now making breakfast for me on Saturdays.
Karen never brought up the rules again, and I made sure to return the fancy box she gave me, filled with the crumpled paper and an assortment of mismatched socks. I told her I didn’t need them anymore.
Looking back, I can’t help but think that her gift, while ridiculous, actually brought us closer together. Dan and I learned how to communicate better, and we established what we wanted from our marriage without anyone else’s rules getting in the way.
What’s fair in this case?
Moving in together is a big step in any relationship. It symbolizes commitment, partnership, and the exciting journey of sharing a home. But let’s be honest—living together also comes with financial realities that can’t be ignored. One of the most common dilemmas couples face is how to fairly split rent when income levels are unequal.
Consider this scenario: A man earns $65,000 per year, while his partner earns $33,000 per year. Together, they are renting an apartment for $2,000 per month. Should they split the rent 50/50, or is there a better way to handle it?
Let’s dive into the different approaches and find the fairest way to split rent without creating financial strain or resentment in the relationship.
Assessing Income Disparities in Cohabiting Couples
It’s rare for couples to earn the exact same income, and when one person earns significantly more, a strict 50/50 split may not be the best solution.
A 50/50 division might feel fair on paper, but in practice, it could financially strain the lower-earning partner, making them struggle to cover other essential expenses like groceries, utilities, and savings.
Instead of treating rent like a simple split, it’s important to evaluate each person’s income, debts, and financial responsibilities to find a balance that respects both partners’ financial health.
Method 1: Splitting Rent Based on Income Proportion
One of the fairest ways to split rent when incomes are unequal is by dividing it proportionally based on each partner’s earnings.
In this case:
- The man earns $65,000 annually, which is 66% of the total income.
- The woman earns $33,000, which is 34% of the total income.
- Applying these percentages to the $2,000 rent:
- The man would pay $1,320 (66%)
- The woman would pay $680 (34%)
This method ensures that both partners contribute relative to what they can afford, preventing financial strain on the lower-income partner.
Video : What rights do cohabiting couples have?
Method 2: Using a Fixed Percentage of Income for Rent
Another approach is for both partners to contribute the same percentage of their individual income towards rent.
For example, if they agree to allocate 30% of their income to rent:
- The man would pay $1,625 per month (30% of his $65,000 annual income divided by 12).
- The woman would pay $825 per month (30% of her $33,000 annual income divided by 12).
This approach ensures that both individuals spend the same proportion of their income on housing, making it fairer and more sustainable.
Method 3: Balancing Costs with Other Household Expenses
Sometimes, splitting rent isn’t just about the rent itself. Couples can balance their financial contributions by dividing other household costs differently.
For example:
- If they split rent equally, the lower-income partner can contribute more towards groceries, utilities, and household chores to compensate for the difference.
- Alternatively, the higher-earning partner can take on larger financial responsibilities, such as paying for furniture, car payments, or entertainment expenses.
This method works best when both partners agree on what feels fair and sustainable in the long run.
The Key to Success: Open and Honest Communication
Money can be a touchy subject, but avoiding financial discussions leads to misunderstandings, stress, and resentment. To create a successful co-living arrangement:
- Have an open conversation about finances before moving in together.
- Discuss income, debts, savings goals, and spending habits to ensure transparency.
- Agree on a financial plan that works for both partners—whether that means proportional rent, shared expenses, or a mix of both.
- Revisit and adjust the agreement as incomes and financial situations change over time.
The goal isn’t just to split rent fairly—it’s to build trust and financial harmony in the relationship.
Other Shared Expenses: What Else Needs to Be Considered?
Rent isn’t the only financial commitment when living together. Couples should also plan for:
- Utilities (electricity, water, internet)
- Groceries and dining out
- Car payments or transportation costs
- Streaming services, gym memberships, and subscriptions
- Savings for vacations or emergencies
A simple budgeting plan that includes all shared expenses helps both partners contribute fairly while ensuring financial stability.
Financial Stress and Relationship Strain: How to Avoid Conflict
Money is one of the top reasons couples argue, especially when income disparities exist. Here’s how to avoid unnecessary stress:
- Set Clear Expectations – Before moving in, agree on how to divide rent and expenses in a way that feels fair to both.
- Avoid Keeping Score – Instead of focusing on exact numbers, consider overall contributions to the household. One partner may contribute more financially, while the other handles more household responsibilities.
- Be Flexible – Financial situations change. One partner may get a raise, lose a job, or take on unexpected expenses. Be willing to adjust contributions as needed.
- Respect Each Other’s Financial Goals – If one person is saving aggressively for the future, while the other prefers a more relaxed spending approach, find a middle ground that supports both perspectives.
Legal Considerations for Cohabiting Couples
Even though cohabiting partners aren’t legally married, financial responsibilities can still have legal implications. It’s a good idea to:
- Put both names on the lease to ensure equal housing rights.
- Consider a cohabitation agreement outlining rent payments and shared financial responsibilities.
- Discuss property ownership if purchasing a home together in the future.
Legal planning might seem unnecessary, but it can prevent potential conflicts or misunderstandings down the line.
Video : The Secret to Financial Success as a Couple…
Conclusion: The Best Approach Is One That Works for Both Partners
There’s no one-size-fits-all rule when it comes to splitting rent as a couple. The most important thing is to find a method that feels fair, manageable, and sustainable for both partners.
Whether you divide rent proportionally, set a fixed percentage of income, or balance expenses in other ways, the key to success is open communication, mutual respect, and financial transparency.
Living together is about building a future—not just sharing a space. By handling financial discussions with maturity and fairness, couples can create a harmonious and stress-free home environment.
How do you and your partner handle rent and expenses? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
Leave a Reply