When my grieving daughter called, sobbing that her stepsisters made her sleep on the floor the night of her mother’s funeral, my heart broke. With no support from my wife, I took matters into my own hands.
Blending families was never easy. After eight years of marriage to Candace, I thought we’d figured it out.
A happy family with kids | Source: Pexels
My daughter, Shiloh, is 16. She’s quiet and thoughtful, always preferring a book or a sketchpad to the chaos of her stepsisters, Anna, 19, and Sophie, 17.
Anna and Sophie, on the other hand, are the life of the party. Over the years, I’ve watched Shiloh try to fit in, but she’s always been the outsider.
A sas girl in her bedroom | Source: Pexels
Candace assured me it was normal sibling dynamics, but there were moments that felt like more than that. I’d catch Shiloh retreating to her room with her lips pressed together in that tight way she has when she’s holding back tears after a comment from Anna or Sophie.
Then, last week, the unthinkable happened.
A crying girl covering her face with her hands | Source: Midjourney
Shiloh’s mother, my ex-wife, passed away unexpectedly. I was away on a business trip, and the call left me stunned. My mind raced through disbelief, grief, and worry for my daughter. She was incredibly close to her mom. This would shatter her.
I left immediately, driving through the night to get to her. Candace offered to take the girls ahead, and while I was grateful, something about the hotel arrangements left me uneasy.
A thoughtful man outside | Source: Pexels
Two rooms — one for Candace and me and one for the girls. “It’ll keep the peace,” Candace had said, brushing off my concerns. I trusted her to handle it, but a knot of doubt had settled in my chest.
I was halfway through my drive when my phone buzzed. It was Shiloh.
“Hey, sweetheart,” I said, my voice soft.
A man looking at his phone while driving | Source: Midjourney
She didn’t answer right away. When she finally spoke, her voice was small and shaky. “Dad… I’m sleeping on the floor.”
I blinked, gripping the steering wheel tighter. “What? Why?”
“Anna and Sophie said the bed’s too small for three people,” she mumbled. “They told me it’d be better if I slept on the floor.”
A crying girl sitting on the floor | Source: Pexels
I felt my jaw tighten. “Did you tell Candace?”
“She said it’s just for one night and to let it go,” Shiloh said, her voice cracking. “It’s fine, Dad. I didn’t want to make a big deal.”
I could hear the tears in her voice, and it broke something inside me. “No, honey,” I said, my voice firm. “It’s not fine. You shouldn’t have to do this.”
A shocked man in his car | Source: Midjourney
I pulled the car onto the shoulder of the road and ran a hand through my hair, trying to calm the anger that was building.
“Listen to me,” I said. “You’ve done nothing wrong, okay? This isn’t about making a big deal — it’s about what’s fair. You don’t deserve this, especially not now.”
Her sniffles on the other end of the line made my chest tighten.
A crying young woman | Source: Pexels
“Dad,” she said quietly, “it’s okay. I don’t want to fight with them.”
“Sweetheart,” I said, forcing my voice to stay calm, “you just lost your mom. The last thing you need is to feel like this.”
When I hung up, I didn’t hesitate. I called Candace immediately. She picked up quickly, her tone light.
“Hi, honey! Still on the road?”
A woman on her phone | Source: Pexels
“What’s going on over there, Candace?” I said, skipping any pleasantries.
There was a pause. “What do you mean?”
“Shiloh just called me. She’s crying because Anna and Sophie made her sleep on the floor. Why didn’t you step in?”
Candace sighed. “The girls said the bed was too cramped. It’s just one night, Robert. She’ll be fine.”
An annoyed woman talking on her phone | Source: Midjourney
“She’s not fine,” I snapped. “She’s grieving, Candace. And now she’s being pushed onto the floor like she doesn’t matter?”
“She’s not being pushed!” Candace shot back. “They’re just trying to be comfortable. I don’t see the problem here.”
“The problem,” I said, my voice rising, “is that Shiloh is there all by herself, and instead of supporting her, you’re letting her feel like an outsider. How can you be okay with this?”
An angry man talking on his phone | Source: Midjourney
Candace’s tone grew sharper. “What do you expect me to do, Robert? Force Anna and Sophie onto the floor? They’re kids too! This isn’t easy for them either.”
“They didn’t just lose a parent!” I snapped. “Shiloh is trying to hold herself together, and instead of making things easier for her, you’re brushing it off like it’s nothing!”
Candace let out a frustrated sigh. “You’re blowing this out of proportion. It’s one night. Shiloh can handle it.”
A frustrated woman talking on her phone | Source: Midjourney
I felt a bitter laugh escape my throat. “This isn’t about handling anything. It’s about showing her that she’s not alone. How do you not see how important this is?”
I was still hours away when my phone buzzed again. Candace’s name lit up the screen, and I braced myself as I answered.
“What did you do, Robert?” she demanded, her voice low but furious.
An angry woman talking on her phone | Source: Midjourney
“What I had to,” I said flatly, gripping the wheel. “Shiloh called me crying because Anna and Sophie made her sleep on the floor. You brushed her off, so I called the hotel manager, booked her another room, and asked them to escort her there.”
“You booked her a private room?” she snapped. “Without even talking to me?”
A smiling man talking on his phone | Source: Midjourney
“I didn’t have time to talk, Candace,” I said, my voice tightening. “You made excuses instead of standing up for my daughter. I had to act.”
“She could have handled one night, Robert!” Candace said, her tone sharp. “Do you realize what you’ve done? Anna and Sophie are furious. They think you’re playing favorites.”
An angry woman talking on her phone in a hotel room | Source: Midjourney
“Playing favorites?” I repeated, anger flaring. “This isn’t about favorites. Shiloh is living through possibly the worst moment of her life, Candace. She doesn’t need a lesson in ‘toughing it out’ right now. She needs support.”
“You’re undermining me,” she shot back. “Do you know how this looks? I’m supposed to be in charge while you’re away, and you went behind my back to fix something that wasn’t even that big of a deal!”
An angry man talking on his phone in his car | Source: Midjourney
“It was a big deal,” I countered. “Shiloh deserved better, and no one stood up for her — not even you. How do you think that makes her feel?”
When I arrived at the hotel early the next morning, the tension was already simmering. I walked into the lobby and called Candace to let her know I was there.
“She’s in her new room,” Candace said curtly. “Anna and Sophie are upset, and I don’t know how you’re planning to fix this.”
A couple having a serious talk in a hotel room | Source: Midjourney
“Candace, this isn’t about fixing their feelings,” I said. “It’s about doing the right thing.”
The heated argument continued after I left the funeral preparations that morning.
“Anna and Sophie won’t even look at you,” Candace said. “They feel like you’ve chosen Shiloh over them. This could ruin everything we’ve built.”
“Built?” I said, incredulous. “Candace, if what we’ve built can’t survive me standing up for my grieving daughter, maybe it wasn’t as strong as you think.”
An angry man talking in a hotel room | Source: Midjourney
“That’s unfair,” she said quietly, but her voice lacked conviction.
“What’s unfair is how you let her be treated,” I said, my frustration boiling over. “She’s a kid who just lost her mom, Candace. I expected you to show some compassion. Instead, you treated her like an inconvenience.”
“I care about Shiloh,” she insisted.
An offended woman with her arms crossed | Source: Freepik
“Then why didn’t you act like it?” I asked, my voice softening but still firm.
At the funeral, I stayed close to Shiloh. She clung to my arm, her head bowed low, her face pale with grief. The service was heartbreaking, but I couldn’t take my eyes off her.
Her hands trembled as she wiped at her tears, and my heart ached watching her hold it all in. When the service ended, she turned to me and whispered, “Thank you for everything, Dad.”
A black and white photo of a crying girl | Source: Pexels
Her words were simple, but they meant everything.
Once we were back home, I sat Candace down for a serious conversation.
“We need to talk,” I said.
“Robert, I’m tired of rehashing this,” she replied, crossing her arms.
An angry woman sitting on the couch | Source: Midjourney
“Candace, this isn’t about arguing,” I said firmly. “It’s about making sure this never happens again. Shiloh needs us — needs you — to be better. She’s already lost her mother. She shouldn’t feel like she’s losing her place in this family too.”
Candace sighed, looking away. “I didn’t handle it right,” she admitted quietly. “But you made me feel like I don’t have a say.”
A serious man in his living room | Source: Midjourney
“You always have a say,” I replied gently. “But when it comes to Shiloh, I won’t compromise on making sure she feels loved and safe. I hope you can understand that.”
Candace nodded reluctantly. “I’ll try to do better,” she said, though her tone held a trace of resentment.
Later that evening, Shiloh hugged me tightly. “Thank you for standing up for me, Dad,” she whispered.
A father hugging his daughter | Source: Midjourney
I held her close, realizing that I’d made the right choice. From now on, I resolved to set clearer boundaries, ensuring that Shiloh always felt supported, no matter what it cost me.
There’s One Method of Healing Trauma That Prince Harry Uses, and Here’s How to Practice It
Prince Harry recently opened up about his journey with post-traumatic stress disorder following the loss of his mother, Princess Diana. In a candid discussion, he revealed his exploration of a groundbreaking therapy that helped him.
The therapy is called eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) to address the debilitating effects of his anxiety attacks. This revelation offers a glimpse into the royal’s personal struggles and his proactive approach towards mental health care, shedding light on the significance of seeking innovative treatments of traumas.
In a video, Prince Harry can be seen undergoing EMDR therapy, where he taps his shoulders and moves his eyes rapidly. This therapy is relatively new and is used to treat PTSD. Prince Harry shared that he decided to try EMDR to deal with severe anxiety attacks he was experiencing.
Prince Harry mentioned that he was open to trying EMDR because of the therapy and work he had done over the years.
During a therapy session with UK-based psychotherapist Sanja Oakley, Prince Harry demonstrated how EMDR helped him feel better about returning home. He described feeling scared and helpless before, but the therapy helped him cope with those feelings.
Prince Harry’s openness about his experience with EMDR therapy sheds light on alternative treatments for post-traumatic disorder and mental health struggles. It shows that seeking help and trying different therapies can make a difference in managing mental health conditions.
EMDR is a therapy made in 1987 to help with emotional traumas. It’s a structured therapy where you think about a tough memory while moving your eyes back and forth. This helps lessen the strong feelings tied to the memory.
EMDR works on a theory called Adaptive Information Processing (AIP). It says that trauma sticks around because it hasn’t been dealt with properly. So, when something reminds you of the trauma, those memories can come back strongly.
Unlike other therapies that try to lessen your reaction to trauma, EMDR tries to change how your brain stores those tough memories. Sometimes, instead of eye movements, you might listen to alternating tones. Usually, EMDR happens once or twice a week for about six to 12 sessions. But it can vary depending on the person.
Benefits of EMDR therapy
- EMDR is a structured therapy and usually needs fewer sessions than ongoing therapies.
- You don’t have to keep going back to the tough memory for a long time.
- You don’t have to talk a lot about what happened to you.
- There’s no homework to do.
- EMDR doesn’t try to change your thoughts and beliefs.
Disadvantages of EMDR therapy
- While EMDR is known to help with PTSD, it hasn’t been studied as much for other mood or mental health problems.
- If you’re avoiding talking about a tough event, EMDR might not be the best choice. Other types of talk therapy might work better.
- EMDR can sometimes make you feel worse at the start of treatment. The person who created EMDR warns that this could be dangerous for people who have gone through really tough things.
The process of EMDR
EMDR is a structured process with eight phases, each aimed at helping you deal with traumatic memories:
- History taking: Discuss your past with the therapist to identify which memories to focus on.
- Preparation: Learn about EMDR and how the therapist will use bilateral stimulation.
- Assessment: Identify your negative and positive beliefs related to the trauma.
- Desensitization: Use bilateral stimulation while recalling the memory.
- Installation: Focus on positive beliefs while processing the memory.
- Body scan: Talk about how you feel emotionally and physically.
- Closure: Prepare for what may happen between sessions.
- Reevaluation: Assess your progress and decide if more sessions are needed.
As you go through EMDR, you may start feeling less overwhelmed by the trauma. It’s normal for other painful memories to surface, indicating that suppressed memories are being processed.
When grappling with deep emotional traumas, it’s crucial to seek out specialists who can provide the appropriate form of treatment tailored to your needs. Whether it’s EMDR therapy or other therapeutic approaches, finding the right professional can make a significant difference in your healing journey.
Preview photo credit Good Morning America / YouTube
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