
Ever find yourself needing a quick pick-me-up during a long day? Laughter is the perfect antidote to stress and boredom. This collection of 11 jokes is sure to deliver a healthy dose of humor.
Get ready to chuckle your way through these hilarious jokes about everything from bar buddies to blundering farmers. Whether you’re a fan of witty wordplay or quirky animal antics, there’s something here to tickle everyone’s funny bone.

A duck in a construction worker’s uniform waddling into a bar | Source: Midjourney
1. Drink Down
A guy walks into a bar and orders two shots. He drinks both and leaves. He does the same thing every day for a while.
One day, the bartender asks, “Why do you always order two shots?”
The guy says, “My brother and I used to drink together all the time, but now he lives far away. So, one shot is for me, and one is for him.”

Two brothers laughing while sitting at a bar | Source: Midjourney
This goes on for a while, and then one day the guy only orders one shot.
The bartender worries and asks, “What happened? Is your brother okay?”
The guy replies, “Yeah, he’s fine. I just quit drinking.”

Man looking sad while sitting at a bar | Source: Midjourney
2. Penguin Parade
A police officer stopped a semi-truck driver and asked for his license and registration. The officer heard odd sounds from the trailer and decided to inspect it. He found 50 penguins inside.
“Why are there 50 penguins in your truck?” the officer asked.
“They’re my buddies,” the driver replied. “We enjoy traveling together.”
“You can’t just own 50 penguins,” the officer said. “You need to take them to the zoo.”

Police officer frowning next to a semi-truck holding a notepad | Source: Midjourney
The driver agreed and drove away. The next day, the same officer stopped the same truck and heard the same strange noises. He checked the trailer and found the same 50 penguins.
“I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!” the officer exclaimed.
“I did!” the driver responded. “They had a great time. Today, we’re going to the beach.”

Penguins walking through a regular sunny beach | Source: Midjourney
3. The Plasterer
A duck waddled into a pub and asked for a beer and a ham sandwich.
The bartender stared and said, “Hold on a sec! You’re a duck!”
“That’s pretty obvious,” the duck replied.
“And you talk!” shouted the bartender.
“And you hear well!” the duck said. “Now, about that beer and sandwich?”

A duck in a construction worker’s uniform sitting at a bar eating a sandwich | Source: Midjourney
“Oh, right, sorry,” the bartender said, pouring the duck’s beer. “We don’t get many ducks around here. What brings you in?”
“I’m working at that construction site over there,” the duck explained. “I’m a plasterer.”
The bartender was surprised, but let the duck be when he pulled out a newspaper to read.
The duck read the paper, ate his food, and left. He did this every day for two weeks.

A duck sitting at a bar reading a newspaper | Source: Midjourney
Then, the circus came to town. The circus manager came into the pub, and the bartender said, “Hey, you’re with the circus, right? I know a duck who’d be a star in your show! He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the paper… he’s amazing!”
“Is that right?” the circus manager said, handing the bartender his card. “Tell him to give me a call.”
The next day, when the duck came in, the bartender said, “Hey Mr. Duck, I think I found you a fantastic job that pays really well.”
“I’m always interested in new opportunities,” the duck said. “Where is it?”
“At the circus,” the bartender answered.

A circus in a field | Source: Midjourney
“The circus?” the duck asked.
“Yep,” said the bartender.
“The circus?” the duck asked again. “The one with the big tent?”
“Exactly!” said the bartender.
“With the animals in cages and people living in trailers?” asked the duck.
“That’s the one,” said the bartender.
“And the tent is made of that heavy fabric with a hole at the top?” the duck asked.
“That’s right!” said the bartender.
The duck shook his head and said, “Why would they need a plasterer?”

A duck in a construction worker’s uniform working as a plasterer | Source: Midjourney
4. Slowpoke Centipede
A man saw a sign at a pet store that said, “Talking Centipede $100.” He thought it was cool and bought it. When he got home, he opened the box and asked the centipede if it wanted to grab a beer. The centipede didn’t say anything, so the man thought he got ripped off.
After a while, he tried again. He shouted, “Want to go get a beer?” The centipede popped out of the box and said, “Be quiet! I heard you the first time! I’m putting my shoes on!”

A fairytale version of a centipede talking and putting on shoes inside a box | Source: Midjourney
5. Hell’s Handyman
An engineer died and went to Hell.
The devil was shocked because engineers don’t usually go there. Hell was a mess: the AC was busted, the pool was empty, and everything was broken.
The engineer got to work fixing things. He fixed the AC, filled the pool, and even made the roads better.
God saw that everyone in Hell was having fun, which wasn’t right. He asked the devil what was going on.

A cartoon version of God in Hell looking confused because people are having fun at the pool | Source: Midjourney
The devil said, “That engineer you sent here has been fixing everything. He’s made Hell a nice place!”
God said, “What? Engineers don’t belong in Hell! That was a mistake. Send him back so I can put him in Heaven!”
The devil said, “No way, we like him here.”
God said, “Send him back, or I’ll sue you!”
The devil laughed and said, “Where are you going to find a lawyer?”

A cartoon version of the devil in Hell shrugging with people having fun at the pool | Source: Midjourney
6. The Big-Time Lawyer
Joe left his small town to go to college and law school. He became a lawyer and went back to his hometown because he wanted to be a big deal there.
He opened his own office, but no one came at first. One day, he saw a man walking toward his office. Joe wanted to impress this man, so he pretended to be on the phone.

A man sitting on a desk in a tiny office talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
When the man walked in, Joe started talking loudly on the phone, saying things like, “No way! Tell those guys in New York I want $1 million! I’m going to court next week! My team is the best! We’re going to win for sure! Yeah, the judge already knows I’m right! No, I don’t care what they offer, we’re not backing down!”
He talked like this for a long time while the man waited. Finally, Joe hung up the phone and said to the man, “Sorry I took so long, I’m really busy. What can I do for you?”
The man answered, “I’m here to install your phone line.”

Man in uniform standing by the doorway of an office | Source: Midjourney
7. Chick Magnet
A man from the city moved to the countryside and wanted to try farming. He went to the farm store and said, “I’ll take 100 baby chicks.”
The store worker gave him the chicks.
A week later, the man came back and said, “I need 200 baby chicks this time.” The worker gave him the chicks.
Another week passed, and the man returned. He said, “Give me 500 baby chicks.”
“Wow,” the worker said, “you must be doing great!”

A man dressed as a farmer smiling with small chicks nearby | Source: Midjourney
“Nope,” the man sighed. “I’m either putting them in the ground too deep or too far apart.”
8. Bachelors
Two single guys were chatting, and they started talking about cooking.
“I got a cookbook last year,” the first guy said, “but I couldn’t make anything from it.”
“Was it too hard?” the second guy asked.
“Totally! Every recipe started the same way: ‘Get a clean plate and…'”

A man holding a cookbook in a kitchen with a sink full of dirty plates | Source: Midjourney
9. Copy That?
A new worker was puzzled by the office shredder.
“Want some help?” offered a nearby secretary.
“Yes,” he said, “how do I use this?”
“Easy,” she replied, taking his thick report and putting it in the shredder.
“Thanks,” he smiled, “but what side do the copies come out?”

Man shrugging confused next to a paper shredder in an office hallway | Source: Midjourney
10. Whoa, Amen!
A man got lost in the desert. After wandering for weeks, he found a small house. He was tired and weak, so he crawled to the house and fainted.
The owner of the house, a kind and religious man, found him and helped him get better. When the man felt stronger, he asked for directions to the nearest town.
As he was leaving, he saw a horse. He asked the owner if he could borrow it. The owner agreed but said, “To make the horse go, say ‘Thank God.’ To make it stop, say ‘Amen.'”

A horse drinking water from a puddle next to a small house in a deserted area | Source: Midjourney
The man didn’t really listen and said, “Okay, sure.” He got on the horse and said, “Thank God,” and the horse started walking. He said, “Thank God, thank God,” and the horse started running. Feeling brave, the man shouted, “Thank God, thank God, thank God!” and the horse went even faster.
Suddenly, he saw a cliff ahead. He tried to stop the horse, yelling, “Whoa, stop!” Then he remembered, “Amen!”
The horse stopped right at the edge of the cliff. The man took a deep breath and said, “Thank God.”

Man looking scared riding a horse | Source: Midjourney
11. Nutty Natter
A man went into a bar and ordered a beer. As he was drinking, he heard a voice say, “Nice tie!” He looked around, but he and the bartender were the only ones there. Then the voice said, “I like your shirt!” Confused, the man called the bartender over.
“Am I losing it?” he asked. “I keep hearing voices telling me nice things, but no one else is here.”
“It’s the peanuts,” the bartender answered.
“What?” the man asked.
“The peanuts,” the bartender said again. “They’re complimentary.”

Peanuts in a smiley face bowl on a bar counter | Source: Midjourney
Julia Roberts Gave Birth to Twins at 37 — Pics of Her ‘Beautiful’ Teens Who Look like Her Husband

Julia Roberts, then 37, gave birth to twins.
The mother of three acknowledged that her children resemble Danny Moder, her spouse.
Fans of Moder frequently praise their children’s photos online, saying they are stunning.
Julia Roberts is pleased with her union with Danny Moder and the joy they have shared. The couple makes an effort to keep their marriage quiet and their children out of the spotlight. Henry Moder, 16, and the twins Phinnaeus and Hazel Moder, 18, are Julia and Danny’s three children.
Julia gave birth to two healthy children, Phinneaus and Hazel, at the age of 37. The twins reportedly arrived at a Los Angeles hospital in November 2004 at around three in the morning. Henry, however, was born on June 18, 2007.

On October 10, 2015, Danny Moder and Julia Roberts attended the Bottega Veneta-sponsored Gala in the Garden in Los Angeles. | Source: Getty Images
When Julia was ready, her children selected her to be their steward and shepherd in life. Julia became a mother in her late 30s.
The mother of three admits that she occasionally worries that she will fail as a parent, but she also feels that her children entered her life at a time when she was prepared to be their mother. The actress made sure to spend quality time, tease, and joke with her little children while they were little.

At the Outerknown premiere event in Malibu, California, on August 29, 2015, Danny Moder, Julia Roberts, Kelly Slater, Phinnaeus, Henry Daniel, and Hazel Moder were there. | Source: Getty Images
She once jokingly disclosed that Henry believed that he and his siblings were being discussed when someone mentioned the twins in their family, rather than just Phinnaeus and Hazel.
In addition to enjoying herself with her children, Julia does her hardest to shield them from the negative effects of celebrity. The kids knew their mother was renowned when they were younger, but they never realized how famous she actually was. When her children were in stores, the actress saw that most of the time they would see headlines from tabloids, which made her uneasy.
Even though the tabloid headlines were untrue, Julia was nevertheless affected, especially when they implied that her marriage was dissolving although she was still happily married and raising her children. Julia and Danny moved from Los Angeles because they wanted to raise their children away from the spotlight as a result of these difficulties.
Although they now live on a ranch in New Mexico, Julia and Danny used to reside in Los Angeles, where they were employed. But according to a pal, the two didn’t want their children to grow up surrounded by Los Angeles’s showbiz lifestyle. Because of their kids, the couple later relocated to San Francisco. Nobody gave a damn about Phinnaeus, Henry, and Hazel’s mother there, and they weren’t treated like Hollywood stars’ children.
The “Ocean’s Eleven” actress said in 2019 that, in an effort to shield her children from the stresses of the current world, she had forbidden them from using social media.
The actress instituted family meetings and set limits on what they watched on TV. She performed these actions because children nowadays can easily handle the world and potentially exploit its resources and demands. Julia feels that it is her responsibility as a parent to keep her children off social media because they are not in need of it right now.
In addition to keeping her children safe, Julia takes sure to show them nothing but the best love so they may overcome the difficulties of the modern world. She also guides her children through today’s challenges.
Mom seized the chance to give Hazel hope while she was going through a difficult period and felt like she didn’t have a voice. She showed Hazel that she could still stand up for her beliefs in this world by taking her to her first Women’s March in Washington.

On July 10, 2021, Danny and Hazel Moder show up for the “Flag Day” premiere at the 74th Cannes Film Festival in Cannes, France. | Source: Getty Images
The 56-year-old mother describes her daughter as “one of a kind.” The teenager chose a low-key appearance for her trip to the 74th Cannes Film Festival in 2021 with her father, even rejecting her mother’s advice to apply eyeliner. Hazel was merely delighted to attend the function beside her dad.

On July 10, 2021, Danny and Hazel Moder show up for the “Flag Day” premiere at the 74th Cannes Film Festival in Cannes, France. | Source: Getty Images

On July 10, 2021, Danny and Hazel Moder show up for the “Flag Day” premiere at the 74th Cannes Film Festival in Cannes, France. | Source: Getty Images
But Hazel also has a soft spot for her mother’s most treasured belongings. According to Julia, her daughter once dug through her closet in search of a prom dress and tried on the actress’s 2001 Academy Award-winning black and white Valentino gown. Although Julia recalls how beautiful her daughter looked in the garment, Hazel thought it was too big on her.

Julia Roberts on March 25, 2001, at the 73rd Annual Academy Awards in Los Angeles, California. | Found via Getty Images
Julia has given her children a lot of love, support, and affection. She claims that mothering is an art that cannot be learned. The actress believes that the best approach to deal with parenting is to accept that you are not a superwoman and that you shouldn’t be afraid to seek for help.

Julia Roberts on March 25, 2001, at the 73rd Annual Academy Awards in Los Angeles, California. | Found via Getty Images
The “Pretty Woman” actress acknowledged in 2022 that she experienced dizziness when her children were ready to start college. In addition, the fact that her kids would be attending college and she had never done so captivated and delighted her about them.
Although Julia always believes that her children look like her, she realizes that her children actually resemble Danny when she sees her spouse after he gets home from work. The father of three occasionally posts pictures of their children online, eliciting a lot of feedback from their followers.
On November 28, 2022, Julia’s twins turned eighteen, and the actress gave them a sweet photo of themselves from their early years. Danny often shares pictures of their three children on social media, and the majority of his postings get good feedback from followers.
When the 54-year-old published a photo of Hazel smiling next to Phinnaeus, fans noted that Julia and Danny had cute children. “They really are stunning,” said an enthusiast. Supporters also mentioned how wonderful the couple’s family is.
Some people remarked on how Danny and Julia’s children bore a striking resemblance to their dad. Hazel “looks like her dad,” as one fan put it, and other fans thought Danny and his daughter looked alike. The majority of people claimed that Danny is preferred by the couple’s three gorgeous children.

January 15, 2020, in Los Angeles, Julia Roberts and Danny Moder’s Tenth Anniversary Gala Benefiting CORE, hosted by Sean Penn | Source: Getty Images
After 21 years of marriage, Julia Roberts and Danny Moder are content in their marriage as they raise their children and shield them from the hardships of the outside world. The couple adores their kids, whom they have made enormous efforts to keep away from the entertainment industry.
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