Breakups are never easy. They bring a whirlwind of emotions, self-reflection, and sometimes, heart-wrenching pain. While it’s commonly believed that women are more emotional during a breakup, recent studies suggest that men may actually experience more emotional distress than women.
Why is that? The answer lies in a mix of psychological, societal, and emotional factors that shape how men handle breakups. Let’s dive into the reasons why breakups tend to hit men harder and what they can do to recover.
Men and Emotional Vulnerability: A Silent Struggle
From a young age, men are often conditioned to suppress their emotions. Society teaches them that showing vulnerability is a sign of weakness. While women are encouraged to express their feelings and seek support, men are more likely to bottle up their emotions.
This emotional suppression can be damaging. When a breakup happens, men might not have a strong support system in place to help them process the pain. Many men rely on their romantic partners as their primary emotional support, so when that relationship ends, they often feel lost and alone.
Without an outlet to talk about their feelings, men may struggle with feelings of sadness, loneliness, and even depression—sometimes much more intensely than women.
Societal Expectations: The Pressure to “Man Up”
One of the biggest reasons men struggle with breakups is the pressure to “man up” and move on quickly. Society often expects men to show emotional resilience, discouraging them from expressing grief or sadness.
Women, on the other hand, are more likely to seek comfort from friends, discuss their emotions, and actively work through their pain. Men, however, are often expected to act as if nothing has happened.
This need to maintain a tough exterior can prolong the healing process. Instead of working through their emotions, men might turn to distractions like excessive work, alcohol, or rebound relationships—only to find that the pain resurfaces later.
Why Romantic Relationships Matter More to Men
Men and women often approach relationships differently. While women tend to build multiple sources of emotional support through friendships and family, men frequently rely on their romantic partners as their main source of emotional intimacy.
When that relationship ends, it’s not just the loss of a girlfriend or wife—it’s the loss of a best friend, a confidant, and sometimes, their only emotional support system.
This can make the breakup feel like a double hit, leaving men struggling not only with heartbreak but also with a deep sense of emotional isolation.
Delayed Grief: Why Men Take Longer to Heal
Men and women grieve breakups differently. Women tend to feel the emotional pain more intensely at first, but they also process it faster by talking about it and seeking closure.
Men, however, often delay confronting their emotions. Instead of immediately processing the pain, they may distract themselves with work, hobbies, or casual relationships. But unresolved feelings don’t just disappear—they resurface later, sometimes in the form of depression, anxiety, or a lingering sense of emptiness.
This delayed emotional response can make breakups more painful for men in the long run, prolonging the healing process.
The Role of Attachment Styles in Breakup Pain
Attachment styles—the way people form emotional bonds—also play a role in how men experience breakups. Studies suggest that men are more likely to have an avoidant attachment style, meaning they struggle with emotional closeness but still feel deeply affected when a relationship ends.
This paradox can make breakups especially painful for men. On one hand, they may try to act indifferent and suppress their feelings. On the other hand, they might secretly feel heartbroken and unable to move on.
Women, by contrast, are more likely to have secure or anxious attachment styles, making them more willing to process and express their emotions.
Men Tend to Romanticize Past Relationships
Another reason men may suffer more after a breakup is that they often romanticize their past relationships. Instead of focusing on why the relationship ended, they tend to idealize the good times and overlook the problems.
Women, on the other hand, are more likely to process a breakup by analyzing what went wrong. This approach helps them gain clarity and move forward.
For men, however, this nostalgia can trap them in a cycle of regret and longing, making it even harder to let go and heal.
The Physical Impact of Breakups on Men
Breakups don’t just affect emotional health—they take a toll on physical health as well. Research suggests that men are more likely than women to experience:
- Sleep disturbances (insomnia or excessive sleeping)
- Changes in appetite (weight loss or gain)
- Weakened immune system (higher stress levels, increased risk of illness)
- Risky behaviors (drinking, smoking, reckless behavior)
Since men are less likely to seek emotional support, the stress of a breakup can manifest physically, leading to long-term health problems.
Why Women Heal Faster
Women tend to have healthier coping mechanisms when dealing with a breakup. They are more likely to:
- Talk about their emotions with friends and family
- Seek professional help like therapy or counseling
- Engage in self-care routines, like exercise or journaling
- Reflect on the relationship to understand what went wrong
These strategies allow women to process their emotions faster, helping them heal and move on more effectively than men.
Men, on the other hand, often suppress their pain and avoid dealing with it head-on, which ultimately prolongs their suffering.
How Men Can Heal After a Breakup
If breakups tend to hit men harder, what can they do to heal faster and move forward?
- Acknowledge Your Feelings – It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or confused. Accept your emotions instead of suppressing them.
- Talk to Someone – Whether it’s a close friend, family member, or therapist, opening up can help release pent-up emotions.
- Prioritize Self-Care – Exercise, eat well, and maintain a healthy routine to keep both your mind and body in check.
- Stay Busy, But Don’t Avoid Healing – Engaging in new hobbies or activities is great, but don’t use them as an escape from your emotions.
- Reflect and Grow – Instead of dwelling on what’s lost, focus on what you’ve learned and how you can grow from the experience.
Healing takes time, but taking proactive steps can make the journey smoother and more empowering.
Conclusion: The Emotional Reality of Breakups for Men
While breakups are painful for everyone, men often struggle more due to emotional suppression, societal expectations, and a lack of support systems. Their tendency to avoid emotions, romanticize past relationships, and delay grief can make the healing process more challenging.
However, understanding these factors can pave the way for healthier coping strategies. By embracing vulnerability, seeking support, and focusing on self-care, men can heal and emerge stronger from a breakup.
At the end of the day, heartbreak is a painful but transformative experience. It’s not just about losing someone—it’s about rediscovering yourself, learning from the past, and preparing for healthier, more fulfilling relationships in the future.
Growing up as a gay child, CNN anchor Anderson Cooper thought he would never be able to have his own children
Nearing sixty, Anderson Cooper had already ended his relationship with Benjamin Maisani, his longtime partner, when he became a father. The two ex-couples did, however, reunite, but not in a romantic setting.
It took years before Anderson Cooper and Benjamin Maisani’s relationship was made public because they were so secretive about it. The couple’s dating history dates back to 2009.
The pair was revealed to be residing together at Anderson’s firehouse home by Daily Mail in March 2018. He later made renovations to the $4 million Manhattan, Greenwich Village home he purchased.
It wasn’t until May 2015 that Anderson and Benjamin disclosed their relationship. The CNN news presenter posted a picture of him and Benjamin on Instagram at the time, writing:
“I suppose you start to pose the same when you’re with someone for a long time.”
Following that, Anderson began to share more details about his connection. So much so that he and his boyfriend co-starred in an Architectural Digest edition in August of 2016.
The couple was displaying their remote co-owned house in a region of Brazil at the time. Benjamin discussed the attention his relationship with Anderson was receiving in 2014 when he spoke with French Morning.
In March 2018, after a decade of dating, Anderson’s spokesperson confirmed that the journalist and Benjamin had separated. According to reports, the CNN anchor explained the split by saying:
“Benjamin and I separated as boyfriends some time ago. We are still family to each other, and love each other very much.”
Anderson explained that he and his ex-boyfriend remained best friends and would continue sharing their lives. During an interview with Ellen DeGeneres, the television personality revealed one of the reasons that caused them to break up.
He shared how Benjamin wasn’t sure he wanted to have children. However, Anderson didn’t wait to have another partner before working on his dream of becoming a father and fulfilling it at age 53.
In 2020, when reaching the end of his segment on CNN, Anderson revealed that his first child and son, Wyatt Morgan, had been born. He also opened up about why the milestone was especially significant for him, stating:
“As a gay kid, I never thought it would be possible to have a child.”
The star shared his gratitude for the people who paved the way for him to realize his dream. He also shared his appreciation of the nurses and doctors who took part in helping welcome his son.
Following ten years of dating, Anderson’s representative said that the journalist and Benjamin had split up in March 2018. The CNN host reportedly stated the following to explain the split:
“A while back, Benjamin and I called it quits on our relationship. We still love and care for one another as if we were family.
Anderson clarified that he would continue to share their lives and that he and his ex-boyfriend were close friends. One of the reasons behind their breakup was disclosed by the television personality in an interview with Ellen DeGeneres.
He revealed that Benjamin wasn’t certain he wanted to start a family. But Anderson didn’t wait to find a new partner to work toward and realize his 53-year-old dream of becoming a father.
At the conclusion of his CNN segment in 2020, Anderson disclosed the birth of Wyatt Morgan, his first kid. He also revealed the reason the achievement held particular significance for him, saying:
“As a gay child, I never imagined that having a child would be possible.”
The celebrity expressed his appreciation to everyone who helped him achieve his dream. He also expressed his gratitude to the medical professionals that assisted in the birth of his son.
In addition, the TV celebrity shared four photos of his infant son on Instagram. The first picture shows him tenderly nursing Wyatt. He disclosed that the boy was just three days old in the caption of the photo.
He gave an explanation of how the child’s first name matched that of his own father, who died when he was only 10 years old. The second name belonged to his mother’s side of the family, Gloria Vanderbilt, and was also favored by his parents.
Anderson claimed at the time that he had discovered a list his parents had created 52 years prior while choosing his name. At birth, Wyatt reportedly weighed 7.2 pounds and was hailed as “sweet, soft, and healthy.”
The journalist also expressed gratitude to the surrogate mother for bearing him, providing him with a loving and sensitive watch, and giving birth to the boy. He also expressed gratitude to the surrogate’s family for their help both before and after the procedure.
In closing, Anderson expressed his hope that his brother Carter, mother, and father could have seen his son grow up. But he made the decision to think they could see his child, and he saw them cuddling up to each other while grinning and laughing.
He was content that their family line will live on and that their love was still present in both Wyatt and him. Anderson learned in August 2020 that Wyatt was sleeping on an unusual schedule for a youngster who was just about four months old at the time.
The newborn was getting twelve hours of sleep every night! The CNN anchor clarified that he was receiving help from a nurse and made a joke about not knowing what she did—but she didn’t use booze or Ambien—to put the youngster to sleep so much!
Anderson had one requirement, despite having help from someone else in caring for the child. The celebrity declared that he opposed having a single parent raise his child.
In May 2020, Anderson gave an explanation for his decision to not raise his child by himself on “The Howard Stern Show.” The celebrity talked about how his mother raised him and his brother as a single parent after losing his father and how she wasn’t very paternal.
He wished there had been another adult in his life to cover that absence. Someone who occasionally offered to take him out to lunch or a ball game, or who suggested having a conversation with him; the journalist added:
“Therefore, I reasoned that I would be in favor of more people loving my son and being in his life, even if nothing bad happened to me.”
He mentioned how, if it were possible, he would want to have two parents. Ironically, because of their good relationship, he and Benjamin continued to live together in their house after their breakup.
Anderson said that things were “weird” between him and the nightclub owner. Despite his early reluctance, Benjamin eventually changed his mind and is today a wonderful co-parent to young Wyatt.
The former couple resided in the Greenwich Village firehouse that Anderson purchased and remodeled in 2009. According to the celebrity, Wyatt would likely refer to Benjamin as “Papa” whereas he would be called “Dad” or “Daddy” because he was French.
Anderson quipped that the businessman was speaking to the young child in his own tongue and that he might be manipulating Wyatt by not understanding what he was saying! But the journalist denied that the ex-couple might reconcile when asked if it would be possible.
In August 2020, Anderson talked to WSJ magazine about how becoming a father had made him realize how much life had changed. Despite being 53 at the time, he talked about how he felt like he was waiting for his real life to start.
The actor claimed that he had been concentrating on moving forward or telling a tale, but that concentrating on Wyatt brought order to the situation. The anchor for the news said, “It’s changed everything.”
Due to his night shift employment, Anderson used to wake up late as well, but after Wyatt’s arrival, he now wakes up at seven in the morning. Since his son’s awakening marked the highest point of his day, it was his objective to rise before him.
Benjamin [Maisani] and the infant [Sebastian Luke Maisani-Cooper], who weighed 6.8 lbs. at birth, would also share co-parenting duties.
When the young boy saw him, he delighted to see him stretch and smile. From the third floor, Anderson went to his son’s room on the fourth, where he waited for him to make noises to let the star know he was awake before entering to see how he was doing.
The TV celebrity stated to People magazine in June 2020 that he would be willing to grow his family in the future. But first, he needed time to get a better night’s sleep and clear his thoughts!
It would be wonderful, he thought, to have a brother or sister for Wyatt. Then, on “Anderson Cooper 360°,” in February 2022, Anderson revealed that he had welcomed Sebastian Luke Maisani-Cooper, his second son, via surrogacy!
Benjamin and the infant, who weighed 6.8 pounds at birth, would also share co-parenting duties. The celebrity also disclosed at that time that Wyatt’s last name would be changed to Maisani-Cooper and that his former partner was in the process of adopting the child.
But in December 2020, following Wyatt’s birth, Anderson acknowledged that he was “tired more than I’ve ever been.” He did, however, adore being a father and “wouldn’t change it for the world,” and he frequently broke down in tears when he saw his kid.
Leave a Reply