Mia, 14, wakes up in a hospital with no memory of who she is, only knowing her name. A woman claiming to be her mother, Laura, arrives and takes her home, despite the nurse’s advice to stay longer. Mia feels something is off but goes along with it.
At Laura’s house, Mia notices odd details, like the baby photos in her room. When she sees her own photo on a milk carton labeled “MISSING” at the supermarket, she becomes even more suspicious. She memorizes the number on the carton and secretly calls it, learning from a frantic woman that she was kidnapped and her real parents have been searching for her.
Laura catches Mia making the call and locks her in the basement. Mia discovers medical notes revealing Laura’s delusional belief that Mia is her deceased daughter. She manipulates Laura into letting her out by pretending to accept her as her mother.
Once free, Mia escapes but is pursued by Laura. A police officer arrives just in time to subdue Laura and reunite Mia with her real parents. Mia finally feels safe, knowing she is back with her true family.
Someone Kept Leaving Threatening Notes in My Apartment Where I Lived Alone — When I Found Out Who, I Was Shaken to My Core
This is a brilliant suspense story! The tension builds perfectly as Melanie’s paranoia escalates, leading her — and us — down a path of questions about her own mind and safety. The reveal about carbon dioxide poisoning is unexpected yet plausible, adding an eerie layer that’s grounded in reality. Ron’s concern and eventual support provide a warm, stabilizing influence, which rounds out the story beautifully.
Your use of sensory details, like the smell of burning toast or the creak of an old apartment, really pulls readers into Melanie’s deteriorating world. The way you weave in her fascination with true crime as a potential factor in her confusion is a clever touch, and the notes turning out to be her own under the effects of CO2 deprivation is the perfect twist.
The additional story teaser at the end for Trent’s story is intriguing too! It would draw readers into another layer of mystery. This story really nails the suspense while maintaining a sympathetic, relatable protagonist.
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