According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
Rich Young Woman Mocks Poor Old Man, Two Days Later They Switch Places — Story of the Day
A rich young woman mocks the janitor at her father’s company and he decides to teach her a lesson she will never forget.
Danielle Grobber was used to having everything her own way. She was beautiful, intelligent, talented, and very, very rich. Or at least, Danielle’s father was very rich and she’d always thought of his money as hers.
So Danielle, or Danie, as her friends called her, was more than a little spoiled, but she always managed to charm her way out of trouble with her sweet talk and her dazzling smile. Then she crossed a line, and her father taught her a life lesson she would never forget.
Danielle was about to go off on a two-week dream vacation to the Caribean and had talked her father into taking her on a shopping spree. Not that Danie was in need of anything, she just loved shopping with her dad.
Unfortunately, he had to skip their lunch to attend to some urgent issues, and so she’d wandered around a bit before walking into a famous fast food restaurant and ordering herself a burger with all the trimmings, fries, a large soda, and an apple pie.
She took her order and walked back to her dad’s building which was surrounded by a well-tended lawn dotted with shady trees, comfortable benches, and murmuring fountains. She sat and ate her food while she texted her friends on her phone.
When she finished, she wiped her lips, crumpled the napkin, and carefully applied lipstick. Then she got up and started to walk away, leaving all the packaging and left-overs on the bench.
A voice stopped her in her tracks. “Excuse me, miss!” the voice said. “Please pick up your trash and put it in the bin.”
Treat everyone with respect if you want to be respected.
Danie turned around and stared at a thin elderly man in a janitor’s uniform who was sweeping the garden path. “Excuse me?” she asked. “Are you talking to ME?”
“Yes, young lady,” the man said. “This little park is for the people who work here to enjoy, and I don’t think it’s fair to leave rubbish behind.”
“I don’t clean up!” Danie said arrogantly. “People clean up for ME. People like you, the servant class — isn’t that your job? So do it — clean it up!”
The elderly man flushed. “Young lady,” he said. “My job is to keep this building and this garden spick and span but what you did is disrespectful…”
Danie interrupted him rudely. “You work for my father, which means you work for me! If I tell you to clean up, you clean up, if I tell you to lick my shoes, you lick my shoes or I’ll get you fired!”
It was at that moment that Danie heard a voice like thunder: “DANIELLE!” She turned around to find her father standing there looking furious. “Who do you think you are?” Jack Grobber asked her. “How dare you humiliate this man, who has worked for me for over 20 years. A hard-working man, with a family!”
“Daddy?” said Danie in her best little girl voice. “Please don’t be mad at me…I’m sooo sorry!” But under her sweet smile, Jack caught a flicker of mockery. Danie thought she was going to get away with this, just like she’d gotten away with everything in the past.
“Apologize to Mr. Terence, Danielle,” Jack ordered and watched as his daughter turned to the janitor with her most charming manner — but now he knew it was all an act.
“It’s my fault,” Jack thought. “I have to put this right!” But how do you undo a lifetime of indulgence and teach a young woman respect and responsibility?
Then Jack had a brilliant idea. “Mr. Terence, you look very tired!” he said. “I think you need a vacation!”
Mr. Terence smiled and shook his head. “My wife says the same, Mr. Grobber, but I’m saving up my vacation days for the end of the year so we can spend Christmas with the grandchildren!”
“That’s quite alright, Mr. Terence,” Jack said. “I’m giving you two weeks off and an all-expenses-paid trip to the Bahamas for you and your wife!”
Mr. Terence’s gaped. “Sir? The Bahamas…But who will fill in for me?”
“Don’t worry, Mr. Terence,” Jack said smiling. “My daughter Danielle will be more than happy to fill in for you, to make up for the unpleasant way she treated you.”
“WHAT?” screamed Danie, “Are you mad, daddy? I’m going on vacation…”
“Not anymore,” Jack said. “Mr. and Mrs. Terence are going in your place, and you will do his job while he is away.”
“YOU CAN’T DO THAT TO ME!” screamed Danielle. “I’m not a janitor! Cleaning toilets? Sweeping? Picking up other people’s trash? I won’t do it!”
“Yes you will,” her father said coldly. “Or I will cut off your allowance, take away that convertible…”
“It’s MY car!” cried Danie.
“No, Danielle,” Jack said quietly. “It’s MY car. I paid for it, I pay for the insurance and the gas. It’s all mine. Everything you have, I give you, so I think it’s time you learned how hard people have to work for every dollar.”
Danie knew her father very well, and by the look in his eyes, she realized she’d crossed some boundary. He would not be sweet-talked out of this crazy notion!
“You start on Monday,” Jack told her, then he turned to Mr. Terence. “And you’d better go home and pack, Mr. Terence! Bon Voyage!”
Monday morning Danie was there in her uniform, cleaning and sweeping, and emptying trash cans. By the end of the day she was exhausted, her beautiful nails were ruined, and her soft pampered hands were red and sore.
By the time Mr. Terence came back from the Bahamas with an amazing tan, Danie was quite an expert at the job and he was happy to report to Mr. Grobber that she’d left everything spick and span — no trash in the garden!
As for Danie, she never again disrespected anyone for doing a hard day’s work because she knew exactly what that felt like!
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