Narcissism is a phenomenon in which a person with low self-esteem is afraid of losing authority in the eyes of others, and they begin to manipulate their friends, colleagues, and family to appear better than they really are. These people are so determined. We decided to imagine what it’s like to have your beloved mother like this.
They have a distorted perception of love and achievement, making it nearly impossible for them to make you feel good enough.
Their self-worth hinges on external validation and a facade of perfection. This creates a moving target for your worth in their eyes. You can achieve great things, but their praise might be laced with criticism, or they might simply shift the goalposts to a new, unattainable standard. This leaves you perpetually striving for an unachievable level of approval.
Additionally, their happiness is often transactional. They dole out affection when it suits them, leaving you confused about what truly earns their love. This inconsistency fosters insecurity and self-doubt, making you question your own value no matter what you accomplish. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s inability to offer genuine, unconditional love creates a core belief that you’ll never be good enough, regardless of your efforts.
Narcissistic mothers won’t let their kids’ successes overshadow their own.
Narcissistic mothers crave attention and view their children’s achievements through a distorted lens. While they might brag about their child’s successes superficially, they can’t handle being outshined. This stems from a deep insecurity and a fragile sense of self. Their child’s triumphs become a threat, rather than a source of pride. They may downplay the accomplishment, subtly criticize, or even try to one-up their child with their own past glories, all to maintain a sense of superiority.
She’s only worried about her own problems.
A narcissistic mother’s world often revolves around herself, leaving little room for her child’s emotions or experiences. Their own needs for validation and admiration take priority. They struggle to empathize with their child’s struggles, viewing them as inconveniences or attention-grabbing tactics. This is because the narcissist lacks the emotional maturity to see their child as a separate being with valid feelings. Their child’s problems become burdens to be managed, rather than opportunities for connection and support.
These mothers humiliate their children.
There are a couple of reasons why narcissistic mothers might resort to humiliating their children. One is to maintain control. By publicly criticizing, mocking, or exaggerating their child’s flaws, the mother keeps them feeling insecure and dependent. This fragile self-esteem makes the child less likely to challenge the mother’s authority or seek independence.
Another reason is to bolster the narcissist’s own fragile ego. Putting their child down creates a clear hierarchy where the mother is always superior. This can be especially pronounced if the child shows any potential to outshine the mother, triggering a need to cut them down to size. Ultimately, the humiliation serves the narcissist’s own needs for power and self-importance, leaving the child feeling emotionally bruised and diminished.
She makes kids feel guilty for getting something.
Narcissistic mothers often induce guilt in their children for receiving gifts or achieving success because it reinforces their own sense of control. They might make comments like, «You don’t deserve this, there are others who need it more,» implying the child is selfish for wanting something good. This guilt trip serves a few purposes.
Firstly, it keeps the child feeling indebted and obligated to please the mother. Secondly, it deflects attention away from the mother’s inability to be genuinely happy for her child’s good fortune. Ultimately, by making their child feel guilty, the narcissistic mother manipulates the situation to maintain the focus on themselves and their emotional needs.
She thinks she always deserves the best.
A narcissistic mother’s belief in her own deservingness stems from a distorted sense of self-importance. Deep down, she craves admiration and validation, and views herself as superior to others. This inflated ego convinces her that she deserves the best in life, regardless of her actions or contributions. It’s a constant need to be seen as special and entitled.
This sense of entitlement can manifest in various ways, from expecting lavish gifts and unwavering support to feeling justified in cutting in line or bending the rules. For a narcissistic mother, the «best» isn’t just about material possessions, but also about the constant flow of attention, praise, and control that reinforces her grandiosity.
Her love is unstable. When she needs something, she’s kind. When she doesn’t, she’s rude.
Narcissistic mothers often exhibit a transactional kind of love, where affection is dangled like a carrot. When their needs are unmet, their self-absorption takes center stage. They might become critical, dismissive, or even cold towards their child. Conversely, when they require something — maybe errands run, emotional support, or a public image boost — the kindness faucet turns on.
This emotional inconsistency leaves the child confused and insecure. They never quite know what version of their mother they’ll encounter, creating a constant state of walking on eggshells to avoid the unpredictable shift from loving to cold.
She cares too much about how other people see her.
A narcissistic mother craves external validation and uses how others perceive her as a mirror for her fragile self-esteem. Her self-worth hinges on admiration and a cultivated image of perfection. This makes her hyper-aware of how others view her, particularly in her role as a mother. She might brag excessively about her child’s accomplishments, not necessarily out of pride, but to reflect well on her own parenting skills.
Conversely, any perceived shortcomings in her child become a threat to her image. She might downplay their achievements or even criticize them publicly to maintain a facade of control and superiority in the eyes of others. Ultimately, the well-being and genuine connection with her child become secondary to managing the public perception of a perfect mother and family.
She complains about people that do something against her will.
Narcissistic mothers view any challenge to their control as a personal attack. Their rigid sense of self-importance dictates that things should go their way. When someone, especially their child, dares to act independently or disagree, it triggers a deep sense of entitlement being violated. They may lash out by complaining excessively, playing the victim, or attempting to manipulate the situation back to their desired outcome.
These complaints serve a dual purpose: firstly, to punish the person for disobeying, and secondly, to garner sympathy or support from others, further reinforcing their position of authority. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s complaints about those who defy her are less about the specific action and more about maintaining a power dynamic where she remains in control.
Narcissistic mothers are jealous of their daughters’ beauty. And they pretend to be caring.
A narcissistic mother’s insecurity can turn a daughter’s blossoming beauty into a source of hidden jealousy. They may outwardly offer compliments laced with backhanded remarks, like «You look pretty, but maybe try a different shade of lipstick.» This thinly veiled criticism undermines the daughter’s confidence while maintaining a facade of caring.
Deeper down, the mother might feel threatened by her daughter’s youthful beauty, a stark reminder of her own fading youth and potential loss of attention. This jealousy can manifest in various ways, from sabotaging the daughter’s attempts to dress up for an event to subtly comparing her looks to others. The narcissistic mother’s mask of concern hides a desire to control the narrative, ensuring her daughter’s beauty doesn’t overshadow her own.
She criticizes a lot but almost never gives praise.
Narcissistic mothers often fall into a harsh critic pattern for a few reasons. Firstly, their self-worth is fueled by a need for control and a sense of superiority. Constant criticism keeps their child feeling insecure and dependent, less likely to challenge their authority. Secondly, genuine praise can feel threatening to a narcissist. If their child is successful or confident, it might overshadow the mother’s own perceived importance.
Instead of celebrating their child’s achievements, they might downplay them or even resort to nitpicking flaws. Ultimately, the lack of praise becomes a tool for manipulation. By withholding validation, the narcissistic mother keeps her child striving for approval, a dynamic that reinforces her own sense of power and control.
They’re angry if someone else is in the spotlight.
A narcissistic mother thrives on being the center of attention. Their fragile self-esteem craves constant validation and admiration. When someone else, especially their child, receives praise or recognition, it’s perceived as a direct threat. This triggers a surge of anger because it disrupts their carefully curated image of superiority. They might downplay the other person’s accomplishment, subtly criticize them, or even try to steal the spotlight back to themselves with tales of their own past glories.
This anger isn’t about protecting their child, but about protecting their own inflated sense of self-importance. They can’t bear to share the spotlight, and their reaction reflects a deep-seated insecurity that can leave their child feeling confused and emotionally neglected.
Narcissistic mothers might constantly remind you of the things they’ve done for you.
One is to create a sense of obligation and guilt. By replaying a litany of sacrifices and favors, they make you feel indebted, making it harder to disagree with them or assert your independence. It’s a way to control you through emotional manipulation. Another reason is to inflate their own sense of importance.
Recounting their «good deeds» reinforces their narrative as the selfless caregiver deserving of constant praise and gratitude. Ultimately, these constant reminders are about them, not you. It’s a tactic to maintain power within the relationship and ensure you remain focused on their needs rather than developing your own sense of self.
These narcissistic traits can take a toll. But there’s good news! Our next piece dives into how these experiences shape you, and what you heal from it.
Hours Before My Wedding, a Strange Elderly Woman Approached Me and Asked to Read My Palm
On Claire and David’s wedding day, a mysterious old woman shows up on their driveway, ready to read Claire’s palm. Claire, not believing in the practice, is skeptical… until the old woman reveals details that are too accurate to be a hoax.
The morning of my wedding was everything I’d dreamed of. It was chaotic, I was buzzing with excitement, and it was filled with love. My bridesmaids would be arriving soon, and we were planning on having a charcuterie board lunch with champagne on the side.
A charcuterie board | Source: Midjourney
My dress was hanging in its garment bag, and I was marrying David, my best friend and the man who’d made me believe in forever. Our wedding was going to be different. David and I were getting married on a yacht at night, so really, we had the entire day to get ready for the rest of our lives…
At least, that’s what I thought.
I put on my face mask and stepped outside to meet the delivery man with my bouquet. I had wanted it to be delivered at the last minute so that it would be perfect with no wilting buds.
A woman with a face mask on | Source: Midjourney
But as I walked to the driveway, waiting for the delivery truck to come, I noticed her.
She was standing near the path that cut through my front yard. An elderly woman with weathered skin, wild gray hair, and clothes that looked as though they hadn’t been washed in weeks.
And still, despite her ragged appearance, her eyes were sharp, almost piercing. There was something unsettlingly calm about her.
An old woman standing outside | Source: Midjourney
“Child,” she called out, her voice soft but commanding. “Come closer, Child.”
I hesitated. Every instinct told me to ignore her and go back inside, but something in her gaze made me stop. Against my better judgment, I walked toward her. Maybe she was hungry. I could make her a cup of tea and a sandwich and let her go on her way.
It was my wedding day, after all. How would I send an old woman away?
A sandwich and cup of tea on a counter | Source: Midjourney
“Let me see your hand, Child,” she said, reaching out. “I want to read your palm. Let’s see what the lines on your palm have to say. Let’s uncover their secrets.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, forcing a smile. “But I don’t really believe in that sort of thing.”
She smiled faintly.
A woman holding her hand out | Source: Midjourney
“You don’t have to believe, my dear,” she said. “You just have to listen. Maybe something will resonate with you.”
Before I could protest, she reached out and gently took my hand. Her grip was surprisingly strong for someone so frail. I should’ve pulled away, but I didn’t.
“The man you are about to marry,” she began, her voice low and deliberate as she traced one of the lines on my palm.
“Yes?” I asked.
A woman holding her arm out | Source: Midjourney
“He has a mark on his right thigh? A heart-shaped birthmark, yes?”
I froze. My stomach tightened. I hadn’t told anyone about David’s birthmark. How could she possibly know?
“And his mother?” she continued, her gaze unwavering. “She wasn’t part of his life, no? She’s dead now, isn’t she?”
I nodded slowly, a chill running down my spine.
A man’s birthmark | Source: Midjourney
“How… how do you know that?”
Her expression darkened.
“Child, he’s going to ruin your life. But you still have a choice! If you want to know the truth, look inside the stuffed rabbit he keeps in his closet.”
I stumbled back, pulling my hand free.
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
A stuffed rabbit toy | Source: Midjourney
“Trust your instincts,” she said. “And remember, love built on lies will crumble.”
I was ready to turn away, but then my bouquet came. Quickly, I picked it up from the delivery man and then hurried back into the house, slamming the door behind me. My heart pounded as her words echoed in my mind.
The stuffed rabbit.
David had told me about it once, a toy his mother gave him before she died. He kept it tucked away in his closet so that he could still have a piece of her.
A woman looking concerned | Source: Midjourney
Quickly, I washed my face mask off and sent a text to the group my bridesmaids had created.
Running a quick errand, I’ll let you know when I’m home. Then we can celebrate!
“Okay, Claire,” I told myself. “Let’s go find a stuffed bunny.”
David was at his dad’s house getting ready. So I was alone; I could do whatever I wanted. And what I wanted was to uncover the truth.
A woman in a bathroom | Source: Midjourney
Was the old woman just talking absolute nonsense, or was there more to it?
I opened David’s closet and pulled out the rabbit. Its gray fur was worn and faded, and I noticed something I hadn’t before. A small zipper on its back.
My heart raced as I unzipped it. Inside was a bundle of folded papers.
Pieces of paper on a bed | Source: Midjourney
Son, why are you ashamed of me? Please don’t abandon me. I love you.-Mom
I stared at the words, my chest tightening. The next note was even more heartbreaking.
I’ve been calling for weeks. Why won’t you answer, David?
And then the third:
Please, let me see you just once. I need to know you’re okay.
A woman reading a note | Source: Midjourney
My legs felt like jelly as I sank onto the floor. David’s mother wasn’t dead. She was alive. And she had been desperately trying to get to know him. But how had she been sending him these notes? Through the mailbox?
The realization hit me suddenly.
David had lied to me. About his mother. About something so fundamental, so deeply personal. My mind raced, trying to piece it all together. Why would he lie? Was it shame? Manipulation?
A woman sitting on the floor in a nightgown | Source: Midjourney
Or something darker?
I grabbed my phone and dialed him, my fingers shaking as they touched the screen.
“Hey, Claire,” he said, his voice light. “What’s up? No cold feet, right?”
“You need to come home,” I said. “Now.”
“Is everything okay?” he asked, concern creeping into his tone.
A woman using a phone | Source: Midjourney
“Just get here, David, please.” I hung up before he could say anything else.
When he arrived, he looked worried.
“Claire, what’s going on? We’re not supposed to see each other before the ceremony!”
His eyes darted to my face, then to the stuffed rabbit clutched in my hands.
“Explain this,” I said, holding up the notes.
A shocked man | Source: Midjourney
His face went pale. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. Slowly, he sank onto the couch, burying his face in his hands.
“It’s complicated, Claire,” he said finally.
“Complicated? How? You told me that your mother was dead, David! You lied to me about something so huge. How is that complicated?”
A man holding his head | Source: Midjourney
He lifted his head, tears brimming in his eyes.
“My dad… he made me choose between them. After the divorce, he told me that she wasn’t good enough. He said that she was a mess, that she liked her beer and could only hold jobs at diners that wanted to give her a chance. He said that I’d have a better life without her. I was just a kid, Claire. I didn’t know any better.”
“And now? You’re not a kid anymore! You’ve been ignoring her since when? She’s been begging to see you. These notes are proof. Do you have any idea how cruel that is?”
A woman working at a diner | Source: Midjourney
“I know,” he said. “I know I messed up. I’ve been so ashamed. I didn’t know how to fix it.”
I stared at him, my heart breaking but also… defeated. Who was this man?
“You lied to me. How am I supposed to marry someone I can’t trust?”
His face crumpled.
An upset man | Source: Midjourney
“Please, Claire,” he said. “Don’t do this! I’ll make it right. I’ll go to her. I know where she lives. She’s in a couple’s outbuilding. I’ll apologize. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
I took a deep breath.
“Go find her, David. Make things right with her. Until you do, I can’t marry you.”
A woman standing in a living room | Source: Midjourney
His eyes widened in panic.
“Claire…”
“No, actions speak louder than words,” I said, cutting him off. “Go.”
Hours passed, and I couldn’t focus on anything. I texted my bridesmaids group again and told them that the wedding was off. The yacht was ready, the guests were starting to arrive, and my phone buzzed incessantly with texts from my mom and bridesmaids.
A woman sitting on a couch and texting | Source: Midjourney
Please, sort it out. The wedding is canceled. I’m okay. Don’t come home, just tell the guests and make sure everyone eats before they leave the yacht. Lots of love, girls.
All I could think about was David and the woman who had appeared like a ghost to warn me.
It was nearly evening when I heard the knock at my door. I opened it to find David standing there, his face tear-streaked and his shoulders slumped.
Wedding guests on a yacht | Source: Midjourney
But there was something else, a sense of relief, of peace.
“I found her,” he said softly. “I apologized. She forgave me.”
I nodded, my throat too tight to speak.
And then he stepped aside.
Standing behind him was the elderly woman from earlier. Her gray hair glowed in the fading light, and her eyes, those piercing, knowing eyes, were now brimming with tears.
A woman and her son | Source: Midjourney
“Claire,” David said, his voice breaking. “This is my mother.”
The weight of her words from earlier hit me. She had risked everything to warn me, to save her son from the lies that had kept them apart. And to give me the truth before it was too late.
“Thank you,” I whispered, hugging her.
She smiled.
A shocked woman sitting on a couch | Source: Midjourney
“Thank you for giving him the chance to find his way back.”
David and I didn’t get married that day. But in the months that followed, he worked tirelessly to rebuild his relationship with his mother. And during those months, I made sure that he got his answers from his father.
“I will not have your father in my life unless he can explain why he was so ugly to your mother. She needs love and car, David. She looks more aged and worn out than anyone her age, and don’t you think that’s because of your father? He did this to her.”
“I know,” he said, handing me a cup of tea. “But what can I do? Demand to know why he’s such a horrible person?”
“Yes!” I exclaimed.
A cup of tea on a coffee table | Source: Midjourney
David, true to his word, did have a proper sit down with his father, and Alec came clean.
“I didn’t want you to choose your mother, David. I didn’t want you to be burdened with her issues, and if anything, I should have taken care of her. I asked for the divorce because I didn’t want that responsibility. And now what? She’s back and she looks like she needs so much care. It’s all my fault.”
David accepted what his father had to say, but I could see that their relationship would forever be strained.
Two men having a conversation | Source: Midjourney
And when we did finally get married, it was a small, intimate ceremony with Estelle, David’s mother, by our side.
We had taken her for medicals and gotten her treatment for her liver. We rented out a small apartment for her, because as much as she wanted to be back in David’s life, she wasn’t used to living with people.
Sometimes, love isn’t about perfect beginnings. It’s about finding your way back to the truth… and to the people who matter most.
A smiling couple | Source: Midjourney
What would you have done?
If you’ve enjoyed this story, here’s another one for you:
My Dying MIL Called Me in Tears to Reveal a Terrible Secret That Changed Everything
When my dying mother-in-law called me late one night, I never expected her to confess a secret that would turn our lives upside down. That secret led me to a point where I had to make a difficult choice.
I’ve been married to Dawson for about ten years, and my mother-in-law never missed a chance to remind me that I wasn’t the kind of woman she wanted for her son.
A woman talking to her daughter-in-law | Source: Midjourney
Colette is one of those people who believe in telling the truth, no matter how bitter it is. She doesn’t care if the truth will hurt her loved ones because she believes honesty comes first.
“I wanted Dawson to marry my friend’s daughter,” she told me one day when she came over to our place. “I always thought they’d make a great couple.”
A woman speaking to her daughter-in-law | Source: Midjourney
Honestly, I wanted to tell her off, but I’m not the type to disrespect anyone. I always ignored her snide remarks, and that’s the only reason our relationship survived.
A few months ago, Colette was diagnosed with cancer, and the doctors said she didn’t have much time left. Before her diagnosis, we only saw each other at family gatherings and rarely spoke otherwise.
A woman looking straight ahead | Source: Midjourney
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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