After a week away, I came home to the strange and unsettling sight of my kids sleeping on the cold hallway floor. Heart pounding, I searched for answers, only to find my husband missing and odd noises coming from the kids’ room. What I uncovered next left me furious — and ready for a fight!
I’d been away on a business trip for a week, and let me tell you, I was itching to get home. My boys, Tommy and Alex, were probably bouncing off the walls waiting for me.
I mean, a week is practically forever when you’re 6 and 8. And Mark? Well, I figured he’d be glad to hand the reins back to me. He’s a great dad, don’t get me wrong, but he’s always been more of the fun parent than the responsible one.
As I pulled into our driveway at midnight, I couldn’t help but grin. The house was dark and quiet, just as it should be at this ungodly hour.
I grabbed my suitcase and tiptoed to the front door, keys jingling softly in my hand.
The lock clicked open, and I stepped inside, ready to collapse into bed. But something was… wrong.
My foot hit something soft, and I froze. Heart pounding, I fumbled for the light switch. When the hall lit up, I almost screamed.
Tommy and Alex were sprawled out on the floor, tangled up in blankets like a couple of puppies. They were fast asleep, but their faces were smudged with dirt, and their hair was sticking up in all directions.
“What the hell?” I whispered, my mind racing. Had there been a fire? A gas leak? Why weren’t they in their beds?
I crept past them, afraid to wake them up until I knew what was going on. The living room was a disaster zone, littered with pizza boxes, soda cans, and what looked suspiciously like melted ice cream on the coffee table. But no sign of Mark.
My heart was doing the cha-cha in my chest as I made my way to our bedroom. Empty.
The bed was still made, like it hadn’t been slept in today. Mark’s car was in the driveway, so where was he?
That’s when I heard it. A faint, muffled sound coming from the boys’ room. I tiptoed over, my imagination running wild. Was Mark hurt? Had some psycho broken in and tied him up?
I pushed the door open, inch by inch, and…
“What. The. Actual—” I bit my tongue, remembering the kids were just down the hall.
There was Mark, headphones on, controller in hand, surrounded by empty energy drink cans and snack wrappers. But that wasn’t even the craziest part.
The boys’ room had been transformed into some kind of gamer paradise. A massive TV took up one wall, there were LED lights everywhere, and I’m pretty sure that monstrosity in the corner was a mini-fridge.
I stood there, mouth hanging open, as the rage built up inside me like a volcano about to blow. Mark hadn’t even noticed me yet, too engrossed in whatever game he was playing.
I stomped over and yanked the headphones off his head. “Mark! What the hell is going on?”
He blinked at me, looking dazed. “Oh, hey babe. You’re home early.”
“Early? It’s midnight! Why are our children sleeping on the floor?”
He shrugged, reaching for his controller again. “Oh, it’s fine. The boys were happy sleeping outside. They thought it was an adventure.”
I snatched the controller away. “An adventure? They’re not camping, Mark! They’re sleeping on our dirty hallway floor!”
“Come on, don’t be such a buzzkill,” he said, trying to grab the controller back. “Everything’s under control. I’ve been feeding them and stuff.”
“Feeding them? You mean the pizza boxes and ice cream in the living room?” I could feel my blood pressure rising with every word. “And what about baths? Or, I don’t know, their actual beds?”
Mark rolled his eyes. “They’re fine, Sarah. Lighten up a bit.”
That’s when I lost it.
“Lighten up? LIGHTEN UP? Our children are sleeping on the floor like animals while you play video games in their room! What is wrong with you?”
“Nothing’s wrong with me,” he huffed. “I’m just trying to have a little me-time. Is that so terrible?”
I took a deep breath, trying not to scream. “You know what? We’re not doing this right now. Go put the boys in their beds. Now.”
“But I’m in the middle of—”
“NOW, Mark!”
He grumbled but got up, shuffling past me.
I watched him pick up Tommy, who stirred a little but didn’t wake up. As Mark carried him to bed, I couldn’t help but think how alike they looked: one actual child and the man acting like one.
I scooped up Alex, my heart breaking a little at how dirty his face was. As I tucked him into bed, I made a decision. If Mark wanted to act like a child, then that’s exactly how I’d treat him.
The next morning, I put my plan into action.
While Mark was in the shower, I snuck into the man cave he’d created and unplugged everything. Then I got to work.
When he came downstairs, hair still wet, I was waiting for him with a big smile. “Good morning, sweetie! I made you breakfast!”
He looked at me suspiciously. “Uh, thanks?”
I set a plate in front of him. In the middle was a Mickey Mouse-shaped pancake with a smiley face made of fruit. His coffee was in a sippy cup.
“What’s this?” he asked, poking at the pancake.
“It’s your breakfast, silly! Now eat up, we have a big day ahead of us!”
After breakfast, I unveiled my masterpiece, a giant, colorful chore chart plastered on the fridge. “Look what I made for you!”
Mark’s eyes widened. “What the hell is that?”
“Language!” I scolded. “It’s your very own chore chart! See? You can earn gold stars for cleaning your room, doing the dishes, and putting away your toys!”
“My toys? Sarah, what are you—”
I cut him off. “Oh, and don’t forget! We have a new house rule. All screens off by 9 p.m. sharp. That includes your phone, mister!”
Mark’s face went from confused to angry. “Are you kidding me? I’m a grown man, I don’t need—”
“Ah, ah, ah!” I wagged my finger. “No arguing, or you’ll have to go to the timeout corner!”
For the next week, I stuck to my guns. Every night at 9, I’d shut off the Wi-Fi and unplug his gaming console.
I even tucked him into bed with a glass of milk and read him “Goodnight Moon” in my most soothing voice.
His meals were served on plastic plates with little dividers. I cut his sandwiches into dinosaur shapes and gave him animal crackers for snacks. When he complained, I’d say things like, “Use your words, honey. Big boys don’t whine.”
The chore chart was a particular point of contention. Every time he completed a task, I’d make a big show of giving him a gold star.
“Look at you, putting your laundry away all by yourself! Mommy’s so proud!”
He’d grit his teeth and mutter, “I’m not a child, Sarah.”
To which I’d reply, “Of course not, sweetie. Now, who wants to help make cookies?”
The breaking point came about a week into my little experiment. Mark had just been sent to the timeout corner for throwing a fit about his two-hour screen time limit. He sat there, fuming, while I calmly set the kitchen timer.
“This is ridiculous!” he exploded. “I’m a grown man, for God’s sake!”
I raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Are you sure about that? Because grown men don’t make their children sleep on the floor so they can play video games all night.”
He deflated a little. “Okay, okay, I get it! I’m sorry!”
I studied him for a moment. He did look genuinely remorseful, but I wasn’t going to let him off the hook when I had one last blow to deliver.
“Oh, I accept your apology,” I said sweetly. “But I’ve already called your mom…”
The color drained from his face. “You didn’t.”
Right on cue, there was a knock at the door. I opened it to reveal Mark’s mother, looking every bit the disappointed parent.
“Mark!” she bellowed, marching into the house. “Did you really make my sweeties sleep on the floor so you could play your little games?”
Mark looked like he wanted the floor to open up and swallow him whole. “Mom, it’s not… I mean, I didn’t…”
She turned to me, her face softening. “Sarah, dear, I’m so sorry you had to deal with this. I thought I raised him better than that.”
I patted her arm. “It’s not your fault, Linda. Some boys just take longer to grow up than others.”
Mark’s face was beet red. “Mom, please. I’m 35 years old!”
Linda ignored him, turning back to me. “Well, not to worry. I’ve cleared my schedule for the next week. I’ll whip this boy back into shape in no time!”
As Linda bustled off to the kitchen, muttering about the state of the dishes, I caught Mark’s eye. He looked utterly defeated.
“Sarah,” he said quietly. “I really am sorry. I was selfish and irresponsible. It won’t happen again.”
I softened a little. “I know, honey. But when I’m away, I need to know you’ve got things under control. The boys need a father, not another playmate.”
He nodded, looking ashamed. “You’re right. I’ll do better, I promise.”
I smiled and gave him a quick kiss. “I know you will. Now, why don’t you go help your mother with the dishes? If you do a good job, maybe we can have ice cream for dessert.”
As Mark trudged off to the kitchen, I couldn’t help but feel a little smug. Lesson learned, I hoped. And if not… well, I still had that timeout corner ready and waiting.
Science Shows That Women Sleep Better Next To Dogs Than Men
The importance of sleep for one’s health should go without saying. The ideal approach to obtain restful sleep is a topic of great interest to a large number of researchers. But forget about meditating before bed and drinking chamomile tea. It has been found that women sleep better when their dogs are nearby. That’s correct, a study by Canisius College in New York State revealed that dogs make more comfortable sleeping companions than either people or cats.
Christy Hoffman, Ph.D., an animal behaviorist and the study’s chief researcher, said, “We found that women commonly rate dogs as better bed partners than cats and human partners and report that their dogs enhance their sleep quality.”
According to Research, Women Sleep Better Next to Dogs
Hoffman arrived at these conclusions after surveying almost a thousand American women. According to the findings, 31% of the participants and 55% of the participants shared a bed with a cat or a dog. Moreover, 57% of these ladies slept in the same bed as a human companion, compared to the other 40%.[1]
Hoffman also found out why dogs appeared to be the most comfortable bedmates.The first explanation is that dogs’ sleeping habits more closely reflect human sleep patterns than those of cats.
Hoffman stated, “It is not surprising that dogs and cats have different sleep schedules because dogs’ major sleep periods tend to coincide more closely with humans’ than do cats’.”
Even though these similar sleeping habits might have advantages, additional research is necessary to be certain. However, Hoffman has some ideas about how this might function.
She said, “Dogs may be better at accommodating their human’s sleep schedule than human bed partners.” Human bed companions frequently go to sleep and wake up at significantly different times from one another. Sleep disruption is undoubtedly a result of schedule discrepancies between spouses. It’s possible that canine bed companions adjust to their owner’s schedule more easily than do human bed partners.
Dogs also need specific routines and obligations, like an early morning stroll. These kinds of regimens support their users in sticking to a schedule, which enhances the quality of their sleep.
Calm and Safety
Dogs also have a tendency to remain rigid during sleep. Anyone who has ever shared a bed with a fidgety partner understands how annoying they can be. Nonetheless, the study’s female participants stated that, in contrast to cats, who tended to come and go, their dogs spent the most of the night on the bed.
This implies that cats might be more prone than dogs to disturb sleep by getting in and out of bed at different times. Furthermore, Hoffman stated, “We discovered that dog owners tended to go to bed and wake up earlier than cat owners and also adhered to more regular bedtime and wake time schedules.”
The third and most crucial reason is that dogs provide their owners a sense of security.more so than in relationships with humans or even cats.
“Some dog owners may find solace in the knowledge that their pet will notify them in the event of an intruder or other emergency; also, a dog’s barking may dissuade a possible invader. Hoffman stated that whereas a dog may offer psychological consolation, a cat is less likely to assume this function.
The Ideal Sleep Partner
Dogs are the ideal sleeping companions, according to the study, although their advantages vary depending on the situation.A dog might, for instance, snore or overheat the bed. Furthermore, a lot of owners report that their cats aid in their ability to go asleep.
Remember that the study relied on the volunteers’ perceptions of the effects of their pets on the quantity and quality of their sleep. Therefore, further impartial study is required before it can be said with certainty that dogs make better sleeping companions. Nonetheless, Hoffman thinks that since pets are common in American homes, these research might be helpful.
“This line of research will be valuable to develop a clearer picture of the contexts under which co-sleeping with a pet may be detrimental to one’s sleep quality, and the contexts under which pets and their presence in their owner’s bed may positively impact sleep quality,” the spokesperson stated.
For example, studies have indicated that women sleep better on their alone than in the company of a human, but many people hold the opposite view. In the future, scientists may employ Fitbit-like gadgets to measure people’s sleep quality objectively under various sleeping scenarios.
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