I’ve been with my fiancé for six years, and we were supposed to get married next month. But during a visit to my parents, he discovered their secret lifestyle, causing him to question our relationship too.
I’ve been with my fiancé for six years, but we’ve known each other for nine. We were supposed to get married next month, but then everything changed the course of our wedding journey.
We went to visit my parents to introduce him to more of my extended family before the wedding. My parents offered to host us, and we’ve been staying in my old room for the sake of nostalgia.
My fiancé, Adam, wanted to stay at a hotel, but I thought it would be fun to just have him share my old room with me.
“I don’t see why staying in your childhood home is going to change anything,” Adam told me when we were packing for the trip.
“Because it’s going to be my last time with my parents under their roof before I become a married woman. It’s going to be a sentimental moment,” I replied.
“If it gets uncomfortable, I’m just going to check myself into a hotel,” he said casually.
Of course, I didn’t expect what would happen next.
We got to my parents’ home, and everyone was excited to see us. My mother and aunt had cooked up an elaborate meal for us, ready to just sit down at the table and get to know Adam better.
All through dinner, everything went as well as expected, and Adam happily enjoyed having the attention centered around him.
“This is new for me,” he said as we did the dishes in between the mains and dessert. “I’m not used to having people pay attention to me like this.”
“It’s a good thing,” I said, handing him a plate. “You’re supposed to feel welcome and at home with my family, too.”
As the night died down and we all went to bed, ready for a good night’s sleep before the following day’s family outing to the local theme park, Adam kept disturbing my sleep.
“What’s going on?” I asked, turning to face him.
“I just can’t sleep, Sasha,” he snapped. “It’s not my bed, and I’m not used to sleeping in beds that aren’t my own. And your bed is lumpy and uncomfortable.”
“Just go and take a walk outside,” I grumbled. “The fresh air should make a difference, and you’ll come back and fall asleep.”
“Fine,” he said, getting out of bed and leaving the room.
I was just about to fall asleep again when Adam’s scream pierced the air. I bolted upright in bed with my heart racing.
What on earth was going on? Was there someone in the house? Were we in danger?
While my brain was moving a mile a minute, trying to decide what to do next, Adam stormed back into the room.
“What happened?” I blurted out, uneasy.
My fiancé’s face contorted in a mix of horror and anger, and he paused for a minute before he started yelling.
“I cannot believe it,” he yelled. “Your mom! Sasha! Your mother! She’s kissing another man in the foyer!”
My heart sank. I had hoped that we would have gotten through this entire visit without this.
If anything, I had always dreaded this moment, the time when my parents’ unusual and unconventional marriage would come to light.
I tried to explain, to calm him down, but he wouldn’t have it.
“Call your dad, Sasha,” Adam demanded. “Tell him that your mom is cheating right here in your own home.”
It seemed logical, simple even. And I understood why Adam would think that having my father involved would solve everything.
But he couldn’t be further from the truth.
Before I could react and begin navigating the explanation, my mom walked in, still straightening her clothes.
“I can explain,” she started, but my fiancé cut her off.
“Explain? What’s there to explain? You’re cheating on your husband in his own home!”
“It’s not cheating, darling,” she said softly. “Sasha knows, and she’ll explain it all to you. Shaun and my marriage is different. Very different. It’s unconventional compared to your usual marriage. You need to understand that, Adam, before you judge us.”
Adam turned to me, eyes wide.
“You knew? You knew about this, and you didn’t tell me?”
I tried to reach out to him, but he recoiled.
“I didn’t know how to tell you, and I’m not proud of keeping this secret. But it wasn’t mine to tell.”
“Sasha!” he said, his hands in the air. “You should have told me! This isn’t something that you just keep hidden from the person that you’re going to marry. I don’t know if I can trust you now. This was a setup, wasn’t it? You wanted to introduce me to this lifestyle, isn’t it?”
By this point, I was overwhelmed, and I couldn’t understand what Adam was getting at.
I was taken back to a memory from my youth. I was 16, and my friends were planning a sleepover at my home.
“You have the biggest room, Sasha,” my friend Brielle said. “Let’s have it at your place.”
“That’s perfectly fine with me,” I said. “I don’t think my parents will mind at all! And we can watch movies in the living room because my parents have a TV in their room now, so they won’t disturb us.”
“I’ll bring my cotton candy machine,” Brielle said excitedly. “We can have that and popcorn!”
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I remember going home after school and telling my mother all about our plans. She smiled and nodded enthusiastically.
“Sure, honey,” she said. “You girls can take care of yourselves. Dad and I have a dinner that evening.”
Little did I know that later that evening, I would discover the truth about my parents’ marriage.
My friends and I were all sitting on the couch when my parents walked in with another couple. My mother was holding tightly onto a man’s hand as she kicked off her shoes. My father was kissing the other woman.
When they saw me, they were shocked. And they had no choice but to explain the situation to me.
“We are married to each other, and we love each other. We’re committed, honey. But we’re also allowed to see other people if we want to,” my mother explained gently. “There’s nothing wrong with the way we are. And you need to understand that.”
Now, listening to Adam, I was taken back to the same flood of emotions.
“No, it’s nothing like that,” I said. “I am dedicated to you. I don’t want that lifestyle.”
But Adam wasn’t having it. He just wasn’t listening. Instead, he began to speak about his mother’s infidelity which had led to his parents’ divorce. It all made him see betrayal everywhere.
“Everything is a red flag for me, Sasha.”
He packed a bag and left for a hotel, saying that he needed a moment to reevaluate our engagement.
I spent the rest of the night crying, feeling the weight of my parents’ choices crashing down on my own relationship.
“You need to talk to him,” my mother said, giving me a cup of coffee. “Just go to him.”
I joined him at the hotel. We barely spoke, the silence heavy with everything left unsaid. I didn’t know if Adam still wanted to be together or not. I suggested that we move to my grandmother’s house for the rest of our stay so that we could talk about everything while still being comfortable.
“Yeah,” he said. “That’s okay with me because this hotel is too cold anyway.”
There was a coldness between us that hadn’t been there before.
“I’ve never kept secrets from you,” I told him. “I didn’t know how to bring it up. It’s not something that I like talking about because I struggled to understand it myself.”
Adam sighed, rubbing his temples.
“I get it. But this feels too close to home, Sasha,” he said. “I just need some time.”
We spent the rest of the week at my grandmother’s house, trying to finish the family visit in the best spirits we could muster. My parents apologized to Adam, but it didn’t matter anymore.
It wasn’t about them. It was about the fact that their actions had triggered my fiancé. On the drive home, Adam and I decided that we wanted to stay together and see where life took us.
“But I think we need to go to therapy,” I said, handing Adam a drink.
“I think that’s a good idea,” he said, biting his lip. “Because I need to uncover my own trauma before accepting your parents.”
Now, Adam and I have started talking about everything. From his fears, my shame, our future. We could only heal from this.
What would you have done?
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When Carina’s parents kick her out after high school, she has no choice but to navigate her way around life. Years later, after making a success of her life, and her wedding is around the corner, she reaches out to them, only for them to storm into her life, trying to take ownership of what she has worked so hard for.
12 Things That Are Not Worth the Money We Spend on Them
With the help of colorful advertising, manufacturers manage to sell us absolutely useless things. We diligently search for these items on the supermarket shelves, spend a lot of money on them, recommend them to our friends and family, and then we are disappointed to find out that they are totally useless. Or that they work quite well, but are very overpriced.
Women’s antiperspirants
Ads that claim that the formulas of men’s and women’s antiperspirants are significantly different are, to put it mildly, misleading. In fact, companies use only different aromas in the manufacture of these products, but the chemical compounds that neutralize the smell of sweat in all antiperspirants are almost the same. It makes no sense to buy an antiperspirant that is designed specifically for women.
Dietary supplements
Many people take dietary supplements to boost their immune system and improve their health. But in fact, if a person has a healthy diet, they don’t need any additional supplements.
According to doctors, these supplements are not harmful, but their benefits are also questionable. These supplements can’t replace a healthy diet anyway.
Ionic air purifiers
© Ben Baligad / Flickr, © CC BY 2.0 DEED
Ionic air purifiers that are not equipped with filters are not only ineffective, but can also be dangerous to your health. These devices are supposed to capture tiny particles with negatively charged ions, but in return they release small amounts of ozone that can be harmful to breathe in. It’s best to just buy an air purifier with replaceable filters.
Drain cleaners
Drain cleaners are designed to clear clogs, but they actually do more harm than good. The hydrochloric acid in these products can dissolve not only grease and dirt, but also the pipes themselves. In addition, it can ruin your enamel and other bathroom finishes.
And if a blockage is caused by a dense material that has accidentally fallen into the sewerage system, these cleaners will be totally useless. It’s best to get a plunger and a snake, which are more effective.
Screen cleaners for electronics
These cleaners work well, but they are also quite costly. According to experts, you can also use plain water to clean monitors and screens. A microfiber cloth soaked in it cleans surfaces as effectively as a special product.
Woven hampers and laundry baskets
© Michael Coghlan / Flickr, © CC BY-SA 2.0 DEED, © Emily May / Flickr, © CC BY 2.0 DEED
These items look cute, but they are not very convenient to use. If you put too much laundry into the basket, it can become misshapen. In addition, laundry often clings to protruding branches and twigs, so a basket can also ruin your clothes. It’s more sensible to buy a hamper made of dense fabric that can be collapsed when it’s not in use.
Large containers of spices and condiments
Buying spices in large jars seems like a great idea if you want to save the family budget. But spices have a limited shelf life, and we rarely use them in large quantities. So, it’s likely they’ll degrade before you finish them. So, it’s best to buy spices in small containers.
Veggie puffs, rice crackers and other «healthy» chip substitutes
© Kate Hopkins / Flickr, © CC BY 2.0 DEED
All these snacks seem to be a great alternative to chips because they are supposed to be healthy. In reality, however, these snacks contain various additives and oils. Plus, they’re usually high in calories and lack nutrients. It’s better to make carrot sticks or freeze grapes. Such snacks are cheaper and healthier.
Heat protective shampoos
According to some experts, buying shampoos and conditioners with heat protection is a waste of money. They won’t harm your hair, but there are few benefits either. It’s better to buy a heat protective spray, which really helps to protect your curls from the effects of high temperatures.
Buying a moisturizing shampoo can also be a pointless waste of money. The substances used in these products weigh down the strands, so that the hair becomes greasy faster. So, you end up having to wash your hair more often.
Sheet masks
Sheet masks have gained unprecedented popularity. Some women note that the skin really looks better after using them. But in fact, the effect of using masks is temporary, while they cost a lot. At the same time, masks have the same effect as moisturizers and lotions, so it’s financially unreasonable to spend a lot of money on them.
Moisturizers
Excessive use of them not only doesn’t help, but in some cases can even harm your skin. Dermatologists claim that too frequent use of moisturizers can make it difficult to exfoliate dead skin cells, change your skin’s natural balance of water, and slow down the natural production of lipids and proteins. If your skin seems dry, you need to consume enough fluids.
In addition, there is no point of paying more for moisturizers that contain vitamins. Usually, the amount of these substances is too small to somehow affect the condition of the skin. But even if there are a lot of them in the composition, this is also not a plus — vitamins tend to quickly disintegrate under the influence of sunlight and oxygen.
Feminine hygiene products
The delicate parts of a woman’s body don’t need special cosmetic products. Moreover, gels with aromatic additives can break the natural barrier that protects the body from bacteria and infections, and can also cause irritation.
It’s optimal to use plain water for hygiene procedures. Or you can use soap for sensitive skin without any additives and fragrances.
And here is the list of useful items that can make your everyday life so much easier.
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