I’m a full-time mom. About a year ago, I left my job to take care of our three-year-old daughter, who is autistic and requires a lot of support. Lately, I’ve noticed that my usually feminist husband has been criticizing me in a group chat.
Transitioning into the role of a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) wasn’t something I had envisioned for myself. I used to thrive in the fast-paced world of marketing, surrounded by campaigns and fueled by brainstorming sessions over coffee. But all that changed a little over a year ago when my husband, Jake, and I made a significant decision. Our daughter, Lily, who is three and autistic, needed more attention than what her daycare could provide. Her needs are complex, requiring constant care and support, and it became clear that one of us had to be with her full-time.
I won’t sugarcoat it — leaving my career behind was one of the toughest decisions I’ve ever made. I miss the freedom of earning my own income and the satisfaction of a job well done. But here I am now, spending my days planning meals, cooking, and baking. I’ve found joy in these tasks, and experimenting in the kitchen has become my new creative outlet.
Our backyard has turned into a small garden oasis under my care, and I take care of most of the household chores. Jake does his fair share too; he’s actively involved in chores and parenting whenever he’s at home. We’ve always considered ourselves equals, rejecting traditional gender roles, or so I thought until last week.
It was a regular Thursday, and I was tidying up Jake’s home office while he was at work. It’s filled with tech gadgets and piles of paperwork, typical for someone in software development. His computer screen caught my eye — it was still on, casting a soft glow in the dim room. He usually left it on by accident, but what I saw next wasn’t accidental at all.
His Twitter feed was open, and I froze when I saw the hashtag #tradwife attached to a tweet. Confusion washed over me as I read the post. It glorified the joys of having a traditional wife who embraces her domestic duties. Attached was a photo of me, taking a batch of cookies out of the oven, looking every bit like a 1950s housewife. My stomach churned as I scrolled through more posts. There I was again, tending to the garden and reading to Lily, our faces thankfully obscured.
This was Jake’s account, and he had been crafting a whole narrative about our life that was far from reality. He portrayed me as a woman who relished her role as a homemaker, willingly sacrificing her career for aprons and storybooks. The truth of our situation — that this arrangement was a necessity for our daughter’s well-being — was nowhere to be seen.
I felt betrayed. Here was the man I’d loved and trusted for over a decade, sharing our life with strangers under a false pretense that felt foreign to me. It wasn’t just the lies about our relationship dynamics that hurt — it was also the realization that he was using these glimpses of our life to bolster some online persona.
I shut the computer down, my hands trembling with a mix of anger and bewilderment. All day, I grappled with my emotions, trying to comprehend why Jake would do this. Was he dissatisfied with our situation? Did he resent my decision to stay home? Or was it something deeper, a shift in how he perceived me now that I wasn’t contributing financially?
The rest of the day passed in a blur. His posts kept replaying in my mind, and eventually, I couldn’t ignore them any longer. I decided to call him and address everything head-on.
“Jake, we need to talk,” I finally said, trying to keep my voice steady.
He answered, sounding concerned. “What’s wrong?”
I took a deep breath, the weight of my discovery weighing heavily on me. “I saw your Twitter today…”
His expression fell, and he let out a long sigh, indicating he knew exactly what this conversation was about to entail. He started to respond, but I interrupted him.
“Calm down,” he said, dismissing it as “just harmless posting.” That was the final straw. I told him I wanted a divorce, called him out for his deceit, and ended the call.
Jake rushed home immediately. We argued, but with Lily’s strict schedule, I couldn’t let the conflict drag on. He pleaded with me to have a proper conversation after putting Lily to bed. Reluctantly, I agreed. That night, he showed me his phone, revealing that he had deleted the Twitter account. But the damage was already done.
A week passed, and my anger hadn’t subsided. This wasn’t a simple misunderstanding. It was a breach of trust. Jake attempted to explain, claiming it started as a joke, but he got carried away with the attention it garnered. But excuses weren’t enough.
Motivated by a mix of hurt and the need for justice, I decided to expose him. I took screenshots of his tweets and shared them on my Facebook page. I wanted our friends and family to know the truth. My post was straightforward: “Your husband belittles you in front of his friends behind your back. Sound familiar?”
The response was immediate. Our relatives were shocked, and the comments poured in. Jake was inundated with messages and calls. He left work early once more to beg for my forgiveness. He knelt, tears in his eyes, pleading that it was all just a “silly game.”
But I couldn’t let it go. The trust that bound us together was broken. It wasn’t just about a few misguided posts; it was about the respect and understanding we were supposed to have for each other. I told him I needed time and space to think and heal. I moved out with Lily to another apartment.
For six months, Jake begged for forgiveness. He sent messages, left voicemails, and made small gestures to show he was sorry. But sorry wasn’t enough. I told him that if he truly wanted to make amends, we needed to start anew. In my eyes, we were strangers now, and he had to court me like he did years ago when we first met.
So, we began again, slowly. We went on dates, starting with coffee and progressing to dinners. We talked a lot — about everything except the past. It was like rediscovering ourselves individually and as a couple. Jake was patient, perhaps realizing this was his last chance to salvage our once-loving relationship.
As I sit here now, reflecting on the past year, I realize how much I’ve changed. This betrayal forced me to reevaluate not only my marriage but also myself and my needs. I’ve learned that forgiveness isn’t just about accepting an apology; it’s about feeling secure and valued again. It’s a gradual process, one that we’re both committed to, step by step.
What would you have done if you were in my shoes? Share your thoughts on Facebook.
5 Creatures That Can Crawl In Through Your Toilet and How to Stop Them
If you are wondering why bugs and other pests pay your bathroom a visit, it’s because of all the moisture. And when we’re talking about the toilet seat, in particular, many people fail to clean it consistently and in detail. Flushing isn’t enough, since there is the residue left behind and that is enough to attract all the wrong guests.
Bright Side wants you to know that many pests can crawl into your house through your toilet and that there are ways to prevent this from happening.
1. Snakes
Snakes just love cool, wet, and dark places and that’s why your toilet pipes can be very intriguing to them. But, what drives them there in the first place is the sewer that has food remnants that they can feed on. When they are finished with their food in the sewer, they will look for a way out and the pipes are the easiest and quickest route. However, you shouldn’t be afraid if you live in a cold environment, since snakes will only sneak up in toilets in warm countries.
It’s usually harmless snakes that crawl through the pipes, like garden or tree snakes. That’s because these snakes are slimmer than venomous ones and can fit through the pipes. Although, some anacondas have appeared in people’s toilets in South America and Australia.
2. Rats
Like snakes, rats are also in constant pursuit of food and our pipes can be very appealing to them. In houses where the toilet and garbage disposal end up in the same pipes, rats are more likely to find a way in. And because their anatomy is very bendy, they can swim through the pipes and hold their breath for minutes before they need air.
So, it’s not just important to discard your food remnants in a trash bag but to also never flush food down the toilet. If there is no food in the pipes, rats won’t have any reason to try and enter your sewage system. You should also keep the toilet cover closed at all times and maybe install a rat guard. This allows water to exit the pipes whenever you flush, but nothing can come up in the opposite direction.
3. Spiders
With spiders, things get a bit more complex, since they can’t swim in your pipes, but they can appear in your bathroom through another passage. And when they get in, they will probably sit outside the toilet seat. Only black widows will crawl inside the toilet and weave their web from side to side. But, that will happen only in an outdoor toilet that doesn’t have plumbing and that isn’t connected to a sewer system.
That’s where these venomous spiders thrive since there are many flies that they can catch for food. That’s also why you need to always check the seat thoroughly before using an outhouse toilet. Spiders, like the black widow, the brown recluse, and the hobo spider won’t have any trouble biting you.
4. Lizards
In the Southwest United States, lizards coming through the toilet pipes are a quite common occurrence. That’s because these creatures love water and they try to find food wherever they can. Crickets and other insects (like flies) can be found a lot in your toilet’s plumbing if it’s not kept decently clean. The lizards that can achieve this are usually small enough that they can fit through the pipes.
5. Possums
In 2008, a man was in his bathroom in Australia when he saw the water in the toilet gurgling. Moments later, a baby possum appeared and this is not the first time this has happened. On another occasion, a woman found a dead possum in her toilet. These unusual guests are excellent swimmers and can hold their breath for a long time — that’s why they can crawl into your toilet.
How to prevent and react to these occurrences
- Keep your toilet clean: This may sound obvious, but you really need to clean your toilet often and neatly. Disinfecting cleaners are perfect for that job and if you want something cheaper you can resort to white wine vinegar or baking soda. You can also get one of those fresheners that stick on the side of the toilet and release a nice smell every time you flush.
- Keep it dry: Most pests love humidity and that’s why they will be attracted to wet bathroom floors. So, it’s important to get rid of any standing water from the sink or the floor after you’ve taken a shower. If you notice any leaks in your plumbing, call a technician immediately and get them fixed.
- Clean your pipes naturally: In a bowl, add equal parts of sugar, water, vinegar, and 5-10 drops of dish soap. Mix all of this together and pour it down the toilet or in your bathroom sink. You can also pour some boiling water into the toilet.
- Call a pest control company: If you don’t have the time or courage to deal with pests yourself, call professionals and let them use their heavy cleaners. After that is done, you can occasionally throw water mixed with a cleaning solution down the drain to make sure no pest will climb up into the toilet.
Have you ever found an uninvited guest in your toilet — if so, what was it and how did you react?
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