Sometimes, it takes only one shocking revelation or unpleasant situation to make us reconsider a significant life step that we’ve taken. Sadly, this happened to our reader, Lana, on her wedding night. After discovering what her new groom wanted to do on their special evening, Lana became furious and decided to seek advice.
Hi Lana! Thanks for sharing your story with us. We’ve prepared a few tips for you that we think might be able to help you.
Embrace the moment and practice empathy.
Try to see the situation from your groom’s perspective and empathize with his desire to reconnect with his long-lost friend. While his decision may have hurt you initially, recognize that his intentions were likely not to cause harm, but to seize a fleeting opportunity to spend time with someone dear to him.
Take this moment to embrace the love and joy surrounding your marriage, and choose to forgive and move forward together.
Share your feelings calmly.
Lana, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts before addressing the situation. Instead of immediately lashing out, express your feelings to your groom in a calm and composed manner.
Explain to him how you were looking forward to spending your first night together as a married couple and how his actions made you feel neglected.
Create a memorable alternative.
Rather than dwelling on what could have been, seize the opportunity to create a unique and memorable experience for yourselves.
Since your groom wanted to spend time with his friend, suggest a creative compromise that still allows you to celebrate your marriage in a special way. Perhaps now as newlyweds, you could arrange a late-night picnic under the stars in a secluded spot, or book a couples’ massage at the hotel spa.
By thinking outside the box and crafting an alternative plan, you can make up to what happened on your wedding night and turn it into a cherished memory for both of you.
Clearly express your expectations.
It’s important to establish boundaries and expectations within your marriage, especially when it comes to balancing individual friendships and quality time as a couple.
Use this situation as an opportunity to have an open and honest discussion about your respective needs and priorities. Together, set clear limits for future scenarios where unexpected reunions or events may arise.
By proactively addressing potential conflicts and finding mutually agreeable solutions, you can strengthen the foundation of your relationship and prevent similar misunderstandings in the future.
Navigating the journey of newlywed life can pose its challenges, especially when faced with significant life-altering decisions. Take for instance Stacy, a 24-year-old woman and recent bride, who finds herself grappling with such a scenario. Despite her in-laws’ generous offer to purchase a house for them, Stacy hesitates, while her husband views it as an opportunity worth considering. Delve deeper into her story by reading more here.
What Are Witches’ Stairs? A Simple Explanation of This Strange Home Design
Witches’ stairs are a strange but interesting design feature that became popular on TikTok a couple of years ago. Even though they have an unusual history, their name doesn’t really have to do with superstition. Instead, these stairs are a clever design choice. When made and installed correctly, they can be both useful and nice to look at!
Witches’ Stairs aren’t what they Appear.
While the stories about witches’ stairs might sound more interesting, they actually have a very practical purpose. They are really useful in homes with little space, like attics, lofts, and tiny houses. Witches’ stairs are designed to save space while still allowing you to go from one floor to another. Architects often call them “alternate tread stairs.”
How Witches’ Stairs Function
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Witches’ stairs are designed to save space in two ways. First, each step is only half as wide as regular steps, and the steps are staggered. This makes the staircase narrower than a traditional one. These smaller stairs can also be used for extra storage, like for books or displaying items. According to Scott Schuttner, who wrote “Basic Stairbuilding,” the distance between the steps on one side of an alternating-tread stair is twice the height of the rise, which gives you more space on the steps and makes them safer.
Besides being practical, witches’ stairs meet building codes and safety standards in the U.S. A standard staircase is usually 3 feet wide, while a residential witches’ staircase is typically between 27 and 30 inches wide.
Real Origins
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In 1985, a businessman named J.M. Lapeyre created a metal version of witches’ stairs. He thought these stairs could be a safe alternative to ladders in commercial and warehouse settings, especially in tight spaces where ladders might not be safe. This design is also used on commercial ships and oil rigs, and it can be called ship stairs or ship ladders, in addition to witches’ stairs and alternate tread stairs.
Misconception
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When videos of witches’ stairs first appeared on TikTok in 2021, they were linked to an urban legend. According to this legend, these staircases were built in 17th-century Massachusetts to keep witches away during the Salem witch trials because “witches can’t climb up them.” This idea has been proven false, but another rumor suggests that Thomas Jefferson came up with the design. Because of this, witches’ stairs are sometimes called Jeffersonian or Jefferson stairs. However, an original version of the design was also mentioned in a book called “Monckton’s One Plane Method Of Hand Railing and Stair Building,” published in 1888.
Debunking the Myth
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The exact origins of witches’ stairs are a bit unclear, but one thing is clear: there’s no historical evidence that they were designed to keep witches away. Historian Robin Briggs has studied many historical sources and found no mention of stairs that could disable witches. Interestingly, some people with these unique staircases also buried “witch bottles” or included dead cats in their homes for protection against witchcraft, but Briggs calls this idea “pure disinformation.” He notes that the closest belief was that putting a broom over the door would trap a witch inside.
While it’s fun to think about myths and legends, it’s also interesting to know the real history of witches’ stairs. Regardless, they offer a unique and decorative alternative to regular staircases, adding a fun and quirky touch to home design.
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