Laughter truly is the best medicine, and who doesn’t love a good joke to brighten their day? From kids and animals to life’s quirky moments, these 12 jokes are sure to tickle your funny bone.
Whether you’re looking for a quick chuckle or a laugh-out-loud moment, we’ve got you covered. So sit back, relax, and enjoy a collection of humor that’s as diverse as it is hilarious.
Friends laughing at something on a cell phone | Source: Pexels
The Parrot and the Burglar
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house. As he tiptoed through the living room, a booming voice stopped him in his tracks: “Jesus is watching you!”
Terrified, he froze, but when silence returned, he crept forward again.
The voice echoed once more, “Jesus is watching you!”
Panicking, the burglar scanned the room and spotted a parrot in a cage.
“Was that you?” he asked.
A burglar holding his hands against his head | Source: Pexels
“Yes,” the parrot replied.
Relieved, the burglar asked, “What’s your name?”
“Moses,” said the bird.
“Moses? That’s a dumb name for a parrot. What idiot named you that?”
A parrot in a birdcage | Source: Pexels
The parrot squawked, “The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus.”
Moses’ quick wit is just the start of this laughter-filled journey. As we turn the page to the next joke, prepare for a story that combines a bit of mystery with a generous dose of hilarity. Hold onto your sides as we dive into this playful tale by the cemetery.
The Nutty Cemetery Mix-Up
Two boys were sitting behind a nut tree near a cemetery fence, dividing a bucket of nuts. The bucket was so full that some nuts fell out and rolled away, ending up near the fence. The boys ignored them for now and continued dividing the nuts in the bucket.
Nuts lying on grass | Source: Pexels
“One for you, one for me,” they chanted.
A third boy cycling by heard the voices and thought, “It’s Satan and St. Peter dividing souls!” Terrified, he rushed to an old man further down the road. After much persuasion, the old man hobbled over with him to see what the boy was talking about.
Peering through the fence, they heard, “One for you, one for me…”
Trembling, the old man whispered, “This is real!”
A shocked elderly man peering through a fence | Source: Midjourney
But just as they braced themselves, the boys finished dividing the nuts and said, “Now let’s fetch the ones by the fence.”
The old man reportedly made it back to town five minutes before the boy.
Those mischievous boys by the cemetery certainly knew how to spark some laughs. But now, let’s shift gears to a family situation with a humorous twist. This next joke shows just how creative (or not) some relatives can be when left in charge.
The Twin Naming Fiasco
A man attending a conference overseas got the news that his wife had given birth to twins. Excited, he called her and asked, “Who took you to the hospital?”
A happy man speaking on his cell phone | Source: Pexels
“Your brother, Joe,” she replied. “And since I was under anesthesia, he also named the babies.”
Horrified, the husband exclaimed, “Joe’s a moron! What did he name them?”
“Well, we have a girl and a boy. He named the girl Deniece.”
“That’s not so bad. What about the boy?”
A thoughtful man speaking on his cell phone | Source: Pexels
“Joe called him De-nephew.”
Joe’s naming antics were nothing short of entertaining, weren’t they? But hold on, because this next tale introduces a farmer who takes communication to a whole new level. Get ready to laugh as a lawyer struggles to decode a farmer’s quirky requests.
The Farmer’s Divorce Dilemma
A farmer walked into a lawyer’s office and said, “I want a day-vorce.”
A farmer standing in a lawyer’s office | Source: Midjourney
The lawyer asked, “What grounds do you have?”
“About 140 acres,” the farmer replied.
Exasperated, the lawyer asked, “Do you have a grudge?”
“Sure do—that’s where I park my tractor.”
Finally, the lawyer shouted, “Why do you want a divorce?”
A lawyer leaning on his desk, looking frustrated | Source: Pexels
The farmer sighed, “I can never have a meaningful conversation with her.”
The farmer’s take on communication left us in stitches, but the humor doesn’t stop there. This time, we’re jumping into the world of a frog with an unusual destiny. Get ready for a ribbit-ing prediction that’s bound to crack you up.
The Frog’s Unfortunate Prediction
A frog called a psychic hotline.
A frog on a table | Source: Pexels
He was thrilled when the psychic told him, “In the next month, you’ll meet a beautiful young woman. She’s going to be fascinated by you and want to know everything about you.”
“Where will I meet her?” the frog asked eagerly. “Will we be at a party? Or, maybe she’ll be strolling past my home?”
The psychic replied, “None of those. You’ll meet her in her biology class next semester.”
A woman speaking into a headset microphone | Source: Pexels
Just when you thought things couldn’t get more unexpected, we’ve got a wartime confession that’s equal parts surprising and amusing. This joke reveals how even serious situations can take a turn for the hilariously awkward. Let’s dive in.
The Never-Ending War
A man in Amsterdam confessed to his priest, “During WWII, I hid a refugee in my attic.”
“That’s not a sin,” the priest reassured him. “You helped someone in need.”
A priest listening to a confession | Source: Pexels
“But I charged him 20 Gulden a week,” the man added.
“That wasn’t good, but you still saved his life,” said the priest.
The man lets out a deep sigh. “I can’t tell you how relieved I am to hear you say that. But tell me, Father, do I have to tell him the war’s over?” asked the man.
A man confessing his sins to a priest | Source: Pexels
That moral dilemma from WWII had quite the twist, didn’t it? Now, let’s step into the workplace for a story of pure comedic misfortune. Brace yourself for a laugh-out-loud moment that could only happen to someone truly unlucky.
The Iron Phone Incident
Mark showed up to work with two red, sore ears.
His coworker asked, “What happened?”
A man working on a construction site glancing to one side | Source: Pexels
Mark explained, “I was ironing while watching TV. When the phone rang, I picked up the iron instead.”
“And the other ear?”
“The guy called back.”
Mark’s phonecall mishap had us in tears, but this next one takes us to a fast-food joint where sharing gets a hilarious spin. Get ready for a tale of an elderly couple who redefine the concept of “togetherness” in the quirkiest way possible.
Sharing is Caring
An elderly couple walked into a fast-food restaurant and ordered one burger and a small order of fries. As they sat down, they carefully split everything: the burger, the fries, even the drink.
A burger and fries on a table | Source: Pexels
A trucker watching nearby felt sorry for them and offered to buy the wife her own meal.
The husband politely declined, saying, “Oh, no, thank you. We share everything.”
A few minutes later, the trucker noticed that while the husband was eating, the wife hadn’t touched a bite.
Concerned, he asked, “Why aren’t you eating?”
A trucker seated in a fast-food restaurant | Source: Midjourney
The wife replied sharply, “Because I’m waiting for the teeth!”
From fast-food hilarity to a nocturnal adventure, this next joke is a real screamer—or should we say squeaker? Join us as we enter the world of bats with a twist that’s both dark and uproarious.
The Blind Bat
A vampire bat returned to his cave covered in blood, only to be hounded by others asking where he got the blood.
Bats hanging in a cave | Source: Pexels
Finally, he led them through a forest and pointed to a tree.
“Do you see that tree?” he asked.
“YES!” they screamed.
“Good,” he said, “because I didn’t!”
That bat’s nocturnal adventure was one for the books, but now it’s time for a lighter laugh. This next joke involves flowers, sympathy, and a classic case of mixed messages that’ll leave you grinning.
The Florist’s Card Mix-Up
A store owner was thrilled to receive a bouquet of flowers on the opening day of his new business.
A bouquet with a card | Source: Pexels
However, his excitement turned to confusion when he read the card attached: “Deepest Sympathy.”
Puzzled, the man called the florist to report the mistake. The florist apologized profusely and said, “I’m so sorry about that! Your card must have been sent to the funeral home instead.”
The store owner asked, “What did that card say?”
A man holding a note while making a phone call | Source: Pexels
The florist replied, “‘Congratulations on your new location.'”
Florists may have their missteps, but wait until you hear about this lawyer with a name that’s as clever as his joke. This next tale is all about wordplay and a fitting tribute with a punchline to match.
The Honest Lawyer
A lawyer named Strange ordered a tombstone inscribed, “Here lies an honest man and a lawyer.”
The stonecutter refused, saying, “It’s illegal to bury two people in one grave. But I can write, ‘Here lies an honest lawyer.'”
A man ordering a tombstone | Source: Midjourney
The lawyer protested, “How will people know it’s me?”
The stonecutter replied, “Easy. They’ll read it and say, ‘That’s Strange!'”
We’ve had clever wordplay and hilarious mix-ups, but now it’s time to finish strong with a tale of extreme conditions and an unexpected celebration. Buckle up for this finale that’s sure to leave you laughing out loud.
The Farmer in Hell
A farmer from Texas found himself in hell after he passed away. The Devil was surprised to find the farmer unfazed and smiling in the heat.
A farmer relaxing in Hell | Source: Midjourney
“Why are you so happy?” asked the Devil.
The farmer replied, “This feels just like a hot June day back home when I’m plowing my fields.”
Annoyed, the Devil increased the heat to 105 degrees with stifling humidity. Yet the farmer continued to smile no matter how high the Devil cranked up the heat.
Finally, the Devil decided to freeze hell over, setting the temperature to a bone-chilling -10 degrees.
Frozen lava | Source: Midjourney
To the Devil’s surprise, the farmer began running around and shouting with joy.
“What are you so happy about now?” the Devil demanded.
The farmer shouted, “The Cowboys must’ve won the Super Bowl!”
Whether it’s a parrot outsmarting a burglar or a farmer making the Devil sweat, these stories are sure to brighten your day.
Two women laughing together | Source: Pexels
So, share them with friends, family, or coworkers, and keep the laughter going. After all, life’s too short not to laugh out loud!
Keep the laughs coming with these jokes about bars, jobs, and quirky animals.
The sultry Heather Thomas of ‘The Fall Guy’ struggled with addiction – but look at her now, at 66
Heather Thomas, who turned 66 on September 8, was well-known for her leading part opposite Lee Majors in The Fall Guy and was expected to have a very successful Hollywood career.
However, the stunning blonde hurried to the hospital, thinking her father had an emergency, when the actor’s mother appeared on set during the filming of the show’s conclusion.
She was informed by her relatives and friends who met her at the Santa Monica hospital that her father, Leon, was doing well and that they were worried about her.
This was only the start of a new adventure for the 28-year-old woman, whose job and personal life had totally changed as a result of her hospital stay.
Discover what became of the 1980s pinup girl by continuing to read!
With a natural beauty and ability comparable to that of Farrah Fawcett and Heather Locklear, Heather Thomas pursued her passion.
When the girl was just 14 years old, she presented the talk show Talking with a Giant on NBC, where she and four other teenagers conducted celebrity interviews.
Thomas, now 66, studied theater and cinema at UCLA with the goal of advancing her career as an actor, director, and writer. The year before she graduated, she made an appearance in the short-lived comedy series Co-Ed Fever (1979).
The Connecticut-born performer landed her first major part in 1980 in the television series The Fall Guy, supporting Lee Majors, who became well-known throughout the world in the 1970s for his portrayal of Steven Austin in The Six Million Dollar Man.
As the popular action show’s stuntwoman-bounty hunter Jody Banks, Thomas was adored by men who saw her as a sex symbol—a label about which she acknowledges she feels conflicted.
Thomas told People that there was “obligatory condescension that goes with that.” “The blonde bimbo is a stereotype that you fit into. But I was simply enjoying myself at the moment.
Regretfully, she was enjoying herself excessively when using drugs, a tendency that predates her portrayal of Jody Banks.
Her history with drugs began in the sixth grade, when she began abusing narcotics to keep her grades at the top. “I was taking acid and getting straight As,” Thomas declared. I simply believed it to be mind-blowing.
Her drug use changed as her mentality matured from that of a child to an adult.
Thomas began taking cocaine while she was a student at UCLA, and her drug use worsened in 1981, a year after she started filming The Fall Guy.
Additionally, the 5-foot-7 Thomas developed an obsession with weight and began taking Lasix, a diuretic that may produce extreme sleepiness, feeling as though she had to live up to her reputation as a sex symbol.
She took additional cocaine to give her an energy boost in order to combat the sluggishness.
“At first, I was still getting used to the medicine. I thought I was receiving a good deal on my purchase. She asserted that she had never used cocaine on site and that it had allowed her to work through the night. It is not permitted to use cocaine on sets. It’s no longer clubby to carry it out. It’s merely a personal torment.
A person close to the performer told People that her drug usage was hurting her career, despite her statements to the contrary. According to the source, “word was out on Heather.” “People were aware of her issue.”
Between takes, Thomas’s weight plummeted from 125 to 105 pounds and he was fast asleep. Thomas said, “I was in a minicoma sometimes.”
Subsequently, she fainted in front of Majors, who subsequently contacted her manager and her mother.
Her mother, Gladdy Ryder, a former special education teacher, showed up on the set of The Fall Guy to tell her daughter that her father was in the hospital after the series finale concluded.
The writer of “Trophies” hurried to St. John’s Hospital, where she was welcomed by relatives and friends who were prepared to have her admitted into the three-week drug program.
Thomas remarked of that day, “It was a big relief to me.” She also mentioned that she had pneumonia, scarred lungs, and swollen kidneys when she checked into detox. “I wanted to get off the roller coaster I’d been on.” I most likely would have continued on my merry way till I lost my job or passed away if my family hadn’t stepped in.
“The doctors said I should have died three years ago,” she continued.
Thomas, who was dedicated to her recovery, surrounded herself with people who shared her values and would help her achieve her drug-free objectives. That’s when Allan Rosenthal, a co-founder of Cocaine Anonymous, and 28-year-old Thomas first met. She later got married to him and filed for divorce in September 1986.
She was hit by a car while crossing the street that same month, severely injuring both of her legs.
Following her detox, divorce, and surgery to heal severe damage to one leg, Thomas resumed her career, albeit in minor roles in TV shows. She also starred in movies including the 1987 movie Cyclone and the 1990 Canadian movie Red Blooded American Girl, which starred Christopher Plummer.
After putting her past behind her, Thomas made a fresh start in the 1990s. In an effort to further her career, she married entertainment attorney Skip Brittenham in 1992. In June 2000, Thomas gave birth to her only biological child, India Rose, while also assuming the role of stepmother to his two daughters, Kristina and Shauna.
“I decided to give it up and write for a while,” she told Reuters, “because I had about 45 restraining orders out, and I was on everything from a toilet seat cover to an ashtray—and I was in love, and [then] had two little girls.”
With a primary focus on writing, the actress from Zapped! claimed that frequent privacy violations by stalkers drove her away from acting, rather than a lack of roles.
“I was being really harassed. One day, I witnessed a person use a knife to scale the fence. That was it; I had these two small kids who needed to be raised so badly. However, I believe that now that I am older, people won’t annoy me as much.
In addition, Thomas is currently an activist, having previously served on the boards of the Amazon Conservation Team and the Rape Foundation.
Declaring oneself a feminist—a deceptive term for a former gender symbol—Thomas elucidated the significance of both.
“When I was younger, I followed people’s instructions, but as I grew older, I refused to compromise.” I desired independence and control. This got me a house and the recognition I needed to open doors. Having people see your body is not inherently bad. I don’t believe I deceived myself. Being a feminist, in my opinion, does not entail body shame, the woman stated.
Although it’s really unfortunate that Heather Thomas was unable to return to the acting world, we’re glad she received the support she required and is now embarking on a lifelong healing process.
We really enjoyed watching her as Jody Banks in The Fall Guy with the Six Million Dollar Man Lee Majors, one of the many amazing shows from the 1980s!
What you have to say about Thomas and her recuperation would be greatly appreciated!
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