A lot of big, tragic and important things have happened to this wonderful country of ours since April 2014. None of which I have covered. I was too busy writing about hungover parenting, ancient philosophy and my dog Colin.
Out of the 536 columns I have written, 27 were about that guy. Far too few. He is such a good boy, he deserves an article a week.
Today is the end of an era for me, and whenever these final events pop up in our lives, we can’t help but think about the ultimate end.
Everything we do, we will one day do for the last time. That’s why you have to enjoy things while they are around. It’s not just big events like leaving a job, house or loved one either. Whatever moment you happen to be in now, you will never get it back, and you don’t know how many more you have.
Everything we do in life, from eating pizza to spending time with the people we love, to driving, writing, drinking or breathing, we will one day experience for the final time. It might happen tomorrow. This can be either a depressing or an inspiring thought, depending on how you look at it.
A few years back in this column, I interviewed professor of philosophy William B Irvine, of Wright State University, Ohio, on this very topic. He put it this way on a Zoom call: “Recognition of the impermanence of everything in life can invest the things we do with a significance and intensity that would otherwise be absent. The only way we can be truly alive is if we make it our business periodically to entertain thoughts of the end.”
Today’s column is very meaningful to me because it is my last. Like the last night with a lover before she goes overseas. And just like a lover, there have been some half-arsed efforts put in from me over the years. Last week, for example, I spent 750 words moaning about how bad my cricket team is. But the truth is that any of my columns could have been the final. If I had reminded myself every week for the past 10 years that the end is inevitable, I may have been more grateful for having a column and appreciated writing them all as much as I am this one.
While everything we do could have more meaning with a focus on finitude, some things are inherently more worthwhile than others. There is no doubt my column “The pros and cons of wearing Speedos” from November 2022 was less meaningful than most things in this world. That was a waste of everyone’s time. So, if we only have so much time, how do we pick the best things to do?
Well, Oliver Burkeman, the author of Four Thousand Weeks – Time Management For Mortals, suggested this to me in a 2022 column: “Ask yourself, does this choice enlarge me? You usually know on some unspoken level if it does. That’s a good way to distinguish between options.”
With that in mind, I don’t feel great about my 2018 article on “New Zealand’s best hole”. That didn’t enlarge anyone.
There will be people reading this column right now who have loved my writing in the Herald and are sad to see it end. Others will have hated it and are glad to see me go. Many won’t have any opinion at all. But for those in the first camp, I have good news. I have a book coming out on May 28 called A Life Less Punishing – 13 Ways To Love The Life You Got (Allen and Unwin Book Publishers). It’s a deep dive into the history, philosophy and science of not wasting our time lost in anger, loneliness, humiliation, stress, fear, boredom and all the other ways we find to not enjoy perfectly good lives. It’s available for pre-order right now (google it if you’re interested).
A Life Less Punishing took me two years to write and is equivalent in words to 100 of these columns. Which would be a complete nightmare for those in the hate camp, but as I say, great news for those who want more.
Anyway, thanks to the Herald for having me, thanks to the lovely people who make an effort to say nice things to me about my column nearly every day and thanks to the universe for every single second we get.
Bless!
You Won’t Believe the Emotional Tribute: Reba McEntire’s Band Members Remembered in Heartfelt Tribute!
Reba McEntire knows what it’s like to go through tough times. In 1991, something really sad happened to her. While she was performing at a big event in San Diego, a plane crash happened after the show. Her tour manager and seven band members, who were like family to her, died in the crash.
The crash happened on March 16, 1991, right after Reba and her band gave an amazing performance.
After the show, some of the band members were supposed to fly to Fort Wayne, Indiana, for the next concert. Reba, her husband Narvel Blackstock, and her stylist Sandi Spika stayed in San Diego for the night. They didn’t get on the plane that crashed.
In 2012, Reba McEntire talked about what happened in a sad interview with Oprah Winfrey. The second plane that took off safely reached its destination.
But sadly, the first plane crashed only ten miles away from the airport. This crash changed the lives of the people left behind forever.
Reba told Oprah that the first plane crashed into a boulder on the edge of Otay Mountain, and everyone on board died. When they heard the news, Reba’s husband Narvel talked to their pilot.
Narvel came back to the hotel room late at night, around two or three in the morning, where Reba was waiting. The tragedy made the atmosphere heavy. Narvel told Reba that one of the planes crashed.
Reba asked about their friends, hoping they were okay. But Narvel’s answer made her lose hope. He said, “I don’t think so,” which made them both feel unsure.
Reba and Narvel wanted to know all the details about what happened to their loved ones. Reba’s voice shook with real sadness as she talked about how Narvel looked for answers on the phone. She said, “It’s been 20 years, but the sadness never really goes away.” Reba remembered how Narvel paced around, feeling really sad.
Reba found comfort in her close friends, like Vince Gill and Dolly Parton. After the tragedy, they offered to help finish the tour, but Reba said no.
Instead, she focused on healing herself. She poured her heart into her next album, “For My Broken Heart.” It was a way to remember her lost friends and show her love for them.
The album did really well. It debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard Top Country Albums chart and sold four million copies.
Every year, Reba McEntire remembers the people who died in a sad incident. She uses social media to keep their memory alive. In 2014, she made a special post on Instagram to remember the anniversary of the crash.
Then, in 2016, on the 25th anniversary of the tragedy, Reba went to San Diego, a place that was important to her because of what happened. She shared this important journey on social media with her fans, so they could see how she was doing.
Reba wrote a heartfelt message herself. She said, “Today is the 25th anniversary of the plane crash. I went back to San Diego in November and took a helicopter to the crash site. I felt like the people who died knew how much we miss them. I send my condolences and prayers to all the families and friends affected by this tragedy.”
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