I was stunned when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule to help me “become a better wife.” But instead of blowing up, I played along. Little did Jake know, I was about to teach him a lesson that would make him rethink his newfound approach to marriage.
I’ve always prided myself on being the level-headed one in our marriage. Jake, bless his heart, could get swept up in things pretty easily, whether it was a new hobby, or some random YouTube video that promised to change his life in three easy steps.
But we were solid until Jake met Steve. Steve was the type of guy who thought being loudly opinionated made him right, the type that talks right over you when you try to correct him.
He was also a perpetually single guy (who could have guessed?), who graciously dispensed relationship advice to all his married colleagues, Jake included. Jake should’ve known better, but my darling husband was positively smitten with Steve’s confidence.
I didn’t think much of it until Jake started making some noxious comments.
“Steve says relationships work best when the wife takes charge of the household,” he’d say. Or “Steve thinks it’s important for women to look good for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.”
I’d roll my eyes and reply with some sarcastic remark, but it was getting under my skin. Jake was changing. He’d arch his eyebrows if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, and sigh when I let the laundry pile up because, God forbid, I had my own full-time job.
And then it happened. One night, he came home with The List.
He sat me down at the kitchen table, unfolded a piece of paper, and slid it across to me.
“I’ve been thinking,” he started, his voice dripping with a condescending tone I hadn’t heard from him before. “You’re a great wife, Lisa. But there’s room for improvement.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Oh really?”
He nodded, oblivious to the danger zone he was entering. “Yeah. Steve helped me realize that our marriage could be even better if you, you know, stepped up a bit.”
I stared at the paper in front of me. It was a schedule… and he’d written “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife” at the top in bold.
This guy had actually sat down and mapped out my entire week based on what Steve — a single guy with zero relationship experience — thought I should do to “improve” myself as a wife.
I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. every day to make Jake a gourmet breakfast. Then I’d hit the gym for an hour to “stay in shape.”
After that? A delightful lineup of chores: cleaning, laundry, ironing. And that was all before I left for work. I was supposed to cook a meal from scratch every evening and make fancy snacks for Jake and his friends when they came over to hang out at our place.
The whole thing was sexist and insulting on so many levels I didn’t even know where to start. I ended up staring at him, wondering if my husband had lost his mind.
“This will be great for you, and us,” he continued, oblivious.
“Steve says it’s important to maintain structure, and I think you could benefit from —”
“I could benefit from what?” I interrupted, my voice dangerously calm. Jake blinked, caught off guard by the interruption, but he recovered quickly.
“Well, you know, from having some guidance and a schedule.”
I wanted to throw that paper in his face and ask him if he’d developed a death wish. Instead, I did something that surprised even me: I smiled.
“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’m so lucky that you made me this schedule. I’ll start tomorrow.”
The relief on his face was instant. I almost felt sorry for him as I got up and stuck the list on the fridge. Almost. He had no idea what was coming.
The next day, I couldn’t help but smirk as I studied the ridiculous schedule again. If Jake thought he could hand me a list of “improvements,” then he was about to find out just how much structure our life could really handle.
I pulled out my laptop, opened up a fresh document, and titled it, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” He wanted a perfect wife? Fine. But there was a cost to perfection.
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I began by listing all the things he had suggested for me, starting with the gym membership he was so keen on. It was laughable, really.
“$1,200 for a personal trainer.” I typed, barely containing my giggle.
Next came the food. If Jake wanted to eat like a king, that wasn’t happening on our current grocery budget. Organic, non-GMO, free-range everything? That stuff didn’t come cheap.
“$700 per month for groceries,” I wrote. He’d probably need to chip in for a cooking class too. Those were pricey, but hey, perfection wasn’t free.
I leaned back in my chair, laughing to myself as I imagined Jake’s face when he saw this. But I wasn’t done. Oh no, the pièce de résistance was still to come.
See, there was no way I could juggle all these expectations while holding down my job. If Jake wanted me to dedicate myself full-time to his absurd routine, then he’d have to compensate for the loss of my income.
I pulled up a calculator, estimating the value of my salary. Then, I added it to the list, complete with a little note: “$75,000 per year to replace Lisa’s salary since she will now be your full-time personal assistant, maid, and chef.”
My stomach hurt from laughing at this point.
And just for good measure, I threw in a suggestion about him needing to expand the house. After all, if he was going to have his friends over regularly, they’d need a dedicated space that wouldn’t intrude on my newly organized, impossibly structured life.
“$50,000 to build a separate ‘man cave’ so Jake and his friends don’t disrupt Lisa’s schedule.”
By the time I was done, the list was a masterpiece. A financial and logistical nightmare, sure, but a masterpiece nonetheless. It wasn’t just a counterattack — it was a wake-up call.
I printed it out, set it neatly on the kitchen counter, and waited for Jake to come home. When he finally walked through the door that evening, he was in a good mood.
“Hey, babe,” he called out, dropping his keys on the counter. He spotted the paper almost immediately. “What’s this?”
I kept my face neutral, fighting the urge to laugh as I watched him pick it up. “Oh, it’s just a little list I put together for you,” I said sweetly, “to help you become the best husband ever.”
Jake chuckled, thinking I was playing along with his little game. But as he scanned the first few lines, the grin started to fade. I could see the wheels turning in his head, the slow realization that this wasn’t the lighthearted joke he thought it was.
“Wait… what is all this?” He squinted at the numbers, his eyes widening as he saw the total costs. “$1,200 for a personal trainer? $700 a month for groceries? What the hell, Lisa?”
I leaned against the kitchen island, crossing my arms.
“Well, you want me to wake up at 5 a.m., hit the gym, make gourmet breakfasts, clean the house, cook dinner, and host your friends. I figured we should budget for all of that, don’t you think?”
His face turned pale as he flipped through the pages. “$75,000 a year? You’re quitting your job?!”
I shrugged. “How else am I supposed to follow your plan? I can’t work and be the perfect wife, right?”
He stared at the paper, dumbfounded.
The numbers, the absurdity of his own demands, it all hit him at once. His smugness evaporated, replaced by a dawning realization that he had seriously, seriously messed up.
“I… I didn’t mean…” Jake stammered, looking at me with wide eyes. “Lisa, I didn’t mean for it to be like this. I just thought —”
“You thought what? That I could ‘improve’ myself like some project?” My voice was calm, but the hurt behind it was real. “Jake, marriage isn’t about lists or routines. It’s about respect. And if you ever try to ‘fix’ me like this again, you’ll be paying a hell of a lot more than what’s on that paper.”
Silence hung in the air, thick and uncomfortable. Jake’s face softened, his shoulders slumping as he let out a deep sigh.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t realize how ridiculous it was. Steve made it sound sensible, but now I see it’s… it’s toxic. Oh God, I’ve been such a fool.”
I nodded, watching him carefully. “Yes, you have. Honestly, have you looked at Steve’s life? What makes you think he has the life experience to give you advice about marriage? Or anything else?”
The look on his face as my words hit home was priceless.
“You’re right. And he could never afford to live like this.” He slapped the list with the back of his hand. “He… he has no idea about the costs involved, or how demeaning this is. Oh, Lisa, I got carried away again, didn’t I?”
“Yes, but we’ll recover. Now, let’s tear that paper up and go back to being equals.”
He smiled weakly, the tension breaking just a little. “Yeah… let’s do that.”
We ripped up the list together, and for the first time in weeks, I felt like we were back on the same team.
Maybe this was what we needed, a reminder that marriage isn’t about one person being “better” than the other. It’s about being better together.
I Met a Man at a Speed Dating Event – When I Showed His Photo to My Mom, She Instantly Contacted the Police
After a fun night of speed dating, I showed my mom a photo of the guy I met. She freaked out and immediately called 911. I was shaken, but what I discovered the next day when things got really wild left me gasping for air.
My palms were sweating as I smoothed down my dress for the hundredth time. The restaurant’s dim lighting couldn’t hide the anxiety radiating from the other speed daters around me. At 30, I never thought I’d be here, but my best friend Lily’s persistent nagging had finally worn me down.
“You’ve got this, Selena,” I whispered to myself, taking a deep breath. The bitter scent of wine and the soft clink of glasses filled the air, doing little to calm my nerves.
The bell rang with a shrill sound that made me jump. It signaled the start of our first round.
I plastered on my best smile as a tall, dark-haired man slid into the seat across from me. My breath hitched as our eyes met.
“Hi, I’m Robin.”
I felt an instant spark, like electricity coursing through my veins. “Selena. Nice to meet you.”
I found myself leaning in as we chatted, captivated by his stories and wit. He spoke of his work as a software engineer, his love for rock climbing, and his dreams of traveling the world.
With each word, I felt myself falling deeper under his spell.
When the bell rang again, Robin stood up, hesitation brimming in his eyes as he gripped the back of the chair.
“Listen, I know this is unconventional, but would you like to grab a coffee after this? I’d love to continue our conversation.”
My cheeks flushed, and my heart raced. “I’d really like that. Tomorrow? I said, feeling the heat creep into my cheeks as he kissed the back of my hand.
“Sure! Will be waiting for you in the café downtown!”
As we left the restaurant later that night, I couldn’t shake the feeling that my life was about to change forever.
The next afternoon, I couldn’t stop smiling as I recounted my evening to my mom, Daisy.
“He sounds wonderful, honey,” she said, her eyes crinkling with happiness. “I haven’t seen you this excited about someone in years.”
“I know, Mom. There’s just something about Robin. It’s like… like I’ve known him my whole life.”
“Well, don’t get ahead of yourself. But I am happy for you. Do you have a picture?”
“Oh! Yeah, we took a selfie.” I pulled out my phone, swiping to find the photo. My heart fluttered as I looked at Robin’s smiling face. “Here he is!”
The moment I turned the screen towards her, Mom’s face turned pale.
“Mom? What’s wrong?” I freaked out.
Her eyes were wide with panic, fixed on the phone screen. “Selena, oh my God… it’s HIM. The man who robbed my friend Janet! CALL THE POLICE RIGHT NOW!”
“What? No, that can’t be right.” I shook my head, confusion and disbelief warring inside me.
“I’m telling you, it’s him! He conned Janet out of her life savings. Promised to marry her, took every penny she had, and then vanished! We need to call the police right now, honey!”
My stomach dropped, a cold dread seeping into my bones. “Are you sure?” I asked, desperately hoping she was mistaken.
“Positive. Janet showed me his picture a hundred times when we were trying to track him down. I’d never forget that face.”
I stared at Robin’s smiling face on my phone, feeling sick. The warm brown eyes that had seemed so kind now looked calculating. The charming smile now seemed sinister. How could I have been so blind?
Mom reached for her phone, her fingers shaking as she started to dial 911. Without thinking, I grabbed her wrist, stopping her. “Mom, wait!”
“What do you mean, wait? We need to turn him in!”
“If we call now, he might get spooked and disappear again,” I said slowly, a plan forming in my mind. “But, what if we set a trap?”
Mom’s eyebrows shot up. “What are you thinking?”
“I have a date with him tomorrow night. What if I go, act normal, and you call the police to meet us there?”
She hesitated, worry etching lines across her forehead. “I don’t like the idea of you being alone with him. He’s dangerous, Selena.”
“It’ll be in a public place, Mom,” I assured her, even as my heart raced at the thought. “And think about it. This might be our only chance to catch him. To get justice for Janet and who knows how many others.”
After a long moment, she nodded, fear still lingering in her eyes.
As we began to plot our plan, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was balancing on a knife’s edge. One wrong move and everything could come crashing down.
The next evening, I sat across from Robin at a cozy café, my nerves on edge. He looked as handsome as ever in a blue shirt that brought out his eyes.
But now, his charming smile made my skin crawl. Every compliment and every gentle touch of his hand on mine felt like a lie.
“You look beautiful!” Robin said, reaching for my hand across the table.
I forced myself not to flinch away, plastering on a smile that felt more like a grimace. “Thank you. You look nice too.”
As he launched into a story about his day, I discreetly texted Mom under the table, “Now!”
“So, tell me more about your family,” I said, desperate to keep the conversation going.
A shadow seemed to pass over Robin’s face so quickly that I almost missed it. “It’s complicated,” he said after a moment.
Before I could probe further, I saw two uniformed officers enter the café.
They approached our table, and Robin’s easy smile faltered. “Is there a problem, officers?” he asked, his eyes darting between them and me.
One of them stepped forward, his hand resting on his belt. “Sir, we need you to come with us for questioning.”
“Selena, what’s going on?”
“I’m sorry, Robin. But we know what you did to Janet. And probably to countless other women.”
I thought this was it. But what happened next left me reeling.
After a tense conversation with the officers, during which Robin vehemently denied knowing any Janet, they released him. And he walked back to our table.
“Selena, I don’t understand. Who’s Janet? What’s this all about?”
I blinked, utterly lost. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. He was supposed to be led away in handcuffs, not standing here looking at me like I’d betrayed him.
“The woman you conned. My mom’s friend. You… you took everything from her.”
Robin shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “I’ve never met anyone named Janet in my life. But, wait a minute, I think I know what happened here.”
He pulled out his phone, his fingers flying across the screen. After a moment, he turned it towards me. I gasped, my hand flying to my mouth.
The photo showed two identical men — Robin, and another who could have been his clone. Same eyes, smile, and same everything.
But while Robin looked relaxed and happy in the photo, his double had an edge to him, a hardness in his eyes that sent a chill down my spine.
“That’s my twin brother, Adrian,” Robin revealed. “We haven’t spoken in over six months. He’s had some trouble with the law. I’ve been trying to help him, but he disappeared. I think he might be the one you’re looking for.”
I felt the blood drain from my face, shame and horror cloaking me in equal measure. “Oh my God. Robin, I’m so sorry. I thought—”
He held up a hand, cutting me off. “It’s okay. I understand. Anyone would have done the same thing in your shoes.”
But I could see the hurt in his eyes. I’d accused him of being a criminal and had the police come after him. Would he ever forgive me?
As if on cue, Mom burst into the café, her eyes wild as she scanned the room. When she spotted us, she rushed over, stopping short when she saw Robin still sitting there.
“What’s going on? Why isn’t he in custody?”
I stood up, placing a hand on her arm. “Mom, we made a mistake. A big one.”
Robin stood as well, offering his hand to my mother. “Mrs…?”
“Daisy,” Mom said, frowning.
“Mrs. Daisy, I understand there’s been a misunderstanding. I’m not the man who hurt your friend. But I think I might know who did.”
He showed her the photo, and I watched as the same shock I’d felt played across Mom’s face.
“I can’t believe it,” she murmured, looking between Robin and his brother’s picture. “They’re identical.”
“Adrian and I… we’ve always been close. Or we were. But lately, he’s been making some bad choices. I’ve been trying to help him, but he disappeared a few months ago. I’ve been worried sick.”
I reached out, touching his arm before I could stop myself. “I’m so sorry for putting you through this, Robin. I feel terrible.”
He gave me a small smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Don’t. You were trying to do the right thing. To protect others from being hurt.”
Mom shook her head, sinking into a chair. “I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you, dealing with your brother’s actions.”
Robin’s smile faded completely. “It’s been challenging. But I’m not giving up on him. I can’t.”
An awkward silence fell over the table. I fidgeted with my napkin, trying to find the right words to fix this mess I’d created.
How do you apologize for accusing someone of being a criminal? For bringing the police down on an innocent man?
Finally, I took a deep breath, steeling myself. “Robin, I know this isn’t how either of us imagined this evening going. And I completely understand if you never want to see me again. But, if you’re willing, I’d love to start over. Maybe we could try another date? One without any police involvement or mistaken identities?!”
He looked at me for a long moment. My heart raced as I waited for his response. Finally, he broke into a genuine grin, the warmth returning to his eyes.
“I’d like that, Selena. I’d like that a lot!”
As we left the café, walking into the cool night air, I couldn’t help but feel that despite all the chaos and misunderstandings, this might just be the beginning of something wonderful.
And terrifying. Because now, somewhere out there, was a man who looked exactly like the one beside me. A man who was everything I’d feared Robin to be.
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