I thought my husband would be there for me when my mom passed away, but instead, he chose a vacation to Hawaii over my grief. Devastated, I faced the funeral alone. But when he returned, he walked into a situation he never expected—a lesson he wouldn’t soon forget. I was at work when the doctor’s number flashed on my phone, and somehow, I knew what was coming. My heart sank even before I answered. Mom was gone. Just like that. One minute she was fighting a minor lung infection, and the next… nothing. My world stopped making sense.
I don’t remember much after that. One moment I was sitting in my cubicle, and the next I was home, fumbling with my keys, eyes blurred with tears. John’s car was in the driveway, another one of his “work-from-home” days, which usually meant ESPN muted in the background while he pretended to answer emails.“John?” My voice echoed through the house. “I need you.” He stepped into the kitchen, holding a coffee mug, looking mildly annoyed. “What’s wrong? You look terrible.” I tried to speak, but the words got tangled in my throat. I reached out to him, desperate for comfort. He sighed and gave me a quick, awkward pat on the back, like he was consoling a distant acquaintance. “My mom… she died, John. Mom’s gone.” His grip tightened for a moment. “Oh, wow. That’s… I’m sorry.” Then, just as quickly, he pulled away. “Do you want me to order takeout?
Maybe Thai?” I nodded, numb. The next day, reality hit hard. There was so much to handle—planning the funeral, notifying family, and dealing with a lifetime of memories. As I sat at the kitchen table, buried in lists, I remembered our planned vacation. “John, we’ll need to cancel Hawaii,” I said, looking up from my phone. “The funeral will probably be next week, and—” “Cancel?”
He lowered his newspaper, frowning. “Edith, those tickets were non-refundable. We’d lose a lot of money. Besides, I’ve already booked my golf games.” I stared at him, stunned. “John, my mother just died.” He folded the newspaper with the kind of precision that told me he was more irritated than concerned. “I get that you’re upset, but funerals are for family. I’m just your husband—your cousins won’t even notice I’m not there. You can handle things here, and you know I’m not great with emotional stuff.” It felt like I’d been punched in the gut. “Just my husband?” “You know what I mean,” he muttered, avoiding my gaze and adjusting his tie. “Besides, someone should use those tickets. You can text me if you need anything.” I felt like I was seeing him clearly for the first time in 15 years of marriage. The week that followed was a blur. John occasionally offered a stiff pat on the shoulder or suggested I watch a comedy to lift my mood. But when the day of the funeral came, he was on a plane to Hawaii, posting Instagram stories of sunsets and cocktails. “#LivingMyBestLife,” one caption read. Meanwhile, I buried my mother alone on a rainy Thursday. That night, sitting in an empty house, surrounded by untouched sympathy casseroles, something snapped inside me. I had spent years making excuses for John’s emotional absence. “He’s just not a feelings person,” I would say. “He shows his love in other ways.” But I was done pretending.I called my friend Sarah, a realtor. “Can you list the house for me? Oh, and include John’s Porsche in the deal.” “His Porsche? Eddie, he’ll lose it!” “That’s the point.” The next morning, “potential buyers” started showing up. I sat in the kitchen, sipping coffee, watching as they circled John’s beloved car. When his Uber finally pulled into the driveway, I couldn’t help but smile. It was showtime. John stormed in, face flushed. “Edith, what the hell? People are asking about my car!” “Oh, that. I’m selling the house. The Porsche is a great bonus, don’t you think?”He sputtered, pulling out his phone. “This is insane! I’ll call Sarah right now!” “Go ahead,” I said sweetly. “Maybe you can tell her about your fabulous vacation. How was the beach?” Realization slowly dawned across his face. “This… is this some kind of payback? Did I do something wrong?” I stood, letting my anger finally surface. “You abandoned me when I needed you most. I’m just doing what you do: looking out for myself. After all, I’m just your wife, right?” John spent the next hour frantically trying to shoo away buyers, while begging me to reconsider. By the time Sarah texted that her friends had run out of patience, I let him off the hook—sort of. “Fine. I won’t sell the house or the car.” I paused. “This time.” He sagged with relief. “Thank you, Edith. I—” I held up my hand. “But things are going to change. I needed my husband, and you weren’t there. You’re going to start acting like a partner, or next time, the For Sale sign will be real.” He looked ashamed, finally understanding the gravity of his actions. “What can I do to make this right?” “You can start by showing up. Be a partner, not a roommate. I lost my mother, John. That kind of grief isn’t something you can fix with a vacation or a fancy dinner.” He nodded. “I don’t know how to be the man you need, but I love you, and I want to try.” It’s not perfect now. John still struggles with emotions, but he’s going to therapy, and last week, for the first time, he asked me how I was feeling about Mom. He listened while I talked about how much I missed her calls and how I sometimes still reach for the phone, only to remember she’s not there. He even opened up a little about his own feelings. It’s progress. Baby steps. I often wonder what Mom would say about all this. I can almost hear her chuckling, shaking her head. “That’s my girl,” she’d say. “Never let them see you sweat. Just show them the ‘For Sale’ sign instead.” Because if there’s one thing she taught me, it’s that strength comes in many forms. Sometimes it’s pushing through the pain, and sometimes it’s knowing when to push back.
If you find a tick inside your home, here’s what you need to know
Nature is the home to an incredibly versatile array of species, but ticks are definitely one of those that we tend to avoid at all costs.
These tiny arachnids, that are related to spiders, mites, and scorpions, are in fact parasites that survive by attaching themselves to larger animals and feeding on their blood. Humans aren’t spared either. Sadly, these insects carry harmful bacteria that can spread disease to people.
Sadly, tick-borne diseases are at an all-time high, with about 50,000 cases reported each year, and far more going unreported.
There are different types of ticks, and unfortunately, they sometimes find their way to people’s homes. The types most commonly found in homes are the black-legged tick, the dog tick, and the brown dog tick.
- Black-legged Ticks – known as deer ticks, these ticks are typically brown or black in color and have a flattened, oval-shaped body. They are commonly found in wooded areas and can transmit Lyme disease.
- Dog Ticks are larger and can range in color from brown to reddish-brown. They have a tough, shield-shaped body. Dog ticks can transmit diseases such as Rocky Mountain spotted fever.
- Brown Dog Ticks are brown in color and have a slender body.
Although the tick season is between March and October, or sometimes longer, we should be wary of this insects all year round. In fact,if beaten by a tick, a person can develop symptoms even after two or three months.
The bite itself isn’t painful and can cause swelling, itchiness, blistering, and bruising. The bad thing is that ticks also carry and transmit severe diseases, most commonly Lyme disease, as well as Rocky Mountain spotted fever, ehrlichiosis, and babesiosis.
Initially, Lyme disease develops as a circular red ‘bull’s eye’ rash around the site of a tick bite. However, not everyone gets a rash and you should also watch out for a flu-like illness with fever, headache, tiredness and general aches and pains.
The best way to prevent being bitten by a tick is to avoid tall grasses and areas where ticks thrive (such as moorlands and woodlands), especially during the warmer months.
In case you do get bitten, you should remove the tick as soon as possible in order to prevent infections.
These are some of the ways of safe removal.
- Use fine-tipped tweezers: Use clean, fine-tipped tweezers to grasp the tick as close to the skin as possible.
- Pull gently: Apply steady upward pressure, being careful not to squeeze or crush the tick. Aim to remove the tick in one smooth motion without twisting or jerking. Twisting or jerking can cause the tick’s head to break off and stay inside the skin, where it can still transmit disease.
- Clean the area: After removing the tick, clean the affected area with soap and water or an antiseptic solution. Monitor the site of the bite for any signs of infection or a rash, and consult a healthcare professional if necessary.
If by any chance ticks find their way into your home, take immediate action in order to prevent infestation. Most times, ticks are brought into your home in case they stick on your clothes or onto your pets.
- Isolate the area: If you have identified the presence of ticks in a specific area, keep pets and children away from that space.
- Wear protective gear: Put on gloves and a long-sleeved shirt to protect yourself from potential tick bites.
- Clean the area: Clean the area where you found the tick. If it is in bedding, wash the sheets. Inspect the area to ensure there are no more ticks that are present. Dispose of the tick by either flushing it down the toilet or sealing it in a container or ziplock bag before placing it in the trash.
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