Kayla, still grieving her grandmother, was headed home after the funeral, unaware of the chaos that awaited her during the flight. Mistaken for someone else, she had to rely on her instincts to get through the unexpected trouble.
Feeling drained from the funeral and her pregnancy, Kayla just wanted to be in her own bed. The emotional farewell to her grandmother, who had always supported her, weighed heavily on her.
While packing, her mother expressed concern about her leaving so soon. Kayla reassured her that she needed to return to work and her husband, Colin, who struggled without her. Her parents planned to stay a few more days to sort out her grandmother’s affairs, but Kayla wished her grandmother could have met her unborn baby.
Navigating the busy airport, Kayla hated flying, but it was preferable to a long drive. After boarding, she settled in, eager for the journey home. As the flight took off, Kayla sensed someone staring at her. A man a few rows back caught her eye, making her uneasy, but she dismissed it as someone judging her for traveling while pregnant.
Moments into the flight, a stern flight attendant approached her and asked her to follow her to the back. Confused, Kayla complied. Suddenly, the attendant ordered her to kneel, and the man who had been watching her approached, accusing her of theft.
Kayla insisted she hadn’t stolen anything and was returning from her grandmother’s funeral. The man showed her pictures of a woman who looked like her but had distinct tattoos that Kayla didn’t have. Just as she was starting to panic about her baby, the man began to reconsider.
In a moment of desperation, Kayla placed his hand on her belly to prove she was pregnant. Relieved but still embarrassed, he apologized, explaining he thought she was a thief he was pursuing.
However, the situation escalated when the flight attendant revealed a gun and ordered them both to comply. In a surge of instinct to protect her baby, Kayla kicked the attendant, causing her to drop the gun. The man tackled her, revealing that she was the real thief.
Once they landed, police were waiting. Detective Connor, who had been tracking the thief, apologized for mistaking Kayla for the criminal. Despite the ordeal, Kayla felt a strange sense of relief. As she stepped out of the airport and saw Colin waiting with flowers, she felt at peace.
Colin embraced her, glad to have her back. On the drive home, Kayla recounted the harrowing flight. Concerned for her well-being, Colin asked if she needed a doctor, but she reassured him that she was fine. As he placed his hands on her belly, they shared a moment of happiness, looking forward to their future together.
Matt Heath: My parting message: Enjoy things while they are around
A lot of big, tragic and important things have happened to this wonderful country of ours since April 2014. None of which I have covered. I was too busy writing about hungover parenting, ancient philosophy and my dog Colin.
Out of the 536 columns I have written, 27 were about that guy. Far too few. He is such a good boy, he deserves an article a week.
Today is the end of an era for me, and whenever these final events pop up in our lives, we can’t help but think about the ultimate end.
Everything we do, we will one day do for the last time. That’s why you have to enjoy things while they are around. It’s not just big events like leaving a job, house or loved one either. Whatever moment you happen to be in now, you will never get it back, and you don’t know how many more you have.
Everything we do in life, from eating pizza to spending time with the people we love, to driving, writing, drinking or breathing, we will one day experience for the final time. It might happen tomorrow. This can be either a depressing or an inspiring thought, depending on how you look at it.
A few years back in this column, I interviewed professor of philosophy William B Irvine, of Wright State University, Ohio, on this very topic. He put it this way on a Zoom call: “Recognition of the impermanence of everything in life can invest the things we do with a significance and intensity that would otherwise be absent. The only way we can be truly alive is if we make it our business periodically to entertain thoughts of the end.”
Today’s column is very meaningful to me because it is my last. Like the last night with a lover before she goes overseas. And just like a lover, there have been some half-arsed efforts put in from me over the years. Last week, for example, I spent 750 words moaning about how bad my cricket team is. But the truth is that any of my columns could have been the final. If I had reminded myself every week for the past 10 years that the end is inevitable, I may have been more grateful for having a column and appreciated writing them all as much as I am this one.
While everything we do could have more meaning with a focus on finitude, some things are inherently more worthwhile than others. There is no doubt my column “The pros and cons of wearing Speedos” from November 2022 was less meaningful than most things in this world. That was a waste of everyone’s time. So, if we only have so much time, how do we pick the best things to do?
Well, Oliver Burkeman, the author of Four Thousand Weeks – Time Management For Mortals, suggested this to me in a 2022 column: “Ask yourself, does this choice enlarge me? You usually know on some unspoken level if it does. That’s a good way to distinguish between options.”
With that in mind, I don’t feel great about my 2018 article on “New Zealand’s best hole”. That didn’t enlarge anyone.
There will be people reading this column right now who have loved my writing in the Herald and are sad to see it end. Others will have hated it and are glad to see me go. Many won’t have any opinion at all. But for those in the first camp, I have good news. I have a book coming out on May 28 called A Life Less Punishing – 13 Ways To Love The Life You Got (Allen and Unwin Book Publishers). It’s a deep dive into the history, philosophy and science of not wasting our time lost in anger, loneliness, humiliation, stress, fear, boredom and all the other ways we find to not enjoy perfectly good lives. It’s available for pre-order right now (google it if you’re interested).
A Life Less Punishing took me two years to write and is equivalent in words to 100 of these columns. Which would be a complete nightmare for those in the hate camp, but as I say, great news for those who want more.
Anyway, thanks to the Herald for having me, thanks to the lovely people who make an effort to say nice things to me about my column nearly every day and thanks to the universe for every single second we get.
Bless!
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