Marriage has its ups and downs, but there’s always space for laughter. The daily moments between husbands and wives can be heartwarming and funny, as shown in these jokes.
From surprising notes to clever replies, these seven jokes showcase the playful side of marriage. Whether you’re married or just enjoy a good laugh, these stories will make you nod in agreement and chuckle at their unexpected turns.
1 The Note Under the Bed
In any marriage, there can be moments of frustration, especially when one spouse feels unappreciated. This joke takes that idea to the extreme when a wife tries to teach her husband a lesson with a note, only to be shocked by his reaction.
A woman, upset that her husband was late coming home again, left a note saying, “I’ve had enough and left you. Don’t bother looking for me.” She then hid under the bed to see how he would react.
After a short time, the husband came home. She could hear him in the kitchen and saw him go to the dresser to pick up the note. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it and called someone.
“She’s finally gone… Yes, I know, about time, right? I’m coming to see you. Put on that sexy nightie. I love you… Can’t wait to see you… We’ll do all the fun things you like.”
He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left. When she came out from under the bed, furious and in tears, she grabbed the note to see what he wrote…
“I can see your feet. We’re out of bread. Be back in five minutes.”
2 The Pharmacist’s Explanation
Sometimes, simple misunderstandings can blow up, leading to confrontations. This joke humorously shows how quickly a situation can escalate when assumptions are made, only for the truth to make everyone laugh.
When a husband came home, he found his wife crying. She said, “The pharmacist insulted me on the phone this morning!”
Angry, the husband drove to the pharmacy to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. But before he could speak, the pharmacist said, “Wait, let me explain. This morning, my alarm didn’t go off, and I woke up late.”
“I skipped breakfast and rushed to the car, only to realize I locked my house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then I drove too fast and got a speeding ticket. While driving to work, I had a flat tire. By the time I opened the pharmacy, there was already a line. And the phone wouldn’t stop ringing.”
He added, “I had to break a roll of coins to make change, but they spilled everywhere. When I stood up, I hit my head on the cash drawer, and all the perfume bottles fell and broke. Then the phone rang, and it was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer, and all I did was tell her.”
3 The Family Secret
Family secrets can be surprising and funny. In this joke, a young man is excited about his upcoming marriage until his father reveals some shocking news, leading to a hilarious twist.
One Sunday morning, George rushed into the living room and shouted, “Dad! Mom! I have great news! I’m marrying the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away, and her name is Susan.”
Later, George’s dad pulled him aside and said, “Son, we need to talk. Look at your mom. We’ve been married for 30 years. She’s a great wife and mom, but she’s not very exciting. I used to cheat on her, and Susan is your half-sister, so you can’t marry her.”
George was heartbroken. After eight months, he started dating again. A year later, he proudly said, “Diane said yes! We’re getting married in June.”
Again, his father pulled him aside to share more bad news. “Diane is your half-sister too, George. I’m sorry.”
George was furious! He went to his mother with what his father said. “Dad is ruining my life. I guess I’ll never get married. Every time I like a girl, Dad says she’s my half-sister.”
His mother laughed and said, “Don’t listen to him. He’s not really your father.”
4 The Fried Eggs Incident
Everyday tasks like cooking breakfast can lead to funny arguments between spouses. This joke turns a simple breakfast into a humorous look at how we all sometimes feel the need to give advice, especially when the roles are reversed.
A wife was making fried eggs for breakfast when her husband burst into the kitchen.
“Careful!” he said. “Put in more butter! You’re cooking too many at once! Turn them! We need more butter! Oh no, they’re going to stick! Be careful! You never listen to me when you cook! Hurry! Don’t forget to salt them!”
The wife stared at him. “What’s wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “Sure you do. I just wanted to show you how it feels when I’m driving.”
5 The Supermarket Strategy
Shopping in a busy supermarket can be stressful, especially if you lose track of your spouse. This joke shows how resourceful one husband can be when looking for his wife, with a touch of humor.
In a supermarket, Ivan lost sight of his wife. He approached a young lady and asked, “Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
“Why?” asked the lady, confused by Ivan’s request.
“It’s always the same. As soon as I start talking to a pretty woman, my wife pops up out of nowhere.”
The Flu Revelation
Being stuck at home with the flu is never fun, but this joke shows how a man’s sickness revealed his wife’s true feelings in a surprising and funny way. Sometimes love can be found in unexpected situations.
A man visited a friend who had been sick with the flu for weeks.
“How was it?” the man asked.
“Surprisingly wonderful,” the friend replied.
“How so?” the man asked.
“Well, I found out how much my wife loves me and how happy she is to have me home.”
“How do you know?”
“Every time the postman, the milkman, or the trash collector comes by, she runs out shouting, ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!’”
The Late-Night Approach
Sometimes sneaking in late after a night out doesn’t go as planned. In this joke, two husbands compare how they deal with their wives when they come home late, revealing that a more direct approach can be the best way.
Two married friends were out drinking when one said, “I don’t know what to do. When I come home after drinking, I turn off the headlights before I get to the driveway. I coast into the garage, take off my shoes before entering the house, sneak upstairs, change in the bathroom, and slip into bed, and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out too late!”
His friend replied, “You’re doing it wrong. I drive into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, flush the toilet loudly, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, and jump into bed saying, ‘Do you want to make love?’ And every time, she acts like she’s sound asleep!”
The moment I met my boyfriend’s mom, my world turned upside down
The life story of June, an 18-year-old girl, resembles a movie script and is just another example that there are things that we can never predict, not even in our wildest dreams.
She started her story explaining that she and her boyfriend, Alex, fated for seven months, but they were able to form a really strong bond. Somehow, they both felt they were meant for one another.
On his 18th birthday, Alex said he wanted to introduce her with his parents.
“I’m excited for you to meet them, Junie,” Alex said. “I think you’ll really love my mom. You both have the same dry humor.”
When Alex spoke of his parents, it was obvious that he and his mom and dad adored him. He shared how they had a lot of fun during movie nights at home and how supportive they were of him.
June was happy for him knowing that he, just like her, was adopted. It was beautiful that both of their adoptive parents turned out to be great people.
In fact, when June turned seventeen, her adoptive parents told her everything about her biological mom. As June really wanted to meet her, she learned who she was and the two agreed to have coffee together. But the meeting was a short one as June’s biological mom left the place quickly, claiming she needed to be elsewhere.
That was the only time the two had seen each other.
When June and Alex went to his place, it was his father Thomas who greeted them at the door.
“You must be June!” he exclaimed, hugging her. “Alex has told us so much about you! I’m Thomas.”
“Yes, it’s so nice to finally meet you,” June said, suddenly nervous about her outfit choice.
“Alex’s Mom just went to get some donuts. We have birthday cake, too. But Alex loves his donuts,” Thomas said.
June kept looking at the door. She couldn’t wait to finally meet Alex’s mom because she was the one June wanted to impress.
Moments later, the mom entered the house, carrying a box of donuts in her hands.
The world then stopped for a moment for June. She found herself looking straight at the woman who gave her up for adoption. It was the craziest coincidence.
“June,” she whispered, her expression revealing a mix of shock and recognition.
“What are you doing here?” June asked.
“Wait, you two know each other?” Alex asked in confusion.
It was then that June said, “Your mom is my biological mother.”
Alex started asking for an explanation, and that’s when his mom, Elizabeth, revealed the truth. She confessed that she had given birth to a baby girl 18 years ago, but she was way too young to be able to keep her and take care of her.
“Years later, unable to have a child of our own, Thomas and I adopted Alex. He’s always known he was adopted, that we chose him, and loved him,” Elizabeth said.
June had plenty of questions. “Why didn’t you reach out after I found you?” she asked her mother.
“I was scared,” Elizabeth admitted. “I didn’t know if reaching out would be worse. I thought I was protecting us. I didn’t know how Alex would react to having a sister of sorts, especially one that was the same age as him and biologically my child. I didn’t want to hurt him in any way.”
For both June and Alex, this revelation was a lot to take in. Although there was no biological connection between them, the circumstances of their family ties necessitated a reevaluation of their relationship.
At the end of the day, his mom was her mom, and that felt too close to home.
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