Marriage has its ups and downs, but there’s always space for laughter. The daily moments between husbands and wives can be heartwarming and funny, as shown in these jokes.
From surprising notes to clever replies, these seven jokes showcase the playful side of marriage. Whether you’re married or just enjoy a good laugh, these stories will make you nod in agreement and chuckle at their unexpected turns.
1 The Note Under the Bed
In any marriage, there can be moments of frustration, especially when one spouse feels unappreciated. This joke takes that idea to the extreme when a wife tries to teach her husband a lesson with a note, only to be shocked by his reaction.
A woman, upset that her husband was late coming home again, left a note saying, “I’ve had enough and left you. Don’t bother looking for me.” She then hid under the bed to see how he would react.
After a short time, the husband came home. She could hear him in the kitchen and saw him go to the dresser to pick up the note. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it and called someone.
“She’s finally gone… Yes, I know, about time, right? I’m coming to see you. Put on that sexy nightie. I love you… Can’t wait to see you… We’ll do all the fun things you like.”
He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left. When she came out from under the bed, furious and in tears, she grabbed the note to see what he wrote…
“I can see your feet. We’re out of bread. Be back in five minutes.”
2 The Pharmacist’s Explanation
Sometimes, simple misunderstandings can blow up, leading to confrontations. This joke humorously shows how quickly a situation can escalate when assumptions are made, only for the truth to make everyone laugh.
When a husband came home, he found his wife crying. She said, “The pharmacist insulted me on the phone this morning!”
Angry, the husband drove to the pharmacy to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. But before he could speak, the pharmacist said, “Wait, let me explain. This morning, my alarm didn’t go off, and I woke up late.”
“I skipped breakfast and rushed to the car, only to realize I locked my house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then I drove too fast and got a speeding ticket. While driving to work, I had a flat tire. By the time I opened the pharmacy, there was already a line. And the phone wouldn’t stop ringing.”
He added, “I had to break a roll of coins to make change, but they spilled everywhere. When I stood up, I hit my head on the cash drawer, and all the perfume bottles fell and broke. Then the phone rang, and it was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer, and all I did was tell her.”
3 The Family Secret
Family secrets can be surprising and funny. In this joke, a young man is excited about his upcoming marriage until his father reveals some shocking news, leading to a hilarious twist.
One Sunday morning, George rushed into the living room and shouted, “Dad! Mom! I have great news! I’m marrying the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away, and her name is Susan.”
Later, George’s dad pulled him aside and said, “Son, we need to talk. Look at your mom. We’ve been married for 30 years. She’s a great wife and mom, but she’s not very exciting. I used to cheat on her, and Susan is your half-sister, so you can’t marry her.”
George was heartbroken. After eight months, he started dating again. A year later, he proudly said, “Diane said yes! We’re getting married in June.”
Again, his father pulled him aside to share more bad news. “Diane is your half-sister too, George. I’m sorry.”
George was furious! He went to his mother with what his father said. “Dad is ruining my life. I guess I’ll never get married. Every time I like a girl, Dad says she’s my half-sister.”
His mother laughed and said, “Don’t listen to him. He’s not really your father.”
4 The Fried Eggs Incident
Everyday tasks like cooking breakfast can lead to funny arguments between spouses. This joke turns a simple breakfast into a humorous look at how we all sometimes feel the need to give advice, especially when the roles are reversed.
A wife was making fried eggs for breakfast when her husband burst into the kitchen.
“Careful!” he said. “Put in more butter! You’re cooking too many at once! Turn them! We need more butter! Oh no, they’re going to stick! Be careful! You never listen to me when you cook! Hurry! Don’t forget to salt them!”
The wife stared at him. “What’s wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “Sure you do. I just wanted to show you how it feels when I’m driving.”
5 The Supermarket Strategy
Shopping in a busy supermarket can be stressful, especially if you lose track of your spouse. This joke shows how resourceful one husband can be when looking for his wife, with a touch of humor.
In a supermarket, Ivan lost sight of his wife. He approached a young lady and asked, “Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
“Why?” asked the lady, confused by Ivan’s request.
“It’s always the same. As soon as I start talking to a pretty woman, my wife pops up out of nowhere.”
The Flu Revelation
Being stuck at home with the flu is never fun, but this joke shows how a man’s sickness revealed his wife’s true feelings in a surprising and funny way. Sometimes love can be found in unexpected situations.
A man visited a friend who had been sick with the flu for weeks.
“How was it?” the man asked.
“Surprisingly wonderful,” the friend replied.
“How so?” the man asked.
“Well, I found out how much my wife loves me and how happy she is to have me home.”
“How do you know?”
“Every time the postman, the milkman, or the trash collector comes by, she runs out shouting, ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!’”
The Late-Night Approach
Sometimes sneaking in late after a night out doesn’t go as planned. In this joke, two husbands compare how they deal with their wives when they come home late, revealing that a more direct approach can be the best way.
Two married friends were out drinking when one said, “I don’t know what to do. When I come home after drinking, I turn off the headlights before I get to the driveway. I coast into the garage, take off my shoes before entering the house, sneak upstairs, change in the bathroom, and slip into bed, and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out too late!”
His friend replied, “You’re doing it wrong. I drive into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, flush the toilet loudly, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, and jump into bed saying, ‘Do you want to make love?’ And every time, she acts like she’s sound asleep!”
Pop Icon Cyndi Lauper Battles Secret Illness: The Painful Truth Behind Her ‘True Colors
There’s something magical about Cyndi Lauper, the lively artist behind the 1983 hit “Girls Just Want to Have Fun,” a song that quickly became a global anthem, encouraging women everywhere to embrace fun and freedom.
Lauper is the definition of cool. Her quirky, carefree personality, playful fashion, and colorful hair inspire people with her message to always be yourself.
However, behind the playful voice that spreads joy to her listeners, Lauper battles a severe skin condition called psoriasis. At one point, it was so intense that, as she described, “It looked like someone threw boiling water on me.”
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The legendary pop star, now 69, recently opened up about her ongoing battle with psoriasis—a chronic skin condition that has no cure—since she was first diagnosed in 2010.
Psoriasis can cause severe pain, itching, discomfort, and rough, scaly patches on the skin. About 8 million people in the U.S. and 125 million globally live with this condition.
Lauper’s symptoms started as scalp irritation and general discomfort, which worsened over time.
Initially, she thought her itchy scalp was from frequently coloring her hair, but the symptoms continued, causing both physical pain and emotional strain for the award-winning musician.
The “Time after Time” singer is a busy mother, touring pop star, and activist.
Inspired by her sister Ellen, who is a lesbian, Lauper has become a strong supporter of LGBT rights, working tirelessly to advocate for the community.
Her 2005 song “Above the Clouds” was written in honor of Matthew Shepard, a 21-year-old gay student who was beaten to death in Wyoming. Lauper also started the “True Colors” concert tour in 2007-2008, which raises support for local and private LGBT charities and organizations.
Besides her advocacy, Lauper has an impressive career as a singer, songwriter, and actor. Over the past forty years, she has received many awards, including a Tony Award, two Grammy Awards, an MTV Music Video Award, and an Emmy Award for her role in a 1995 episode of the TV show *Mad About You*.
She also has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, is a member of the Songwriters Hall of Fame, and in 2013, her humanitarian work earned her a special invitation to attend President Barack Obama’s second inauguration.
Despite her diagnosis, Lauper continues to stay strong. She is committed to not letting psoriasis hold her back and works on managing stress to avoid triggering flare-ups.
When she was first diagnosed and dealing with severe psoriasis, Lauper wrote the music and lyrics for the Broadway musical *Kinky Boots*, which won her a Tony Award for Best Original Score. She became the first woman to win a Tony in that category on her own. The show also won five more Tony Awards, including Best New Musical.
In a conversation with the American Academy of Dermatology (AAD), Lauper openly shared her experience living with the autoimmune skin condition, hoping her story might help others.
“I’ve never been able to really manage stress,” she admitted, explaining that she now takes a holistic approach to healing and stress relief both at home and on the road. She learned reiki, a Japanese technique for relaxation, saying, “That helps me.”
Along with reiki, Lauper works to stay grounded by meditating, practicing yoga, or taking walks in the fresh air with her dog and her husband, David Thornton, whom she married in 1991. The couple has one son, born in 1997.
“It’s not a bad thing to take care of yourself,” Lauper said, urging people to always “make a little time for you.”
She encourages starting small. “How about five minutes for you?” she added.
Lauper speaks with resilience about her experience, explaining that “when psoriasis gets really bad, it’s really hard to get up again.” She shared that at times, she couldn’t regulate her body temperature, leading to chills that could result in hypothermia. Even when resting, her condition only worsened, and hearing people dismiss it as “just a rash” added to her struggles.
“You don’t have to suffer,” Lauper said. Treatments, such as topical and oral medication or injections, can help ease the often unbearable symptoms of psoriasis. For Lauper, she found relief with Novartis’ Cosentyx, and as a spokesperson for the medication, she happily shares that she’s been “four years clear.”
In 2017, Lauper spoke with HealthDay about managing her psoriasis.
“It’s funny—you start wearing gloves, or this and that, hoping [psoriasis] is invisible, but it’s not. I didn’t show it off, like, ‘Woo-hoo, check this out!’ Doesn’t everyone try to hide it? You’d be surprised how many people have it and don’t talk about it. It’s one of those invisible things, so it’s good to talk about it.”
She shares more about it on her podcast *PsO in the Know*, where she talks with celebrities, advocates, and everyday people who offer insights on living with psoriasis.
The show is now in its third season and is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Pandora, and Stitcher.
Lauper isn’t the only celebrity with psoriasis. Kim Kardashian, now 42, was diagnosed at 30 and is open about her challenges. Her mom, Kris Jenner, 67, had her first outbreak in her late 20s and said it was “life-changing.” Other celebrities with psoriasis include musician Art Garfunkel, 81, actor Jon Lovitz, 65, and Jerry Mathers, 74, known as “The Beaver.”
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